RPG = Really Pretentious Gamer

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(It’s a slow day, and there are only two customers in the store. One of the customers, a friend of mine who’s 21, but looks like a high-schooler, comes to the counter with a copy of ‘Halo 4’.)

Friend: “I’d like to buy this, please.”

(Suddenly, the other customer, a guy in his mid-20s, runs up and attempts to rip the game out of my friend’s hands. My friend manages to leap back in time.)

Friend: “Hey, man! What is your problem?”

Customer: “What the f*** are you doing buying that s***? Little whiny b***y kids like you shouldn’t even be touching this!”

Friend: “I’m 21, and even then you could just say that, and not try to grab it from me!”

Customer: “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t be supporting Microsoft anyway! They’re fascist f***s ruining the industry with their generic frat boy s***! It’s a**-holes like you who only encourage them!”

Me: “Okay, that’s enough! If you’re going to continue insulting my friend or his gaming preferences, I’m going to ask you to leave the store.”

Customer: “Hmph! That a**-hole is no gamer! Real gamers play RPGs, not shallow generic First Person Shooters! I would’ve smashed that s*** and laughed in his face!”

(As he storms out, he gives one last parting shot.)

Customer: “When the second crash occurs, it’ll be on your hands!”

Playing Gameboys

| IL, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

(I am in my local video game store, picking up a copy of ‘Devil May Cry’. I am the only female in the store, and since I can’t see well enough to get a driver’s license, my father has driven me here. The store is really busy, so after plucking a copy from the shelf, I browse for a bit. A little boy approaches me.)

Boy: “Is that for your dad?”

Me: “No, this is for me.”

(The boy’s eyes widen in surprise.)

Boy: “You play video games?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Boy: “But you’re a GIRL!”

Me: “So? Girls play video games too, honey.”

Boy: “But you like girly games, right?”

Me: “Actually, no. I hate girly games. I prefer action games and action RPGs, like Devil May Cry, Castlevania, Final Fantasy, and Kingdom Hearts.”

(The little guy’s eyes widen so much that I’m expecting them to pop out of his head. He turns to face his mother.)

Boy: “Mom! Mom! There’s a girl that likes video games!”

(The mom hurriedly grabs her son, checks out their games, and practically runs from the store. As soon as the door shuts behind them, everyone inside cracks up.)

Store Clerk: *still laughing* “But you’re a GIRL!”

Playstation Meets Playboy

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology, Underaged

(It is just after the release of the video game ‘Playboy Mansion’. In Australia, there is surprisingly no required age limit for the game; it comes with a recommendation only for 18+. A customer approaches the counter with a small boy beside her. She is carrying a copy of the game.)

Me: “Good morning, just that today is it?”

(I indicate the game, and the customer nods.)

Customer: “Yup!”

Me: “I just have to check that you are purchasing this either for yourself, or someone who is over 18. Though there is no legal requirement to be over 18, I must warn it has graphic content and adult themes.”

Customer: “No, it’s for him, but it’ll be alright. He’s eight, but I’ve said it’s okay.”

Me: “I must warn you this game is entirely inappropriate for someone so young.”

(I detail the contents of the game. However, the customer doesn’t bat an eyelid.)

Customer: “It’s still okay. I’d like to buy it for him.”

(I cannot bring myself to cater to this customer, so the manager sells the game to her instead. The customer is about to leave, and I approach her.)

Me: “If you view the game and you’re unhappy, you can return it to us within 30 days for an exchange.”

(The customer is reasonably pleasant about this but keeps dismissing my concerns. The boy skips off happily with her. Two days later, she returns with the boy in tow again.)

Customer: “I’ve come to return this game; I need to get something better for him. It’s not right for him at all.”

Me: “Sure thing. I had a feeling you wouldn’t be happy with it once you saw the content of the game. Sometimes it’s hard to explain just how graphic some of these games can be.”

Customer: “Nah, the game was fine, but you should have warned us about how much reading he’d have to do. There’s far too much to read, and he’s only eight. His reading’s not that good yet. There really ought to be warning stickers for this sort of thing. Have you got anything easier?”