, , , , | Right | May 2, 2018

(A coworker comes to the back of the store. She looks angry.)

Me: “[Coworker], what’s wrong?”

Coworker: “Stupid, rude customer just reported me to [Store Manager] and says she is going to report me to head office for being racist.”

Me: “What did you do?”

Coworker: “Nothing. I was serving a customer at the counter when I heard someone calling out from [Department]. They wanted someone to come and help them find something. I called out that I would be with them in moment when I finished serving. When I went over there, they demanded to see [Store Manager] and accused me of being racist because I didn’t come straight away.”

Me: “Could you see them from the counter?”

Coworker: “No, they were at [section].”

Me: “With two aisles of stock separating you? There’s no way you could have seen them; don’t worry about it.”

(She calms down and heads back to her station. [Store Manager] comes back, looking flustered.)

Store Manager: “That b****! First, she accused [Coworker] of being racist. I pointed out that where she was, there was no way that she could have even seen her. I was with a customer and saw the whole thing. She said that because she is Iraqi, she was ignored.”

Me: “But [Coworker] is Iraqi.”

Store Manager: “I pointed that out; now I am being reported for being racist, as well.”

Unfiltered Story #109665

, , | Unfiltered | May 2, 2018

(It’s the middle of December, and I’m working in my cousin’s computer shop doing some repairs. It’s been a relatively easy day for me – a couple of HDD wipes, a replacement optical drive, changing over an old laptop’s OS. Then, a guy in his late 20’s walks in carrying a brand new tower from a serious computer gaming rig – complete with partially external water cooler – and complaining about his PC rapidly overheating to the point where it crashed and wouldn’t start back up. Slightly unusual, but it’s summer and the temperatures can get up into the mid-40’s here. It happens. I start out by checking the intake fans.)
Me: OK, your intake fans aren’t the problem. You might want to give the filters a clean, but it’s nothing serious. You mind if I open this thing up?
Customer: Go ahead.
(I take the walls off the case, and at a glance the cause of the problem becomes glaringly obvious. The fancy water cooler, which would normally act as the CPU’s heat sink, isn’t stuck in directly above it. It’s all wired correctly, but somehow the water cooler isn’t attached to the CPU.)
Me: Um, I think I see the problem. There’s no heat sink on the CPU.
Customer: But I don’t need one. I’ve got the water cooler there instead.
Me: That water cooler is the CPU’s heat sink. It connects to it just like a fan heat sink would. How did you manage to wire all this, but not attach the water cooler properly?
Customer: (stunned) I… I don’t know. Can you fix it?
Me: I can, but it won’t be cheap. At the very least, this thing I gonna need a new CPU, probably a new motherboard, and I’ll have to test the other components in here to make sure you haven’t fried them as well.
(Upon hearing this, the customer lets out a deep sigh of resignation)
Customer: Shit. How long until you can have it up and running again?
Me: A few days, hopefully. Longer if the graphics card is busted – I’ll have to order that in from Sydney. Everything else is pretty easy to get, though.
Customer: Fine. Do what you have to, let me know when it’s ready for pickup.
(I take down his information, then after he leaves, start testing the components in his PC. The CPU and motherboard had to be replaced, but luckily for him, everything else was in working order. Four days later, I called him up to come pick up his PC – with the water cooler properly installed as the CPU’s heat sink. I still have no idea how someone could wire it correctly, but mess that up.)

It’s Not The Solution Except When It Is

, , , , , , | Learning | April 26, 2018

There’s a stereotype that the more academically intelligent or successful you are, the less likely that you have “common sense” intelligence. This was never truer than in my chemistry exam eight years ago. Despite being part of the “nerdy” group in my class, I wasn’t feeling confident with chemistry at all. In my anxiety, the weekend before the exam I managed to complete every single past exam that I could get my hands on, dating all the way back to the mid-90s. My head was whirling with about 15 years’ worth of formulas and equations, and I finally felt ready for the exam. All that practice did pay off, as I found most of the exam fairly straightforward, right up until the last question.

