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Give Him Free P&P For A Brain

| UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(A couple of customers walk into the store:)

Customer #1: “Hey, they have that Star Wars Expansion you want but is never available on-line!”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Customer #1: “Same price.”

(The second looks thoughtful for a moment…)

Customer #2: “Yeah, but it’s free P&P on-line…”

(He didn’t buy it.)

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These Items Are Literally A Steal

| KY, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(The pawn laws in my county require that any item sold to our store must be held for ten days before it can be sold, to make sure it isn’t stolen. To cover ourselves, we hold everything for two weeks. Even though we abide by pawn laws, we work on a more consignment-style basis, meaning that once you sell your items, you cannot get them back.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Man: *already annoyed, but understandably so* “Yes, I recently had items stolen from me. I have filed a police report, I know who stole them, and I know that they were sold to you. Can I get my items back?”

Me: “I’m really sorry that happened to you. But yes, you’ve done everything that we needed you to do, so we can totally get those things back to you. You will have to come in with the officer who’s been working on your case, but it’ll be no problem.”

Man: *sighs* “Well, can you at least gather my things together so that they’ll be ready when I get there?”

Me: “Of course. Just let me know the name of the person who sold them, and when they were sold to us, and I’ll set them aside with your name on them.”

Man: “His name was [Name] and he sold them at the beginning of June. Around the third.”

Me: “Ohh… well, it’s the end of July. We hold everything for two weeks before we put it out on the floor to sell. I’m happy to go and find anything that is left, but there’s a possibility that your things have already been sold, since they’ve been here for almost two months.”

Man: “Well, how do I go about getting those things back?”

Me: “I mean, you can’t. They’ve been sold to people.”

(He then proceeded to yell at me, telling me the policies of my store, which I tried to explain to him, but he just told me again what kind of store I work in and then tells me to “f*** off,” at which point I hung up. Maybe you should have less sketchy friends?)

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Retail Makes You Unbreakable

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Money

(The video game store in the mall I work at isn’t very big and we usually only have two people working at any given time. Since it is slow I decide to take my lunch break and am sitting in the back room eating when a customer slaps open the door to the backroom that is clearly marked “Employees Only”.)

Customer: “Hey! Can I get some help out here?”

(I’m immediately annoyed that he came in our back room and that he’s asking for help while I’m off the clock, but I figure that if he was desperate enough to do that, the sales floor must have gotten extremely busy while I was eating, and decide that I don’t want to leave my coworker stranded with all those customers. So I offer to help and come out to the sales floor. When I get out there I see that there is actually only one other customer in the store, whom my coworker is busy helping. But still, I manage to keep a smile on as I follow Customer to our video game accessories section.)

Customer: “Yeah, I wanted to know how much this controller is.”

(I point to the clearly marked price on the front of the package.)

Me: “It’s $49.99.”

(The customer points a thumb in the general direction of my coworker.)

Customer: “Yeah, that’s what he said when I asked him.”

Me: “You asked him too?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I didn’t believe him.”

(Losing my patience now.)

Me: “Well, the price on the price tag is the actual price.”

Customer: *disbelievingly* “Okay….”

(I turned around and went right back to the back room and my lunch. The real kicker? The controller he was asking about was a name brand controller which has the prices set by the video game company that makes them, so they are the same price at pretty much every store that sells them!)

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