There’s No Need To Behave Like An Animal About It

, , , | Healthy | March 19, 2020

(I work as a receptionist for a veterinary hospital. Earlier today, I gave a prescription to a client for a drug that is classified as Schedule II, which means it is considered as having high potential for abuse, so our facility is not licensed to carry it on-site. It can only be picked up from a human pharmacy. Thus, we write prescriptions instead of filling them ourselves at our on-site pharmacy. My first interaction with the client ends like this:)

Client: “So… what do I do with this?” *holds up prescription*

Me: “You take it to a pharmacy, just as you would with a prescription from your doctor. I would recommend calling around to see which places have it first before going anywhere because not all pharmacies can or do carry it.”

Client: “Can you call the pharmacies for me?” *stares expectantly*

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. There are dozens of pharmacies in the area, and I have no idea which places have this drug. And unfortunately, I have other clients waiting so I’m not able to set aside that kind of time.”

(She’s not happy with my answer, but she takes the prescription and leaves. Maybe an hour later, I get a call from her.)

Client: “So, can I use my insurance card to pick up the medication?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that’s legal.”

Client: “But I’m getting the medication from a human pharmacy. Why can’t I use my insurance?”

Me: “Because the medication is for your dog, and the prescription is filled out to reflect that. The pharmacy will be aware it is for a dog, and your insurance only covers you. If you have pet insurance, that may or may not help cover it, but that depends on your plan.”

Client: “Well, I should be able to use it. It’s a pharmacy, not a vet. Why can’t I use it?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I’m not sure what else I can do for you. If you have further questions, I can ask the vet to speak with you.”

Client: “No. Never mind!” *hangs up*

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To Censor Or Not To Censor: The Editors’ Dilemma

, , , , , , | Healthy | March 5, 2020

Our English Setter has had surgery to repair an ACL injury. She chews on her stitches and manages to pop one. We load her in the car to make the 45-minute drive to the vet, calling ahead to make sure they know we’re coming, as we know we’ll be pushing closing time for them.

We get there a few minutes before close and our vet comes into the waiting room to greet us. He picks up our girl and proclaims dramatically, “What did you do that for, you b****?!”

His vet tech (and we) totally lost it.

And he replaced the stitches with staples for us!

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Unfiltered Story #187731

, , | Unfiltered | March 3, 2020

I have a variation of the following conversation at least once a day:

Me: Thank you for calling ******** Vet Clinic, this is [My Name], how may I help you?
Client: You just called me, so I’m calling you back.
Me: OK, it must have been somebody else in the office who you spoke to, let me look up your file and see what we called about. *Gets client’s information and opens client’s account*
Me: Ms. Smith, I don’t see a note in your file about a conversation, do you know who called or what it was regarding?
Client: No, there was a message but I didn’t listen to it, I just called you right back.
Me: *goes around asking all fifteen receptionists and techs in the building asking if anybody called Ms. Smith*
Me: It looks like [coworker] left you a message to say that Fluffy’s heartworm test was negative, so he’s healthy and we don’t need to see him again until his next annual exam is due. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Client: No, that was all.
Me: Have a great day.
Me: *Hangs up, bangs head on wall*

That’s The Spirit?

, , , | Healthy | March 2, 2020

(I work for a vet. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Clinic], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Client: “Hi. I got a card in the mail that my cat is due for a checkup, so I’d like to schedule that.”

Me: “Certainly. May I have your last name?”

Client: “It’s [Last Name].”

Me: “Okay, and is this for [Cat]?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, according to our records, it looks like [Cat] is overdue for her upper respiratory and distemper vaccine. Would you like to have that boosted?”

Client: “Oh, I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to my husband about that. Can I let you know when I come in for the appointment?”

Me: “Of course.”

Client: “We’ll have to pray about it and dowse to decide.”

(As far as I know, dowsing refers to holding sticks to try and find groundwater. I have no idea how the client intends to use it to decide whether to vaccinate her cat.)

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At Least They’re Not An Anti-Vaxxer

, , , , | Right | February 21, 2020

(I work at an animal shelter that has a low-cost spay/neuter clinic to the public. We also offer cheaper surgeries for people who are getting feral cat colonies fixed. It’s $20 for males and $25 for females. They include two vaccines as well as the surgery. This lady brings in four ferals for surgery, and we remind her of the costs and we have them pay at pickup so we know the sexes of the cats. She ends up with three males and one female, so a total of $85. We have to itemize the charges when we make the receipt, so it’s broken down to $5 for each of the neuters, $10 for her spay, $8 for each rabies shot, and $7 for the feline combo shot. She comes to pick up and I tell her $85, so she hands me her card and notices my itemized list on her paperwork. She asks if she can take a look and I hand it over. She then freaks out.)

Client: “You didn’t tell me the vaccines were extra!”

Me: “They’re not. It’s a package, all for 20/25.”

Client: “No! You wrote right here! Charging me an extra $32 for their rabies and $28 for the combo shots! Why am I being charged so much?! You said it was only 20/25 for their surgeries!”

Me: “But that’s what you are being charged for—”

Client: “No, I’m not! You have it right here extra for the vaccines!”

Me: “Ma’am… It’s not extra. The two vaccines are included in the cost.”

Client: “NO, THEY’RE NOT!”

(I then had to bring out my calculator and show her that 20+20+20+25=85, as well as that $15 for her three neuters, plus $10 for her spay, plus $32 for her four rabies, plus $28 for the combo shot still equaled $85. She then reluctantly paid the $85, took her cats, and left. I hate math.)

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