Grand Theft Innocence, Part 6

| Carlisle, England, UK | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Technology, Top, Underaged

(I am 21 years old, and a huge ‘Pokémon’ fan. I notice that my receipt for the new Pokémon game is wrong, so I go in to check what happened. At the counter next to me is a middle aged woman buying ‘Grand Theft Auto 5’ for her young son, who is no older than nine. The game is intended for 18-year-olds minimum.)

Me: “Excuse me; the deposit for the new Pokémon is £5, but I’ve been charged twice for it.”

Employee: “Oh, sorry, let me have a look.”

(I hand him the receipt, while the woman stares at me.)

Woman: “You’re a little old to be playing Pokémon aren’t you?”

Me: “And your son’s a little young to be playing Grand Theft Auto isn’t he?”

(The employees can’t help but laugh. The woman goes red faced.)

Woman: “That’s completely different.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m getting a game intended for kids and your kid is getting a game intended for adults.”

Woman: “Well he knows full well not to repeat anything they do in those games; he is a smart boy. Who do you think you are to judge me anyway?”

Me: “Lady… as far as I’m concerned, if my game purchases are your business then your game purchases are my business.”

Woman: “Well I just hope my boy is smart enough to know when it is time to grow up.”

Boy: “Yeah, f*** you!”

(The employees and I burst out laughing as the mother throws the game onto the counter and drags her son out of the shop with him screaming at her that he wants his ‘f****** game.’)

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 5
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence

Avoiding A Bioshock

| Dublin, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Technology

(A customer approaches the cash desk with a console in a box.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking to trade this in?”

Me: “Sure, let me just make sure it works!”

(I open the box, only to find the entire console, wires, and control pads are covered in heavy condensation. It’s so heavy, that there are drops of water pouring down the system.)

Me: “Umm …I don’t think I can plug this in to check it.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, it’s soaking wet. Generally speaking, it’s not a good idea to combine water and electricity.”

Customer: “Ah, it’s just a tiny bit of condensation. I had it in the car overnight; that’s why.”

Me: “I still don’t think it’s safe, sir.”

Customer: “Go ask your manager; he’ll tell you it’s fine!”

(I decide to humor him, and take the console out back to the manager.)

Me: “So I’ve got this customer for trade in, and he wants me to plug this thing in and check it.”

Manager: *not looking up* “So what’s the problem?”

Me: “I think you should have a look and see what the problem is!”

Manager: *looks at the console* “Is he for real?!”

(The manager picks up the console, and it almost slips out of his hands from the liquid on the surface. He heads out to the customer and deals with him.)

Manager: “We can’t accept this for trade in. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “Ah, why not!? It’s only a tiny bit of condensation; I don’t know what the problem is!”

Manager: “Well, if you’re happy to plug in electronics that are dripping with water, be my guest, but you’ll be a candidate for the Darwin Awards if you do. I’m not happy to risk the personal safety of my employees just for a trade in.”

(The customer looks at the console again.)

Customer: “And what if I come back in 10 minutes, and it’s dry?”

Manager: “I think that’d be something of a miracle, don’t you?”

Little Console-ation In This Situation

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(Two customers stumble in the doors a bit drunk. They proceed to knock display cases off of a few shelves and even disrupt a display stand. It all seems to be accidental, so I let them be. My coworker just cleans up behind them. Finally, they come up to the counter.)

Customer #1: “Hey, we were looking to buy a Playstation 3, an Xbox, and an extra controller for each, and all new.”

Me: “Ooh, lots of games to catch up on, huh?”

Customer #2: “No, we’re just gonna—”

Customer #1: “DUDE! It’s a secret man; you can’t blow it!”

Customer #2: “OH DUDE! Sorry, man!”

(I’m a little confused, but I ring them up and see them off. An hour later, they come back in with the torn, destroyed boxes.)

Customer #1: “Hey man, these don’t work. We want our money back.”

Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Let me open everything up and see if I can figure out why they didn’t work.”

(The objects inside are CLEARLY not the systems I just sold them. They are older versions of each console, beaten up and broken. One is even missing the wires that come with it.)

Me: “These are not the ones I sold you. I couldn’t even take these as trade-in; they’re in terrible condition.”

Customer #2: “S***! AND WE ALREADY SOLD THE OTHER ONES TO—”

Customer #1: “Uh… well our new ones were just stolen from our car, actually. So we’d like a refund or like, a free game.”

Customer #2: “That’s not gonna WORK, man! We should just go, man. Before they call somebody!

Customer #1: “UH… Well we’re gonna file a report with the police and we’ll be RIGHT back!”

(They walk out the door, leaving me and my coworker stunned.)

Coworker: “There is no way that just happened…”

Me: “Is there a hidden camera here? This can’t be real life…”