This occurred when I was five and starting my first day of primary school. For a bit of background, my single mother had just moved to Melbourne with me and my older brother after living in a few semi-rural towns. As a result, I was pretty independent due to being allowed to explore all throughout the day (with boundaries and rules). This was the first time I had lived in a capital city. Additionally, the last town we were in had a wonderful kindergarten that was very similar to a classroom setting, so I was already pretty familiar with what school would entail.

My mother drove into the school parking lot where we could see, up a hill, all the parents and kids in a waiting area in front of the classroom; the school had individual buildings for classrooms instead of one large building. Knowing what I’m like and what I was used to, she pointed to it and said that was where I needed to go. She didn’t even pull into a parking spot; I just hopped out of the car, grabbed my bag, said bye, and went up there.

I remember standing around, seeing all these crying parents and children, and not getting what the big fuss was all about. I was more confused about why we were all just standing around and not getting started, and why all the parents were around. I don’t recall any parents approaching me, but I wonder what they thought seeing this one girl on her own looking bored while they’re trying to ready their children.

After a while, I turned my head and was incredibly surprised to see my mum standing there! I was so shocked and said, “What are you doing here?!” and she, apparently not quite getting what the big fuss what about, either, said, “Well, I saw all the other parents up here and thought I should come up here, as well.”

And while I still didn’t get what the big deal was, I was happy I got to spend a bit more time with my mum before school started. When I brought this up to her recently in my mid-20s, she said she forgot she even came up and thought she just dropped me off until I reminded her.

(My mum and I are heading out of a large shopping centre when we walk past a small store that specialises in vacuum and steam cleaners. Something in the display window appears to catch her eye and she excitedly scuttles in. I trudge in after her, slightly confused, as my mum isn’t usually an impulse buyer and as far as I’d known she had no plans of purchasing any sort of vacuum or mop. She quickly catches the attention of the only employee working the shop floor: a young, eager fellow who seems to be in his twenties:)

Mum: “Excuse me. I’m interested in this vacuum here; how does it work?”

Employee: “Ah, this is a great choice and you would save a lot with the sale we have on today. This is an all-in-one cleaner; it has a vacuum function and it can also steam clean…”

(He goes into a short spiel about the product’s specifications.)

Mum: “How wonderful! Could you show me how it works?”

(The employee then takes the display product, plugs it in, and starts steam cleaning the floor in front of her. My mum asks a lot of questions, and the employee dutifully shows her how to use all the toggles and explains everything to her in detail.)

Mum: *eagerly* “That’s amazing. Yes, I’m very interested in purchasing it. Could you please show me how to assemble a new one?”

Employee: *after a slight hesitation* “Ah… Of course, ma’am. One moment.”

(He grabs a box off the shelf, opens it, takes out all the pieces, and shows her how everything is put together. It’s clear he is expecting to make a big sale, and from the way he is using his best salesperson tactics, he probably also earns a commission.)

Mum: “Ah, I see, I see. Thank you so much!”

Employee: “No problem, ma’am.” *takes everything apart and packs it back into the box* “Shall I go ring it up?”

(My mum, who up until this point has been nothing short of enthusiastic, suddenly seems no longer interested in making a purchase.)

Mum: *waving her hand dismissively* “Oh… Oh, no, that’s fine. Maybe tomorrow.”

(I am almost as surprised by this sudden change in demeanor as the poor employee is; he cannot hide his shock.)

Employee: “But… ma’am, today is the last day of the sale.” *points to the sale sign which proves his word* “If you come back tomorrow, it’ll go back up to [amount]!” 

Mum: *smiling politely, but already heading out the door* “Oh, that’s fine. Some other time maybe.”

(I know that if my mum wants something, she can NEVER resist a sale, so I am utterly confused myself. I shoot the employee an apologetic smile and follow my mum out of the shop. We continue our way out of the shopping centre.)

Me: “What the h*** was that all about? Weren’t you interested in that vacuum cleaner? If you come back some other time, the price will go up, like that guy said. Why didn’t you buy it?”

Mum: *smirking* “Oh, I already have one.”

Me: “What?”

Mum: “That vacuum cleaner!” *practically giggling* “I just got one as a gift yesterday from a friend, but I didn’t know how to use it. I didn’t want to have to look at the instructions. Now I know!” *giggles some more* 

Me: *shocked* “But… he opened a new box for you and everything!”

Mum: “I know! I got a free demonstration!” *laughing her head off*

Me: *speechless*

(I always felt bad for that employee, who wasted at least twenty minutes of his time on my mum on the expectation that he was going to make a big sale. My mum never did see anything wrong with getting the poor man’s hopes up.)

Related:
The Mother Of All Bad Customers

(I work the late shift — four hours by myself until 10:00 pm.)

