CONTENT WARNING: Injured Animal (Dog bite, infection, but recovery!)

My cat is an indoor-outdoor cat. He is a very sweet, laid-back cat, and he loves everyone. One night, he came home and I saw one small piece of fur out of place.

Me: “He’s sick!”

Brother: “What do you mean? He’s acting fine — still eating, playing, and letting us pet and hold him.”

Me: “Yes, but that fur is out of place. He’s a meticulous groomer. Something’s wrong.”

My family didn’t believe me.

The next morning, the cat came in and there was now a very large lump where the messed-up piece of fur was. We thought he might have a hernia, even though he was still acting fine. I decided to wait until the next day since I had to go to work.

That night, the lump was gone. In its place was a hole about two inches wide and an inch deep. I put the cat in a crate and took him to the vet first thing the next morning. He had only been to the vet once, to get neutered.

The vet came in and asked me to take him out of the carrier. I did, and as I held him in one arm, my cat was curled on his back, feet in the air, tongue sticking out, and purring. The vet stared at him.

Vet: “That… is a very weird cat. He should be freaking out because he has a huge hole in his side.”

Me: “Yeah, he’s pretty laid-back. Here.” 

I handed him over, and my cat just stared at the vet like, “Dude… pet me.”

It turned out that he had been bitten by a dog and had a huge infection that took up one whole side of his body. But after surgery and medicine, he was fine again. He lived for almost seventeen years and made several people who hated cats come to love them.

Client: “I want to get my dog vaccinated, but I’m worried. Is there a risk of autism from vaccines from dogs like there is from humans?”

I think, “I’m not going to get involved with your crazy bulls***, but vaccines don’t cause autism.” But out loud, I say:

Me: “No, ma’am. Dogs can’t get autism, ma’am. Only humans.”

Client: “Oh, good. Make sure my little fuzzy boy gets all of his vaccines, then!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Years ago, I worked as a receptionist in a small, one-doctor veterinary office. One day, I received a call concerning the unexpected loss of one of the doctor’s family members. I pulled her from an appointment to take the call and went in to wrap things up and reschedule with the client, who was known to be a bit of a pain.

Me: “I apologize, but the doctor has been called away by an emergency. I am afraid we will have to reschedule Fluffy’s appointment.”

At this point, a heart-wrenching wail could be heard from the office where the doctor had gone to take the call.

Me: *In a confidential tone* “Sadly, there has been a death in the family.”

Client: *Explosively* “I can’t believe this! I swear! I’m going to go to [Other Vet Office across town]! This happens every f****** time I come in!”

Me: *Icily* “I doubt that, sir. She only had the one father, after all.” 

Rather than reschedule his appointment, I emailed all of his pet’s records to the vet he mentioned, who just happened to be the most expensive in the region. He seemed shocked to later find that he had been fired as a client.

CONTENT WARNING: Pet Injury

I work for an overnight emergency veterinarian. A parent and her kids bring in a hamster late one night. The poor little fluff ball had hidden behind a heater and got burned on all four paws. The kids are besides themselves, so mom steps up to get their pet help.

The vet performs her exam and, once given approval, begins treatment and gives a prescription for amoxicillin to help fend off infection while the paws heal.

Any emergency visit is expensive. The mom has some understandable trepidation at a medical bill being in the neighborhood of $100 for the care of a hamster. She takes a breath and looks at her kids who are finally reassured that their pet will be better soon.

Mom: “While I can’t believe I’m spending so much on a hamster, what I really want is for my kids to learn responsibility towards creatures that depend on them.”

The vet and I reassured her that she was being a very good mom.

CONTENT WARNING: Potential Animal Abuse/Neglect

I work in a veterinary clinic, and I have almost this exact conversation at least once every. Single. Monday.

The phone rings.

Me: “[Clinic], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Client: “Hi. [Cat] has an appointment for Thursday because she hasn’t been eating well, but she stopped eating after I scheduled with you on Friday, and I’m getting worried. Can I bring her in today?”

Me: “Well, as I said when we spoke on Friday, [Cat] is fifteen and has kidney disease, so not eating can get dangerous very quickly. Did you call [Emergency Clinic] like I recommended if she stopped eating over the weekend?”

Client: “No, I want only [Vet] to see her.”

Me: “[Client], we don’t have any openings between now and your appointment, and after going so long without food, [Cat] needs emergency care. Please call [Emergency Clinic #1], [Emergency Clinic #2], or [Emergency Clinic #3] to have [Cat] seen ASAP, and let them know to call me for [Cat]’s records.”

Thankfully, most of them do actually take their cats to the emergency clinic at this point, but I always wonder, are they this nonchalant about their children refusing to eat for multiple days? What about their geriatric parents?

Related:
Not Everyone’s Cut Out To Have Pets