Little Console-ation In This Situation

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(Two customers stumble in the doors a bit drunk. They proceed to knock display cases off of a few shelves and even disrupt a display stand. It all seems to be accidental, so I let them be. My coworker just cleans up behind them. Finally, they come up to the counter.)

Customer #1: “Hey, we were looking to buy a Playstation 3, an Xbox, and an extra controller for each, and all new.”

Me: “Ooh, lots of games to catch up on, huh?”

Customer #2: “No, we’re just gonna—”

Customer #1: “DUDE! It’s a secret man; you can’t blow it!”

Customer #2: “OH DUDE! Sorry, man!”

(I’m a little confused, but I ring them up and see them off. An hour later, they come back in with the torn, destroyed boxes.)

Customer #1: “Hey man, these don’t work. We want our money back.”

Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Let me open everything up and see if I can figure out why they didn’t work.”

(The objects inside are CLEARLY not the systems I just sold them. They are older versions of each console, beaten up and broken. One is even missing the wires that come with it.)

Me: “These are not the ones I sold you. I couldn’t even take these as trade-in; they’re in terrible condition.”

Customer #2: “S***! AND WE ALREADY SOLD THE OTHER ONES TO—”

Customer #1: “Uh… well our new ones were just stolen from our car, actually. So we’d like a refund or like, a free game.”

Customer #2: “That’s not gonna WORK, man! We should just go, man. Before they call somebody!

Customer #1: “UH… Well we’re gonna file a report with the police and we’ll be RIGHT back!”

(They walk out the door, leaving me and my coworker stunned.)

Coworker: “There is no way that just happened…”

Me: “Is there a hidden camera here? This can’t be real life…”

Can’t Help Those Who Won’t Help Themselves

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology

(The entire network for my store and the stores in my district have gone down, preventing us from looking up customer accounts and values for electronic devices. A customer comes in to have an estimate for selling an iPhone.)

Customer: “How much can I get for this?”

Coworker: “Our system is down right now, so unfortunately we cannot look it up.”

Customer: “You can’t even try?”

Coworker: “Well, let’s give it a shot.”

(My coworker starts loading the screen, and the system only loads about halfway before failing.)

Coworker: “Since it’s still not working, I can give you the number of another store that does have their system functioning so they can give you an estimate.”

Customer: “So you mean I have to call them, and you can’t tell me here?”

Coworker: “We cannot.”

Customer: “Why not?”

(I have just clocked off, but decide to interject to help explain the situation.)

Me: “Our system is down, preventing us from looking up the estimate. However, this store can give you an estimate. Additionally, you can go onto our store website and find an estimate there.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me you can’t help me?”

Me: “Through our system we cannot, but I have provided you two alternatives to help you out.”

Customer: *starts leaving* “Dumb-a** b****, won’t even help me out and look it up for me.”

Another Customer: “Their system is down lady! Gosh, what is her problem?”

Grand Theft Promises

| Oxford, MS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I am a customer at a video game store, when a mother and her child, who can’t be more than seven, walk in.)

Kid: “I want these games, Mom!” *hands her several sports games*

Mom: “Okay, well, we’re gonna get them used because they’re cheaper.”

Kid: “I also want this game!” *hands her ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’*

Mom: “Well, here’s a used copy, so I guess it’s okay.”

Me: *quietly, so the kid doesn’t hear* “Ma’am, I hate to interrupt, but Grand Theft Auto isn’t a game for children. In that game, you can buy a hooker, beat her up with a baseball bat, and steal her money.”

Mom: “You can do what now? What’s this game about?”

Me: “It’s about stealing cars and killing people. It’s not a game for children.”

Mom: *to kid* “Hey! You promise you ain’t gonna do none o’ that?”

Kid: “YEAH!”

Mom: “Well, okay then!”