Your Enemy Is Known

| WV, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(We often have video games out for testing. A game called ‘XCOM: Enemy Unknown’ has recently been released and we have it out for testing. I have my own personal save file on the hard drive, and a different memory unit for patrons. There is a large sign on the console that no patrons are to use the hard drive. One day, I glance up, and noticed a patron playing ‘XCOM’. As I watch him, I noticed that he is playing on my save file. I walk over to him.)

Me: “Sir, that is an employee save file. Could you please exit to the menu and use a customer file?”

(As I am saying this, the patron continues to play the game.)

Me: “Sir, do you hear me? Please exit to the menu.”

(He looks at me, but continues to play.)

Patron: “Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.”

(He continues playing. He moves one of my soldiers into a very bad position.)

Me: *urgently* “Sir, you really need to exit to the menu.”

(The game moves into the alien’s turn. It is now impossible to exit. One of the aliens shoots, and kills, the soldier that the patron moved into a vulnerable position. The patron then exits the game and goes to the menu. A few days later, the same patron comes back into the store, and walks up to me.)

Patron: “Hi, I’d like to purchase XCOM, please.”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $50. Oh, you know, by the way, Wednesday? When you were playing XCOM on the display TV? You killed my best soldier.”

(‘XCOM’ features ‘permadeath,’ meaning that if a soldier dies, they are dead for the rest of the game.)

Patron: “What? No, I didn’t.”

Me: “Yeah, you did. When you were playing on my file, that girl that you moved to where she was being flanked, and she got killed, she was my best soldier.”

Patron: “And she’s dead?”

Me: “Yeah, she’s dead.”

Patron: “Well, sorry about that. How is she now?”

Me: “SHE’S DEAD.”

A Real Stickler For That Sticker

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Liars & Scammers

(It is a rather busy day just after the holidays, and about two days after a bunch of our sales ended. A woman calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. how may I help you?”

Customer: *already irate* “I was in there earlier with my son and we bought a game and I took off the price sticker and there is a cheaper price sticker underneath!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we had some sales that ended a few days ago. The price sticker on top that is displayed is the current price and is correct.”

Customer: “This hidden price sticker is significantly cheaper! That is false advertising!”

Me: “No, it isn’t false advertising since it was the one covered up and therefore not being advertised. The old cheaper price ended.”

Customer: “You need to charge me for the cheaper price! This is false advertising! I’m contacting your corporate office! *hangs up*

(Two minutes later she calls back:)

Customer: “Are you the manager?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well I just spoke with another store manager and they said you should honor that price!”

Me: “I did honor the price displayed, ma’am. You told me you took the price sticker that was displayed off to reveal one that was not displayed. I charged you according to the correct, accurately displayed price.”

Customer: “Well, you need to take the old ones off because this is false advertising!”

Me: *now trying my best to stay calm and get it over with* “Duly noted.”

Customer: “Yes, you need to do that because if I had just looked closer than I would have taken the sticker off and made you charge me the lower price!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s fraud. You would be lying to the store and cheating your way to sales.”

Customer: “I’m contacting your corporate office!” *hangs up*

Drastic Plastic

| UK | Crazy Requests

(It is my first day as a sales assistant in a video game store. I’m tidying the store when a woman walks over to me holding a Disney Infinity figure.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is this made of?”

Me: “Um… I think it’s plastic?”

(The customer stares at me as if waiting for a different answer.)

Me: “You know what? I’ll check with my manager.”

(I walk over to my manager and, obviously looking completely bewildered, tell him what the customer just asked. He looks just as confused as I am.)

Manager: “Yeah… It’s plastic.”

Me: “That’s what I said.”

(I head back to the customer and give her the same answer as last time. She looks absolutely devastated.)

Customer: “Oh… I’m sorry…”

(She puts the figure back. And hurriedly leaves. My manager comes over looking bamboozled.)

Manager: “What was she hoping for?”

Me: “I don’t know. Hand carved from the finest ivory by tiny woodland pixies?”

Ducking Out Of The Guilt Trip

| Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I’m in line at the register behind a woman who is carrying a baby on her hip and has a young boy who is exchanging his old video games for store credit. The cashier, who is a young woman around my age, has a small clip in her hair that looks like a little rubber duck.)

Woman: *pointing at the hair clip* “Oooh! It’s a ducky! It’s a ducky! Do you see the ducky?”

