(I’m a 21-year-old girl at work and feeling a bit sad, having broken up with my long-term boyfriend earlier in the week. One of our regular customers, who is 24, is standing around talking to me and my female coworker. Another regular customer, a lovely elderly German man who we call ‘Dante’ because of his favourite game, comes in shortly afterwards.)

Me: *to Dante* “Hello! How’s Dante’s Inferno going?”

Dante: “Oh, it’s just great! I love it. But I’ve been playing some other games lately…”

(He goes on to tell us what he’s been up to. The young customer joins the conversation, too. Once Dante has finished telling us what games he’s playing, he turns to the young customer.)

Dante: “So, why do you hang around here, young man? I hope you’re not troubling these lovely girls.”

Young Customer: “Nah, I just hang around and talk, really.”

Dante: “Ahh, I see. You like one of these girls, huh? I know you do!”

Young Customer: *laughs and turns red* “How do you know that?”

Dante: “Well, if you come in every day just to chat, you must not have a girlfriend.” *turns to me* “Darling, are you single?”

Me: “Umm, yeah. I am.”

Dante: “You two should get together! You’re nice and he’s nice…” *turns back to the young customer* “…and you’d get free games!”

Young Customer: “Oh, I dunno. She probably wouldn’t give me free games.”

Dante: “Yes, she would! You’d be her boyfriend. She’d have to!” *turns to me and steps closer, talking softly in my ear* “Just think about it, yes? He’s a good boy. He’d be lucky to have a girl like you!”

Me: *grinning ear-to-ear* “Thanks, I’ll think about it!”

(Two months later, I realised how much of a ‘good boy’ the young customer really was, and it turned out that he’d had a crush on me for a while. We’ve been seeing each other for 8 months now, and a few weeks ago I ran into Dante at a local coffee shop. When I told him he’d been right about us, he was over the moon!)

(I am standing in line at a bookstore. The customer in front of me is getting rung through. She’s about forty-five, and the cashier is maybe nineteen.)

Customer: “Have you read these?” *holds up 50 Shades Darker*

Cashier: “Oh… no.”

Customer: “Oh, you MUST! They’re amazing!”

Cashier: “So I hear.”

Customer: *puts the book to her chest* “Oh, they’re just amazing!”

Cashier: “Uh huh.”

(The customer proceeds to go on and on about how sexy and scandalous the books are. The cashier is doing her very best to ignore her and just ring her through.)

Customer: *after paying* “Oh, thank you very much! One more thing: do you know where I can buy some batteries?”

(I have been getting coffee at the same place every morning for about a year. I’m friendly with the barista, and he knows what I drink without asking, but we’ve never had any in-depth conversation.)

Barista: “Hey, were you in [Local Bar] last night?”

Me: “No, why?”

Barista: “I thought I saw you and I was calling out to you! Well, I guess I must have scared the crap out of another woman.” *laughs*

Me: “But I’ve never told you my name. What were you calling out?”

Barista: “MEDIUM SOY!”

(This takes place at a stand-alone stall in the middle of a mall. A salesman stops me as I walk past.)

Salesman: “Hey, we have a great offer today on mineral makeup!”

Me: “Oh… uh, no, thank you.”

Salesman: “You can’t pass it up! We’re offering a buy one get one free deal on all our foundation powders.”

Me: “Ah, no thanks. I don’t wear much make up.”

Salesman: “Yeah, well maybe you should!”

(My hair is naturally a rather unusual color of red that naturally highlights due to a melanin imbalance. I am a male. A few months ago, I shaved my head for charity. A male customer comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Oh, my, you have such wonderful hair. May I touch it?”

Me: *laughing* “I hear that a lot. You should have seen it when I had it down to here…”

(I indicate my hip where my hair used to reach.)

Me: “I had to shave it all off, though.”

Customer: “Where I am from in Spain, it is very common for people to shave their bodies. No need to be ashamed!”

Me: “Oh, no… no! I mean my head hair went down to there.”

Customer: “Oh! It must have been beautiful! Still, you should consider shaving your body! Everybody on the beach likes it.” *winks at me and walks out*

This story is part of our Spain-themed roundup!

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