Entreating You For The Treats

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I lock up and clean the vet clinic where I work. It’s a Saturday evening after a long, busy day. I’m in the middle of mopping the main lobby when I hear a knock at the glass door.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re closed until Monday morning.”

Man: “Miss, please, you have to let me in!”

Me: “I can’t let you in. There is an emergency vet clinic down the road if your pet needs a veterinarian.”

Man: “No, please, it’s an emergency!”

Me: “I can’t let you in! I could be fired!”

Man: *starts shaking the door*

Me: “SIR! Please stop doing that! I told you I can’t let you in! If you continue to shake the door, I’m going to call the police!”

Man: *on the verge of tears* “Please… please, let me in….”

Me: “Do you need to pick up medicine or something? I can’t let you in, but maybe I can call my boss to help you.”

Man: “No, I need [Brand of dog treats].”

Me: “There’s a pet store down the street that sells them as well.”

Man: “REALLY?”

Me: “Yes…”

Man: “THANKS! I OWE YOU!”

(I never saw him again. Dude, I hope you got your treats.)

Not The Best Pupil For Eye Care

| USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

Caller: “I need to make an appointment for my cat. Something is really wrong with his eyes!”

Me: “Could you explain to me what you’re seeing?”

Caller: “They keep changing sizes!”

Me: “Do you mean you see the eyelid coming over the eye, or…?”

Caller: “No! His eyes keep changing sizes! Sometimes the eye gets really big, and sometimes it gets really small.”

Me: “Wait, are you talking about the black part of the eye? Does the eye get skinny when it’s bright in the house or if your cat is in sunlight?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “And does the eye get wide when it’s dark out?”

Caller: “Yes! That’s exactly it! I need to know how to fix it!”

Me: “The black part of the eye is called a pupil. It changes size based on how much light is coming into the eye. When it’s bright out, the pupil gets smaller, when it’s dark out, the pupil gets larger. If there’s sunlight in one eye and darkness in the other, one pupil will be small and one will be big.”

Caller: “So I can’t fix it?”

Me: “No, you can’t. There’s nothing wrong with the eye. In fact, your eyes do the same thing.”

Caller: “So… it can’t be fixed?”

Bachelor Chow Is The Cat’s Meow

| Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I am the customer in this story. The vet sells cat and dog food in the lobby. Though my mum takes my cat here when he’s ill and to buy food, I have never been to buy food before.)

Me: *picks up a large bag of cat food and takes it to the desk* “I’ll have this, please!”

Vet’s Receptionist: “That’ll be £15.00 please.”

Me: “Okay, great.” *I pay*

Vet’s Receptionist: “We have to note down sales in this book. Can I have your surname and your cat’s name, please?”

Me: *without thinking, I look up in surprise and say* “Huh? How did you know I have a cat?!”

Vet’s Receptionist: “Well… unless you plan on eating that yourself…”