Working Here Is A Flight Of Fancy

| Oxnard, CA, USA | Working | January 17, 2013

(I am employed full-time by a major manufacturer of aircraft and weapons for the government as an R&D engineer, and hold a degree in Aerospace Engineering. I still work part time for a video game store near a military base because I enjoy the job and the discounts. I worked as a manager with them through college, so I know the details rather well. One day, a prospective employee comes in with his job application.)

Me: *looks at his application* “Sir, I see you didn’t fill out this section detailing what offense you were convicted of. You said you have been convicted of a felony, so we require a description of the charge. This doesn’t bar you from employment, but corporate requires this.”

Prospective Employee: “I said in the application that I would discuss it in an interview.”

Me: “I see that; however, without knowing the charge, we cannot conduct an interview.”

Prospective Employee: “I’ll discuss it in an interview!”

(This goes around in circles for a few minutes before a line begins to form behind him.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but without this information we cannot conduct an initial interview. If you would just list the charge, you can explain the situation in an interview.”

(We circle a couple more times as the customer gets increasingly belligerent.)

Prospective Employee: “Well, f*** you! I don’t want to work here anyway! My job is way more important than anything you’ll ever do! I’m an aircraft controller for the Navy!”

(I’ve had enough, and snap back at the customer.)

Me: “I actually work for Lockheed Martin as a R&D lead designing and building the aircraft you land. Without me, you wouldn’t even have a job!”

(The prospective employee leaves flustered and red faced, still muttering under his breath. Before disposing of his application, my manager sees it and laughs: apparently, this job applicant was known for belittling employees every time he applied, and seemed to feel entitled to a job.)

Forever Unatoned

| Richmond, VA, USA | Right | January 15, 2013

(Being close to a bad part of town, we’d often get unruly kids with nothing better to do than to hang out in our store. It is usually the same group of kids, and they always happen to break something during every visit. After breaking a football game display (by cleverly playing football with it), we issue a permanent ban. The following takes place within a year. The next day…)

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Why won’t you let us in?”

Manager: “You keep breaking our stuff.”

10-year-old Gang Leader: “F*** you! I’ll break what I want!”

Manager: “And that’s why we banned you. Leave. Now.”

(A week later…)

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Let us in! We’ll be good!”

Manager: “Not happening.”

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Fine, this place sucks! We’ll go to the other store, then you’ll be happy!”

Manager: “Will you buy something from there?”

10-year-old Gang Leader: “No.”

Manager: “Then I don’t care where you go.”

(A month later…)

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey man, it’s been a month. We’ve learned our lesson. Let us in or we’ll tell our parents!”

Manager: “We have enough video surveillance saved of you guys to press charges. You really want to let your parents know about this?”

(They leave silently. A few months later…)

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey, I’m not sure if you heard, but the manager unbanned us!”

Me: *calling their bluff* “He’s in the back, let me check.”

(He actually had the day off. The gang runs away. Finally, a year goes by, and we haven’t seen or heard from the kids at all. When they show up, my manager is about to kick them out, when I interject.)

Me: “Listen, I think these kids got the message that we’re serious. They haven’t bothered asking to be let in for a whole year, and here they are, politely asking to be let back in. Let’s give them a second chance!”

Manager: “Fine, but they’re your responsibility.”

Me: *to the kids* “Alright guys, it’s been a whole year, and I’d like to think you learned your lesson. I convinced the manager to let you in, but do anything bad again, and it’s back to being banned. Deal?”

10-year-old Gang Leader: “Deal.” *he then drops his pants and flashes a group of adults*


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Not Wii-motely Possible

| CA, USA | Right | January 15, 2013

(It’s New Year’s Day at a popular gaming retail store. A disgruntled customer who appears to be a little caffeinated and twitchy walks up to the cashier, who also happens to be the assistant manager. He slams a Nintendo Wiimote in poor condition on the counter. Not only has it clearly been used, but it’s crusty and looks very unsanitary.)