Customer: “I want a meatball sub on wheat.”

Me: “Sure!”

(I begin placing the meatballs on the sub two or three at a time with sauce in the crease of the bread, as per my training.)

Me: “What kind of cheese?”

Customer: “Provolone.”

Me: “Toasted?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Veggies?”

Customer: “You did it wrong.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Are you stupid? Make it again.”

(I throw the sandwich away and start over. Thinking there might be too much sauce, I put the meatballs on the same way but with less sauce.)

Customer: “NO! What the h*** are you doing?!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I assumed you meant the sauce.”

Customer: “Have you ever made a sandwich in your life?! NOT. LIKE. THAT!”

Me: “What would you like me to do differently, sir?”

Customer: “If you don’t know, then you’re an idiot.”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Just make it again.”

(He seems to calm down a little and I finish the sandwich for the third time and wrap it up, and he pays and leaves. This happens about five minutes later:)

Customer: *runs into the store, sandwich unwrapped, and propels it across the counter, screaming incoherently*

Me: *covered in marinara sauce* “Seriously?”

Customer: *runs out of store saying something about putting meatballs on the wrong side of the bread*

(Ever since my father retired, he’s been spending the winter months in Mexico. Around October, he comes around for dinner before leaving on his yearly trip. This year he asks me if I have any books I could lend him, so I hand over the first trilogy from my favourite author, plus a hardcover graphic novel I got for Christmas the year before.)

Me: “I know it’s a comic, but it’s really good, and I think you’ll like it. I lent it to Mom, and she loved it, too. [Best Friend] gave it to me, and she said she saw this–” *pointing to a quote on the cover that says something along the lines of “the best graphic novel I have read in years”* “–and she thought, ‘Well, at least someone likes it…’. I don’t know if you know who Neil Gaiman is, but that is high praise. This is a really good book.”

Dad: “Okay, I’ll give it a shot.”

(About six months later, my dad comes back to the country and stops by my place on the way to a friend’s. I’m not home, so he tosses a bag of books through my open window and texts me, “I dropped off your books, and a couple big ones I think you’ll enjoy!” A few days later, he drops by for dinner.)

Dad: “Hey, did you like those books I dropped off?”

Me: “Yeah, but you said there were two new ones, and all I saw was this one.” *holds up a really thick sci-fi book*

Dad: “No, there were two big ones I dropped off.”

Me: “But the only other big one was this.” *holds up the graphic novel*

Dad: “Yeah, that one! I thought you’d love it!”

Me: *glancing between him and the book* “…but this is mine.”

Dad: “Well, maybe you have a copy of it, but I found it and thought you’d love it!”

Me: “No, Dad, I gave this to you at the same time I gave you that trilogy. [Best Friend] gave this to me. Remember when I was talking about the Neil Gaiman quote?”

Dad: “Oh… well… I guess there was a reason I knew you’d like it!” *laughs*

(To his credit, I did quite enjoy the sci-fi book that actually was new to me. I then lent him all of the books I had for my favourite author’s next series, and when he returned them to me he was almost as disappointed as I was about the three-year wait for the final one to come out. Fortunately for me, I only have another couple of months to go, but unfortunately for him, he’ll have been in Mexico for a few weeks by then and will have to wait until his return before reading it.)

(I need one of my car headlights changed, so I pop into the nearest auto parts store to get them to do it for me. As I enter the shop, I take note of the many promo banners hanging from the ceiling, stating that if you sign up online using your email address for a store loyalty account you’ll get 10% off your next purchase. I quickly pull out my phone, sign up on their website, and then approach the counter. It should be noted that there are no codes or barcodes in the email I receive that would need to be surrendered; it’s just a generic “show this email in the store for 10% off” email.)

Me: *ready to pay, but before any services have been rendered* “I have this email here for 10% off, too, please!”

Worker: *looks at me like I’m stupid* “You can’t use that. You have to print it out and show it to us on paper.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I assumed because all these signs say to sign up online and on the spot, I could just show you the email? The email says to present it in the store; it doesn’t mention printing it.” 

Worker: “No, you have to print the email. You can’t just show the email.” *calls a manager over* “She wants to get the discount without printing the email.”

Manager: *also looking at me like I’m daft* “Okay… How about you forward us that email, and we’ll print it out ourselves?”

(I understood that perhaps they just wanted some physical evidence to balance their register, so I forwarded the email while the manager went out the back to retrieve it. And then, I waited. And waited. I waited for ten minutes while nothing happened and no one acknowledged me further, even though I was still standing at the register. Eventually, I walked out of the store and headed to the next nearest shop, whose staff were a breath of fresh air and went above and beyond to help me. They have earned my loyalty for good even without any discount offers!)

Related:
Email Fail, Part 23
Email Fail, Part 22
Email Fail, Part 21