It was a long question divided into multiple parts, and it started off okay, asking me standard questions like writing out the correct formula, identifying the product of the reaction, naming the molecule in question, describing its structure, and so on. Everything was fine… until the very last question completely threw me off.

The question was, “Why wouldn’t you place this molecule atop a Bunsen burner?”

I stared at the question for several minutes, completely stumped. There hadn’t been any questions on the dozens of practice exams I’d completed that were in any way reminiscent of this one. It was only worth one point, but I couldn’t think of what to write. I ended up writing something ridiculous, like, “Because Bunsen burners are hot,” or something equally stupid.

After the exam, my nerdy group of friends gathered together outside the classroom and we all pondered over that last question. None of us had figured it out; we had all been equally baffled. Then, finally, one of my friends slapped her forehead in frustration.

“Oh, my God, you guys! It was alcohol!

Be Aware Who Has The “Keys” To The Kingdom

, , , , | Right | April 23, 2018

(I work full-time, Monday to Friday, and I also work every second Saturday on reception. I’m a very versatile employee, with lots of knowledge and experience across the whole dealership. I have worked here for almost four years, so I know quite a lot about processes. A man rings in, who is an owner of the brand I work for, but not one of our direct customers.)

Me: “Good afternoon! [Dealership]. [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hi, service department, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, service closed at 12 pm.” *it is now almost four pm* “But I work with the service department; perhaps I can help you?”

Caller: “I’ve lost the key to my car, and I need you to give me the code so I can cut a new one.”

Me: “Oh, sorry to hear that; I’m guessing you don’t have a spare?”

Caller: “No, I don’t, so can you just give me the code?”

Me: “Unfortunately, due to strict security, sir, there aren’t ‘codes’ we can give out to cut a key. All of the keys are laser cut in either Singapore or Germany, and the information is transferred electronically–“

Caller: “That’s a lie! I know you have a code, so just give it to me!”

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, I cannot give you something that simply doesn’t exist. Even if there was a ‘code,’ I couldn’t and wouldn’t give it out to someone on the phone.”

Caller: “Well, sweetie, you obviously don’t know what you are talking about; all keys have a code you can cut them to, so just look on your little computer thing in front of you and give it to me.”

Me: “I don’t know you from a bar of soap, so let me give you some advice: the codes do not exist. I cannot give you a code.”

Caller: “You lying f****** b****! You just don’t want to help me! Give me the f****** code!”

Me: “I have absolutely no reason to lie to you. Now, please be advised that these calls are recorded, I have your mobile number–” *it is displayed on my switchboard* “—and I am now hanging up on you. Good luck with replacing the key that you lost! Have a nice day.”

(With that, I hung up on him, wrote down his mobile number, and seriously contemplated prank calling him at three in the morning… It’s just a pity that I won’t lower myself to that level!)

It Makes Cents

, , , , | Friendly | April 20, 2018

(Once a year for a few years now, I have gone door-to-door collecting for a well-known international charity organisation. Every year, I’m given the same area to do, so I see the same houses every year. One house that always sticks out is this rickety old one that absolutely stinks of cigarettes and animal droppings. It’s home to a very old lady who makes the same bad joke every year.)

Me: “Good morning. I’m collecting for [Charity Organization].”

Woman: “Let me get my purse.”

(She left me alone for a few minutes before returning with her purse. Then she fished around in it and pulled out a single 10c coin and dropped it in my bag. She then paused to wait for a reaction, before laughing and pulling out a more substantial amount of money and dropping it in my bag. Part of me finds it a little annoying that she does the same thing every single year, but I don’t really mind. It’s a boring job, going door-to-door, and the constant rejection I receive can be a little soul-crushing at times, so I enjoy it when she tries to make me laugh, even if it is with the same bad joke year after year. It’s reached the point now where I actually look forward to knocking on her door. Thanks, random lady, if not for making me smile, then at least for breaking up the monotony of it all.)

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