Making A Baby Hurts Way Before You’re Making A Baby

, , , , , | Learning | August 30, 2018

Lecturer: “Kip Keino ran with gallstones, arguably the second most painful experience in the world. Who can guess the first?”

The Answer: “Childbirth.”

My Answer: “MENSTRUAL CRAMPS!”

A Crippling Case Of Discrimination

, , , , , , | Working | August 29, 2018

(I have just returned part-time to the store where I used to be an assistant manager. The assistant manager who replaced me transferred from a different store. I left after a car accident had left me a paraplegic. I can do everything apart from cashier and stocking. Because of my injury being incomplete, I suffer from muscle spasms and nerve pain. On a bad day, I can’t even get out of bed, let alone sit in my wheelchair. I’ve been told to call in sick as soon as I can and there won’t be a problem. The new assistant manager knows this. This happens the first time I have to call in:)

Me: *slightly slurred speech due to medication* “Hi, its [My Name]. I’m sorry but I can’t come in today.”

Assistant Manager: “What? Just because you’re hungover, that’s no excuse to not come in. You better be here, otherwise you’re fired.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not hungover. I’m in extreme pain and I’m having such severe muscle spasms that my legs are locked up stiff as boards. If you have a problem, talk to [Store Manager].”

(I hang up on her and call my store manager and explain. I’m told not to worry, just rest and get better. The assistant manager is given a verbal warning. The next shift I work is with the same assistant manager.)

Assistant Manager: “[My Name], I need you on register three.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, but I can’t work a register. It’s too high up.”

Assistant Manager: “God. Fine. I need you to stock [department].”

Me: “I can’t. It’s not safe.”

Assistant Manager: “What? Why the f*** not?”

Me: “Because most of the shelves are too high up for me to reach, and it would require too much bending.”

(There are plenty of other duties I can do; I’m specially trained in the photo lab and electronics department, as a door greeter, at the customer service desk, etc.)

Assistant Manager: “Well, what f****** use are you, then? I don’t understand why they’d even hire a [disabled slur] in the first place! First, you call in still drunk and give some bulls*** excuse, and then you say you can’t do anything. You’re f****** useless!”

(She says this in front of other coworkers who I have worked with before. By now I’m in tears.)

Coworker: “You can’t talk to her like that. [My Name], go to the staff room and calm down. You can work in the lab and I’ll do the register.”

Assistant Manager: “What? No. I’ve told her where she’s working. If she ‘can’t’ do it, she can go home and not bother coming back. And as for you—” *points to coworker* “—you can count this as your first warning, for talking back.”

Me: “You know what? You’re a b****. If I have to work with you, I quit. But I will be talking to [Store Manager], and you can expect to hear from my lawyer for discrimination.”

(I ignore the assistant manager and head back to the staff room, grab my bag, and head home. The store manager rings me ten minutes after I get home.)

Store Manager: “Hey, I’m sorry to do this but [Assistant Manager] said she fired you after she caught you stealing from the staff room.”

Me: “What? That’s bulls***. Don’t take my word for it, but you need to talk to [Coworkers #1, #2, or #3].”

Store Manager: “I don’t believe her. Don’t worry. I’ll sort it out and call you tomorrow.”

(The assistant manager was fired for not only discrimination, but it turns out she was stealing merchandise and money from tills, as well. I also found out from a mutual friend the reason she didn’t like me was because her son had applied for a job at the same time I came back and she blamed me for him not getting it.)

Unfiltered Story #119039

, , | Unfiltered | August 26, 2018

(I was at a supermarket with my boyfriend, picking up some food for a Valentines day picnic. As I’m in the fruit section, a woman walks past. She starts talking, but I didn’t know it was directed to me. Note: I have a slightly larger belly than most girls and I’m 16, my boyfriend is 17, although he looks about 24)

Woman: Hey, you!

(I keep looking at fruit)

Woman: “Didn’t you here me?)

(I keep shopping, thinking she is talking to someone else)

Woman: *grabs my shoulder* “IM TALKING TO YOU, YOU LITTLE IGNORANT B****!”

Me: “Oh I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware you were talking to me”

Woman: “OH DONT GIVE ME THAT B*******, YOH LITTLE B****, HOW DARE YOU!”

Me: “Im sorry, ma’am, what do you need help with?”

Woman: “Do you have someone here with you?”

Me: “um, yes. My boyfriend.”

(Speaking of which, my boyfriend walks around the corner)

Boyfriend: “I got the ham and bread”

Woman: “Is this him?”

