A Muddied Understanding

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I’m the groomer at a veterinary hospital. I get paged to reception to answer a question.)

Me: “Thanks for waiting. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was wondering if you offered mud baths?”

Me: “Mud baths?”

Customer: “Well, my dogs coat is so dry, and my skin is always so nice after one, so I was wondering if you gave mud baths to dogs?”

Me: “Um, no. If I did I would just have to wash it all off right after, so it would be a bit counter productive. If the skin or coat is dry I would recommend a shampoo with oatmeal.”

Customer: “Oh, that makes sense! Thanks for your time!” *walks out*

When The Cat’s Away The Dogs Have A Spa Day

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I am the groomer at a veterinary hospital. Midway through my shift I go to grab a cat I have scheduled for a bath. To keep their stress to a minimum there is a room that is exclusively for cats. All boarding and grooming cats are kept there. As soon as I enter the room the cat is already growling and hissing. Take note: the cat has a short coat and the hair looks very shiny. After a quick glance at the chart I call up the owner.)

Me: “[Cat] is already a little grumpy, so I’m a bit hesitant to work on him. I don’t want to stress him out any more than I have to. His coat looks pretty clean. Was there a particular reason you wanted him washed today?”

Client: “Well, my dogs are there to get groomed all the time, getting their spa days. I didn’t want him feeling left out…”

Is That A Tumor In Your Pocket…

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(A customer comes in and is very concerned about the ‘tumor’ on her male dog’s stomach.)

 Me: “That’s not a tumor, ma’am. It’s called a bulbus glandus. It just means he’s, um, really happy to see you.”