I own a local video game store. I occasionally host tournaments, and the prize or prize money is something usually high-value, such as a $100 gift card. All of the signups for the tournament are done ahead of time, but occasionally, I will take people who show up the day of if there’re still slots open. Today, I’m hosting a tournament for Super Smash Bros. I’m female.

Me: “All right, so we have [short list of names] for the first bracket!”

Random Guy: “Which bracket am I in?”

Me: “What’s your name?”

Random Guy: “[Random Guy].”

I check my list. He’s not on there. I look at my signup list and he’s not on there, either.

Me: “Huh, I don’t have you on my lists. When did you sign up?”

Random Guy: “Oh, I never did. But I was told I could just show up!”

Me: “You’re welcome to spectate, and if tournament day comes around and there’re still spots open, yes, you could sign up, but since I filled up on spots about a week ago there’s no way to do that.”

Random Guy: “Well, the owner said I could!”

He has a smug look on his face. One of my regulars looks at him.

Regular: “The owner did? Really?”

Random Guy: “Yeah! He said to show up and he’d find me a spot!”

All of my regulars start laughing. The random guy suddenly looks unsure and confused.

Random Guy: “What? He did!”

Me: “Buddy, then you got lied to. I’m the owner. I never tell people they can show up the day of and be guaranteed a spot.”

Random Guy: “But… you’re a girl!”

Me: “Yeah, what about it?”

Random Guy: “Girls don’t play video games! You probably just got hired to look pretty!”

My regular hands me his controller.

Regular: “How about you two fight one-on-one? If girls can’t play video games, it’ll be an easy win.”

Everyone pretty much agrees for us to play. The random guy jumps at the chance. We start… and he loses miserably. Once the game is over, he dumps his controller on a table and storms out.

Regular: “So, are you gonna tell him you’re the top player of this game in pretty much the whole city?”

Me: “No, girls don’t play video games.”

Now any time they sign up, my regulars ask if they can “just show up” to get a spot.

Related:
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare, Part 5
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare, Part 4
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare, Part 3
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare, Part 2
Call Of Duty: Misogynist Warfare

I own a local video game store. As most people know, you don’t really get back what you paid for games because of us needing to make a profit and because of how values fluctuate. If a game’s value is too low, I don’t buy it. A guy comes in one day with a box of games.

Customer: “I’d like to sell these.”

Me: “Cool, let me take a look!”

I open the box. While there’s a few games worth some money, the majority are early 2000s sports games. I pull out the ones I can take in at all and pull up the trade values for them.

Me: “Okay, for this stack here, I can get you about $20.”

Customer: “What? But I paid hundreds for everything here! I want at least $75!”

Me: “Sir, the games in the box are worth literally nothing. A collector might want them, but since they’re not high-demand, it’s not even worth the shelf space in my store. You can try selling them as a bulk game lot on eBay, but other than that, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Customer: “You’re supposed to make the customer happy! Buy my games!”

Me: “I could buy them for the cases, but you’d only get… probably about another $10.” 

Customer: “I JUST BOUGHT THESE LAST YEAR FOR $200! I DEMAND MORE!”

I put all the games back in his box and push it across the counter to him.

Me: “First, you’re not getting anything now, except kicked out of my store. You do not make demands from me. Second, if you bought these last year, you got ripped off. Not my problem. Third, buying these games for the cases would have been doing you a favor, since nobody else in the city does that.”

Customer: “YOU CAN’T THROW ME OUT!”

Me: “I can ask you to leave. You’re becoming aggressive and refusing my offer.”

Customer: “FINE! I’LL GO TO [NATIONAL VIDEO GAME STORE] AND GET HUNDREDS!”

He stormed out. I laughed, as I know that chain wouldn’t take any of his games.

Related:
Sold A Game, Bought A Life-Lesson

I am looking for a specific comic book that recently came out, so I’m going to various comic book stores in the area. I see one I’ve never been to before, “[Name] Comics & Games.” I pull into the parking lot, open the door, and freeze when there are clearly no comics in sight. The place is pretty bare, mostly empty folding tables and chairs. Three people are sitting at one of the tables staring at me.

Employee: “Uh, can we help you?”

Me: “Um, I’m looking for a comic by [Comic Book Artist]–”

Employee: “Yeah, well, we don’t carry comics.”

The employee stares like I walked into a hardware store and asked where they keep the milk.

Me: “Uh… Okay. Thanks.”

I walked outside and double-checked the sign, and yep, it said, “[Name] Comics & Games.”

Apparently, it’s a trading card game shop that also carries some collectibles, but surely they realize that having “COMICS” in their NAME is going to lead to a lot of people coming in looking for comics, right?

Caller: “Hi. I wanted to check to see if you guys had the commander decks available today.”

Me: “Yes, did you pre-order?”

Caller: “No, what’s that?”

Me: “What is a pre-order?”

Caller: “Yeah, what does it do?”

Me: “Pre-ordering is reserving something before it releases so you can get it on the day it comes out.”

Caller: “Why would I do that?”

Me: “Because some items are limited in supply but high in demand, and you can only get them if you pre-order.”

Caller: “Okay, can I do that now?”

Me: “No, the commander decks have already been released and you can buy them now. Do you know which ones you want?”

Caller: “I need five of each.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we have a limited amount available after pre-orders and don’t have enough for that.”

Caller: “Well, then, why can’t I pre-order it now to get them?”

Me: *Agitated* “I already explained, pre-orders are done before a product comes out, not after.”

Caller: “Someone should have told me to pre-order. How are we supposed to get them now?”

Me: “We’ll have more sets in the future. If you’d like, we can contact you when we get more in stock.”

Caller: “No, I need them now.”

Me: “Then I can’t help you. You can try other stores; they may have more.”

Caller: “Listen, I’ll give you more than the retail price if you get me five sets.”

Me: “I can’t do that for you; we have orders to fill.”

Caller: “C’mon, man! Name your price!”

Me: “$1000 for one set, $7000 for five sets.”

Caller: “What the f***?! That’s not a deal; you’re trying to f****** rip me off!”

Me: “You said I could name my price. Now take it or leave it.”

Caller: “F*** you!” *Hangs up*

It is 2013. A customer has come in to trade in a Nintendo DS Lite and several games. I am finishing up his transaction.

Customer: “So, this is a PS3, right?”

Me: “What is, sir?”

Customer: “This thing that I’m trading in. Isn’t it a PS3?”

Me: “No, sir, this is a Nintendo DS.”

Customer: “Oh. The PS3 is the latest version, then.”

Me: “You’re thinking of the 3DS. The PS3 is the large black system over there.”

Customer: “Oh, so, that one that says it comes with The Walking Dead and is $199 is the 3DS?”

Me: “That’s the PlayStation Vita. The 3DS is the one above it.”

Customer: “Oh. What’s the Vita?”

Me: “It’s the handheld gaming system from Sony that—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Do you think I should get one?”

Please, if you don’t know what something is, don’t just spend $200 on it.