Baby: *the baby is too young to talk, but sees where she’s pointing and smiles and babbles happily*

Woman: “Awww, you love duckies! Duckies are your favourite, aren’t they? I bet you wish you had that ducky! Do you want that ducky?”

(This goes on for an increasingly uncomfortable length of time. The cashier keeps inspecting the games being traded in and doesn’t react other than to give a polite smile and laugh, while the woman keeps pointing at the hair clip and essentially goading her baby.)

Woman: “Aww, you don’t have the ducky! I bet you want that ducky! Poor baby loves duckies!”

(The baby, who was previously behaving perfectly, is clearly starting to get confused and upset. It begins to cry. Meanwhile, the cashier has finished with the transaction.)

Woman: “Oh, oh! I guess we have to say goodbye to the ducky! But you love duckies, don’t you? I guess it’s too bad! You have to leave the ducky! It’s so sad!”

Little Boy: *looking embarrassed* “C’mon, Mom, I’m done.”

(The woman stands there for a moment longer, staring at the silent cashier who is still smiling politely, then throws up her free hand in disgust, and turns and storms out with her boy and crying baby, muttering loudly about how “unbelievable some people are.” The cashier gives me a disbelieving look.)

Me: “Was she seriously trying to guilt you into giving your hair clip to some random stranger?”

Cashier: “I don’t even know. I’m just so tired.”

(I just felt sorry for the little boy who was clearly embarrassed by his mother’s behaviour, and the poor little baby who had no idea what was happening and being deliberately upset by its own mother.)

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The Falling Price Of Decency

| AK, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a new and used video game store. The old corporate phone number had at some point been changed or disconnected and has since been picked up by some adult hotline.

I make an offer to a customer on a video game that the customer doesn’t agree with, so he declines and says he will take his game to the competitor down the street. While he is gone, the store owner runs an update in their system that updates some game prices and values. About a half-an-hour or so later, the same customer returns and approaches my coworker who is starting his first day.)

Customer: “Hi. I was here a little while ago and your store is offering me more than [Competitor] so I would like to take you up on the offer.”

Coworker: *scans the game, which due to the update, now is worth half as much as when the man first arrived*

(The customer is predictably angry and proceeds to argue with the new employee. He becomes increasingly aggressive until I step in.)

Me: “Is there a problem I can help with?”

Customer: “YEAH! You offered me 28 dollars earlier and now this guy only wants to offer me 10 dollars!”

Me: “Sir, there is no need to speak to my new hire this way and I’ll be happy to assist you. I was the one you spoke with earlier, but we updated our systems after you had left. You did not want our first offer, but now that the update has taken place, this is what we can offer you.”

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “I am a manager at this store.”

Customer: No, I want the manager’s phone number! Their personal cell number!”

Me: “You want their personal number?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Very well” *gives my own number*

Customer: “I’m gonna go call right now!” *leaves for car*

(The coworker is looking nervous at this point and sure enough my phone rings and I answer. After a brief exchange the doors fly open again and in walks the customer.)

Customer:” You think you’re real funny don’t you, you little punk?!”

Me: “Sir, I tried to tell you.”

Customer: “Well, now I want your corporate number. Prepare to be fired, you little s***!”

Me: “Sir, there is no corporate number. Just the store owner. We carry the [Store] title but we are independently…”

Customer: “No more of your bull-c**p! I want that number right now! Prepare for unemployment!”

Me: “Very well.” *coworker’s eyes widen to panic as I give the customer a card with the old corporate number*

Customer: “Thank you! You just wait!” *goes back to car*

(My coworker is frantically asking me why I did that and I patiently wait until the customer returns yet again.)

Customer: “I JUST GOT CHARGED 25 DOLLARS FOR SOME PORN NUMBER! WHERE IS THE OWNER!?”

Me: “Oh, she will be by around 6:30.”

Customer: “She had better be because I’m waiting right outside until she does!”

(Sure enough 6:30 rolls around and the customer is outside when the owner arrives. She has already been filled in and watched the video/audio footage of what happened. The customer comes in and begins to tell his story to which she interrupts.)

Owner: “I’ve seen the whole thing. You were made an offer you didn’t like and decided to go to the competitor. After we ran the updates, you returned and bullied my new hire. My employee tried to tell you the corporate number was no good but you were having none of it. I would like for you to leave now before I call the police.”

(The customer became enraged and began cursing and yelling at the owner before acting like he was getting ready to tower over her. She then pulled out pepper spray and gave him a final warning before he finally left, grumbling angrily.)

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