Me: “yes”

Woman: “YOU DISGUSTING S***”

Boyfriend “what’s going on?”

Woman:”How dare you do that to such a young girl? Getting getting her pregnant! A 25 year old you a young girl! You should be ashamed! People like you two disgust me and are the reason the world is on its downfall!”

Me: “Wait, WHAT? I’m not pregnant, I’m just a little bit big around the stomach! And he’s 17, not 25.”

Woman: “Oh don’t give me that s***, you little c*** s***. Stop lying to me! Look! You even have baby food in your basket!” (She points to the dip)

Boyfriend:” that’s dip… For the biscuits”

(A manger, who happens to be good friends with my dad, walks over)

Manager:” what seems to be the problem?”

Woman:”Throw this s*** and this pervert out of your store! These two are disgraceful!”

Manager:” ma’am, this lovely young lady happens to be my friends daughter. I know her and she is not what you are implying. She is too lovely to do that sort of thing. I’ve watched this girl grow up and she is not a disgraceful kind of person. Now please stop bothering them. Danni, Jacob, you keep on shopping, I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow.”

(The woman throws a punch at the manager, and hits him right in the jaw.)

Woman:” F*** you! How dare you support such discussing people!”

Manager:” Ma’am, I strongly advise that you leave the store this minute, or I will have to call the cops, and as you know, the station is right down the street, so you won’t get much time to run”

(The woman runs through the store, knocking over displays and pulling things off of shelves. I call the cops, along with the manager, and they get here in less than 45 seconds. The woman was arrested, and an officer asked us what had happened. We told him the story, and how she started ranting and knocking thing off of shelves. She was takes to the station, screaming “THAT S****Y LITTLE B**** SHOULD GO TO REHAB WITH THAT PERVERT. THAT BABY SHOULD NOT BE BORN!” If I ever so have a kid, it’s not going to turn out like her.

In-Cider Trading

, , , , , | Right | August 24, 2018

(These two regulars come in who have always been incredibly nice to me, always making jokes, etc., and always order the same thing. When I see them walk in, I start getting their cider’s uncapped, and they’re super happy.)

Regular #1: “Oh, hey, darling. You know us so well!”

Regular #2: “You’re such a sweetheart!”

(They start sipping away and I start to realize how drunk they actually are: drinking very slowly and slightly swaying. I keep an eye on them while I go upfront to grab someone’s jacket from coat check, when I see [Regular #1] putting the two ciders into his pea-coat jacket pockets. The liquor laws in my city are very strict, and we have a liquor inspector come by roughly every two weeks. At this point he hasn’t come for three weeks, so I am expecting him.)

Me:  “[Regular #1], what are you doing buddy? You know you can’t take those outside. Nice try, though!”

Regular #1: “You got me this time!”

(I go back to the bar, and I’m in the middle of serving someone, when I see the two of them just book it outside. Mind you, they haven’t even paid yet. I finish the transaction quickly and run after them.)

Me: *at this point I’m getting peeved* “Hey! Buddy! What did I just say?”

Regular #1: “Oh, don’t be such a spaz; we won’t tell anyone.”

Me: “If you want to finish your drinks, you have to do it inside. I will not risk getting our liquor licence suspended.”

Regular #1: “But I paid for these!”

(Classic drunk person excuse.)

Me: “Yeah, that’s why I said you can finish those ciders inside. Either walk inside with me, or give me the bottles.”

Regular #2: “Ugh, let’s go [Regular #1]. We don’t need this s***.”

(They proceed to shoo me away and turn around to walk. Now I’m really angry.)

Me: “HEY, I’M TALKING TO YOU! You’re in the business; you know how this works. Give those back now! I will not say this again.”

Regular #1: “Do you have any idea how much money I spent here? I paid for these, okay? And I am going to enjoy them.”

Me: “Yeah, [Regular #1], thank you oh-so-much for the $16 you spend here once a month. Without you we’d be bust, right?”

(It’s at this point that [Regular #1] gets right up in my face with all the attitude in the world.)

Regular #1: “Look here, b****. You’re really nice, okay? Let’s keep it that way. Now take that little mouth of yours and f*** off.”

(Realising I wasn’t going to get anywhere unless the situation got physical, I let them walk. I found the bottles around the corner an hour later after we closed the bar. They were still almost full.)

Some Sick Mannerisms

, , , , , | Right | August 14, 2018

(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

Page 3/2512345...Last