English Is Going Down (Under)

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2010

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Customer: “What country are you from?”

Me: “England.”

Customer: “Oh, no wonder you don’t speak English properly.”

1 Thumbs
2,756

Learn Your Acronyms ASAP

, , , , , | Right | May 25, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have those movies on circles?”

Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it, VDVs. Do you have those?”

Me: “Yes, right over here.”

(I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).

Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”

Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”

Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”

(I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).

Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee. I finally got a VD!”


This story is part of our Old People & Technology roundup.

Click here to go to the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

1 Thumbs
3,104

Driving On The Blind Side Of Caution

, , , | Right | April 9, 2010

(A couple comes up to me and points to the traffic intersection just outside the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is that strange beeping sound that is happening when the lights change?”

Me: “Oh, that is the audio signal system to let blind or visually impaired people know when to cross the street. Each way has its own sound.”

Customer’s Wife: “You let your blind people drive?!”

1 Thumbs
2,303

They Really Should Call Them Help(less) Lines

, , , | Right | March 19, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cell Phone Service Provider]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My cable TV isn’t working.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re a cell phone company.”

Customer: “I know, but I thought that you people would be able to help me with that anyway.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can only assist you with your cell phone service.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes. I’m sorry, but we’re only trained to deal with phones. We don’t know anything at all about cable TV.”

Customer: “Oh, then who should I call?”

Me: “Do you have your cable bill with you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Is there a 1-800 number on it?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You need to call that number.”

Customer: “Oh. Thank you!”

1 Thumbs
1,953

Seriously Bad Hair Day

, , , , | Right | March 11, 2010

(It’s 10 pm. We are in the final motions of locking up: registers closed and lights off. I’m just locking the door.)

Customer: *runs up in a panic* “Oh, no! You are closed? It’s an emergency! I really need to buy one thing!”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed. Maybe you could come back in the morning.”

Customer: “No! I can’t wait that long-this is an emergency! Please help me!”

Me: “Okay, I suppose I can help you quickly for an emergency. Do you need antibiotics or paracetamol or something?”

Customer: “I need a packet of hair pins!”

1 Thumbs
2,124