(I’m a cook in a restaurant that many tourists visit.)
Me: *to waitress* “So, how did everyone like their food?”
Waitress: “The table complained that the meal contains too much sauce.”
Me: “His order gets the sauce on the side.”
Waitress: “Yeah, he complained that he added too much.”
This story is part of the complaining customer roundup!
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Read the complaining customer roundup!
(I work in the IT department, on part of the university’s website.)
Customer: “Can you help me? I tried to print out this webpage, and none of the images showed up!”
Me: “Sounds like it might be a problem with your printer.”
Customer: “Is it because the images are stuck inside the Internet and the printer can’t get them out?”
This story is part of the Technologically-Challenged roundup!
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Read the Technologically-Challenged roundup!
(We are a plant nursery trying to reduce the amount of plastic bags we give out.)
Me: “Do you need a bag with that? We can give you a reusable plastic car boot liner or newspaper.”
Customer: “No bag. I’m trying to save the trees and the planet.”
Me: “Okay.”
Customer: *short pause* “Have you got a sheet of plastic I can use instead? Like the car boot liner, but with handles?”
Me: “What, like a plastic bag?”
Customer: “Perfect!”
Did you find this story on our World Environment Day roundup?
Me: “Hello, how are you?”
Customer: “What country are you from?”
Me: “England.”
Customer: “Oh, no wonder you don’t speak English properly.”
This story is part of the Bad With English roundup!
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Read the Bad With English roundup!
Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have those movies on circles?”
Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”
Customer: “Yes, that’s it, VDVs. Do you have those?”
Me: “Yes, right over here.”
(I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).
Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”
Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”
Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”
(I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).
Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee. I finally got a VD!”
This story is part of our Old People & Technology roundup.