Customer: “Listen, I know you guys can’t give cash refunds without the receipt, but you’re going to have to do it. I’m the customer, so I’m right.”

(The assistant manager remains silent and looks at the Wiimote, obviously hesitant to touch it.)

Customer: “I used to work for [name of game shop] 10 years ago, so I know how things work! Give me my cash!”

(My assistant manager looks to the cashier knowingly.)

Customer: “If you want, I can call the manager and he’ll tell you to do it! Give me my cash now!”

Assistant Manager: “You’re more than welcome to call the manager, but if you worked for [name of store] 10 years ago, then you should know things may have changed. The manager you used to know probably doesn’t even work for this chain anymore.”

Customer: “Give me my f***ing cash!”

Assistant Manager: “You just crossed the line by cussing, sir. There are children present. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “I’m the f***ing customer!”

Assistant Manager: “Get out!”

Customer: “F*** you! You guys are f***ing retards!”

(The customer storms out of the store after grabbing his Wiimote.)

Me: “Well, that’s one way to start of the New Year!”

Assistant Manager: “Coming in here and cussing is not a good way to get what you want. I hadn’t even said ‘no’ yet. Although even if I could give him a cash refund for a ‘used’ controller, it was so crusty and disgusting that it looked like he dropped it in the toilet and then used it!”

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This Employee Is Out Of Line

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Working | January 2, 2013

(It’s the holidays, and I’m a female customer standing in a very long line to purchase a PC game. While waiting, I look at a display of Nintendo games. Behind me in line are two 20-something year-old male customers. Suddenly, these two customers shove me out of the line, sending me crashing into a display of game controllers.)

Male Customer #1: “Geez, get out of the way if you’re just gonna gawk at garbage games!”

Male Customer #2: “Stupid girl gamers and their Nintendo.”

(Overhearing this, a cashier proceeds to push his way through the crowd to where we are in the line.)

Cashier: “Hey, what’s going on back there?”

Me: “These guys just shoved me out of the line!”

Cashier: *to the two male customers* “I don’t have time for this. Get out!”

(He then grabs the games the two male customers were planning to purchase, pulls them out of their hands before he pushes them through the crowd to the exit. I stand up and resume my place in line.)

Cashier: *to me* “You, no cuts. Back of the line!”

Me: “What? But I was already at this spot in line before they pushed me—”

Cashier: “Did you not hear me say I don’t have time to deal with s*** from idiots like you and those two friends of yours? Back of the line, or out!”

(Suddenly, a little boy at the back of the line speaks up.)

Little Boy: “Miss! You can go ahead of me since you were already waiting.”

(Hearing this, another man in front of the little boy also speaks up.)

Man: “You can go ahead of me as well!”

(Every single customer in line proceeds to insist that I go ahead of them, including those who were originally ahead of me. I end up right at the counter, placing my purchase in front of the same cashier who tried to send me to the back.)

Cashier: “Look, lady, you can’t just—”

Me: “How about you just scan this through? It’s a busy season and I’m pretty sure neither of us has time for this.”

(He falls silent and quickly scans my purchase when I hear a familiar voice at the back of the line.)

Little Boy: “Ha!”

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Sticking It To The Miso-ji-stic

| Illinois, USA | Working | December 17, 2012

(A cashier at a video game store has been giving me a hard time for being a girl trying to buy several games, including using the phrase “get back in the kitchen.” My little brother, only 5 but incredibly smart, has been watching all this for over five minutes. He then interrupts me.)

Brother: *smiles innocently* “Hey mister, can I tell you something?”

Cashier: “Sure thing, kid.”

Brother: “You need to shut the f*** up and stop being a miso-ji-stic (misogynistic) a**butt who tells the local Mario Kart champion to go back in the kitchen, whatever that means! Check out the games before she blue-shells your a** to Chicago and back!”

Cashier: *turns red and shuts up*

(Speechless, the cashier checks out the games in record time while refusing to make eye contact with me. The cashier was gone a week later.)

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