A woman runs into the store and doesn’t even look around. Instead, she runs straight up to the counter.

Customer: “Do you have that game? It sounds like a Mexican cleaner or something.”

Me: “A Mexi… what? No, I don’t think we have it.”

Customer: “I think it’s like Rosa, or Maria, or something? All the kids are playing it!”

Me: “I’m afraid I really don’t know what game you’re referring to. Maybe if—”

Customer: “Little fat guy, jumping up and down! My son really wants it!”

Me: “Uh… do you mean Mario?”

Customer: “That’s the one! Yes, one Maria, please.”

Me: “I can get you Mario, ma’am.”

Customer: “It’s not all in Spanish, is it? My son already learned too much from the housekeeper; I don’t want him to replace his English with it.”

A kid comes up to the counter holding two very old games and a copy of a new one: “Madden NFL 23”.

Kid: “Can I get Madden NFL 23 if I exchange it with these old games?”

The games in question are worth pennies, so this isn’t happening.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t credit you the whole value of a new game based on these two older games.”

Kid: “But this is Madden NFL 10, and this is Madden NFL 13! They add up to twenty-three!”

Me: “That’s not how it works, kid. Sorry.”

Kid: *Walking away, dejected* “Stupid math.”

I was in a videogame store around Christmas a fair few years ago when I saw a kid (maybe eight or nine) come in with his mum. The mum wanted to get her kid a Nintendo DS, but even the pre-owned ones were too expensive, so she just said “maybe next year”. It broke my heart.

I was that child once. My family wasn’t rich but my Dad always managed to get us the consoles from a generation or two back, so I was enjoying my N64 when my friends were raving about Final Fantasy 10. We never sold consoles when we were done with them. Instead, we used to give them to the children’s wing at our local hospital. They were always appreciative, because any newer generation consoles that were donated would invariably get stolen, so these reliable older consoles were a godsend.

I was there at the shop to trade in my 2DS because I had finished playing Pokémon X and was going to use the trade-in money to buy steam credit gift cards, but I had to follow my Dad’s example.

I left the queue and caught up to them outside and just said “hey” and handed her the bag with my boxed 2DS and the Pokémon game inside. From the look on her face when she checked the bag, I think she suspected they were stolen goods, or she was just shocked. She gave a trembling “thank you” and I had to leave before I cried.

I really hope that boy had the best Christmas ever.

I used to work as a store manager in a video game retail store. In addition to video games, we also sold various types of apparel and knickknacks. This story takes place two weeks before the store is set to permanently close.

A few kids come into the store soon before closing time. They start to wander around the store, poking at things. These kids had given me trouble before, so I keep an eye on them as I continue restocking. As I’m putting some apparel out and fixing the displays, I notice one of the kids reach up to pick up a Wonder Woman beanie, put it on, and rip off the tag. I grab the tag and hold onto it as I restock.

Closing time comes and goes, and the kids are still wandering. I’ve got work to do, so I don’t say anything. Then, all five of these teenagers make their way toward the door, one of them still wearing the beanie. I decide to say something.

Me: “Hey, guys, see anything you like?”

Teenagers: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Did you want to buy that beanie before you go?”

Kid With Beanie On: “What are you talking about? I came in with this.”

I hold up the tag for the beanie in question.

Me: “My dude, I saw you take it off the rack, put it on, and take the tag off. At this time, I’m going to have to ask you to leave my store.”

The kid throws the beanie down on the ground and stomps off.

Other Kids: “Oh, we weren’t with him.”

Me: “Yeah, you were just walking alongside him and joking with him the entire time. You all leave, too.”

Other Kids: “You can’t do this; we’re calling the police!”

I worked for that retailer for ten years, five of them in management. I never had to throw people out except for those last two weeks before the store shut down.

An older man comes into the store.

Customer: “I need to buy my ten-year-old grandson a video game. What do ten-year-olds like?”

Me: “Well, there are a lot of options! Do you know what games he’s enjoyed before?”

Customer: “To be honest, I haven’t a f****** clue about any of this stuff! But his mother wants me to get him a game, and it needs to be godly!”

Me: “Godly? As in…”

Customer: “Something appropriate! Nothing ungodly!”

Me: “Okay, well, we have lots of family-friendly games available.”

I figure out that he has a PlayStation (that is a story in its own right) and start going through some options.

Me: “Ratchet & Clank is a fun platformer that—”

Customer: “No, he’s holding a gun. That’s too violent.”

Me: “Well, Gran Turismo is a racing game that—”

Customer: “No! Luxury cars are a sign of greed! One of the deadly sins!”

Me: “Well, we have this soccer game that—”

Customer: “So he can start to copy the hedonistic lifestyles of those soccer players with all their drugs and prostitutes?! No, thank you!”

Me: “Sir… I don’t think I can help you. Maybe if you came here with your grandson you would have more luck.”

Customer: “You’re supposed to help me! F****** useless! Wait, what about this one?”

He picks up a copy of “God Of War”.

Me: “That’s a pretty violent game, sir, and I wouldn’t recommend it for a ten-year-old.”

Customer: “It’s got God in the title, ain’t it? I’ll take this one.”

I’m just happy to be at the end of this conversation.

Me: “Okay… but I’ll include a gift receipt just in case.” 

The cover of the game has a man wielding a giant axe, but hey, at least it wasn’t a cartoony ray gun!