Not Getting The Picture

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2010

(I work in the IT department, on part of the university’s website.)

Customer: “Can you help me? I tried to print out this webpage, and none of the images showed up!”

Me: “Sounds like it might be a problem with your printer.”

Customer: “Is it because the images are stuck inside the Internet and the printer can’t get them out?”

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An Inconvenient Car Boot

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2010

(We are a plant nursery trying to reduce the amount of plastic bags we give out.)

Me: “Do you need a bag with that? We can give you a reusable plastic car boot liner or newspaper.”

Customer: “No bag. I’m trying to save the trees and the planet.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: *short pause* “Have you got a sheet of plastic I can use instead? Like the car boot liner, but with handles?”

Me: “What, like a plastic bag?”

Customer: “Perfect!”


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English Is Going Down (Under)

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2010

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Customer: “What country are you from?”

Me: “England.”

Customer: “Oh, no wonder you don’t speak English properly.”

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Learn Your Acronyms ASAP

, , , , , | Right | May 25, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have those movies on circles?”

Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it, VDVs. Do you have those?”

Me: “Yes, right over here.”

(I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).

Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”

Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”

Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”

(I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).

Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee. I finally got a VD!”


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Driving On The Blind Side Of Caution

, , , | Right | April 9, 2010

(A couple comes up to me and points to the traffic intersection just outside the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is that strange beeping sound that is happening when the lights change?”

Me: “Oh, that is the audio signal system to let blind or visually impaired people know when to cross the street. Each way has its own sound.”

Customer’s Wife: “You let your blind people drive?!”

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