A Stitch In Time

| Trondheim, Norway | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Time

(I`m a veterinary nurse, and answering phones on a Tuesday.)

Me: ¨Hello, [Clinic].

Caller: ¨Hello, I have an appointment at four on Thursday to remove stitches on my dog, and I want to change it to tomorrow at the same time.¨

Me: “Sure, let me just check if we have an appointment available at four tomorrow.¨

(I check and see that we don’t have any available at four, but that we may squeeze him in with another appointment about 30 minutes later, if he insists.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but it seems we don’t have any available at that time.¨

Caller: ¨No, I have to do it tomorrow! The operation cost me 10000kr -” *about $1206* “- and I demand to get an appointment at four! I`m a doctor and this is unacceptable! I’m going out of town and I’m a doctor so I know this can’t wait!¨

Me: ¨I`m really sorry, but we don’t have any appointment available at that time. If you want, I can check with the vet if it’s okay to squeeze you in with another appointment about 30 minutes later.¨

Caller: ¨NO! I demand an appointment at four! I paid so much for this operation that i should get an appointment when it fits ME!”

Me: ¨As I said, I can check with the vet if it’s okay for her that we try to fit you in. Let me just put you on hold for a sec.¨

Caller: *Interrupts me as I’m about to ask the vet* ¨NO! I demand to get an appointment at four tomorrow, and I will be there at that time! Good bye!¨ *click*

(He shows up at four the next day, and after waiting for about five minutes, getting more and more annoyed for every minute passing, he then walks up to the reception, where I’m sitting.)

Customer/Caller: ¨Why is it taking so long! I had an appointment at four!”

Me: ¨No, you actually don’t. I tried telling you on the phone yesterday that we didn’t have an appointment available at four, but you insisted on coming anyway. I have notified the vet that you are here, but you will have to wait until she has a free moment between patients who actually have an appointment. Please take a seat over at the tables and wait.¨

(He walked over to the tables and sat there shooting angry looks at me until it was his turn. He ended up waiting for about 30 minutes. I was really tempted to tell him that since he is a doctor, he could just remove the stitches himself.)

I Don’t Know Myself!

, | Kansas City, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work for a veterinary clinic that also offers pet boarding. To board, pets must be current on vaccinations; if they are not, a staff member reviews a consent form with them and then a vet will update the required services.)

Client: “I have a complaint.”

Me: “I’m sorry. How can I help you?”

Client: “No one called me to tell me my dog was started on ear medications while boarding.”

Me: “Let me review your file… According to the paperwork you signed at check-in, you selected the “Okay to treat minor issues” box, rather than the “Call to approve” box.”

Client: “Why would you not call people?”

Me: “Some people prefer not to receive calls when gone on vacation or business—”

Client: “—You don’t know me. How do you know what I want?”

Me: “Yes, that’s why we asked you, on this form you signed, what your preference was, to be contacted or not?”

Client: “You don’t know me!”

Me: “Perhaps in the future you should check the other box…”

Hold That Note

| Norway | Musical Mayhem

(The computers at work are very slow, and while on the phone with a customer, this happens:)

Caller: *asking for information about her dog*

Me: “I can look it up for you on the computer, but it will take a little while, because our system is a bit slow.”

Me: *humming on a song while typing*

Caller: “Wow, you make your own hold music.”

No Vocation For Location, Part 10

| Oklahoma City, OK , USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at a veterinary hospital that is part of a chain located inside a popular pet supply store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Vet]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Ya, this is the office at [our location], isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

Customer: “I was wondering about your other locations. Can you tell me where they are?”

Me: “I can do that for you. Was there a particular location or area you were interested in?”

Customer: “Ya, where is your 63rd & May location?”

Me: “…Ma’am?”

Customer: “Ya, where is your 63rd & May location?”

Me: “Um, it’s up on May Street at about 63rd Street.”

Customer: “Great! Thank you for your help!”

Related:
No Vocation For Location, Part 9
No Vocation For Location, Part 8
No Vocation For Location, Part 7

Cat-atonic To Your Pleas

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I’m waiting in the lobby of my vet’s office. Because I don’t own a car and either take a taxi or the bus there, I have my dog’s carrier with me, but I’ve taken him out of it. Another client comes in with a carrier, checks in, and sits down next to me. After a second, I realize she has a cat in the carrier. My dog is not friendly with cats, so I get up and move to some seats on the other end of the lobby.)

Me: *on my way to the far-away seat, big smile on my face* “You don’t smell, I promise. It’s just that my dog is aggressive towards cats, and if he realizes there’s a cat in your carrier, he will begin to act out.”

Other Client: “Nonsense, all pets can be friendly towards each other. They just have to be properly introduced. Come over here; they’ll be fine!”

Me: “Really, I’ve tried just about everything. He really dislikes cats and will try to attack them. Sometimes it’s in their genes. It’s no big deal. We’ll just sit over here and he won’t even realize you have a cat there!”

Other Client: *reaching for the door of her carrier* “Oh, come on now. I watch The Dog Whisperer. I can get them to get along.”

Me: “Please don’t! I’d feel terrible if he hurt your cat! I don’t want him to get hurt, either, if the cat needs to defend itself.”

(Despite my pleas, the other client takes her cat out of the carrier. My dog immediately hits the end of his leash, nearly foaming at the mouth. She ignores his obvious aggression and starts walking towards us, doing this stupid sing-songy “be a good doggie and make friends with the cat” while her cat sees what’s up and starts hissing and trying to get away from her to run away.)

Me: *trying to corral my dog and shove him in his own carrier* “PLEASE BACK OFF NOW! MY DOG WILL HURT YOUR CAT IF YOU FORCE THEM TOGETHER! PLEASE STOP!”

(She doesn’t stop, but I manage to get my dog back in his carrier before she reaches us. SHE HOLDS THE CAT UP TO THE MESH WINDOW OF MY DOG’S CARRIER, which I’ve situated behind my legs, persisting in her sing-songy “be a nice doggy!” while my dog tries to eat through his carrier to eat the cat.)

Receptionist: “Uh, I think you probably want to keep your cat away… Um, this doesn’t sound good.” *she runs to get some assistance*

Me: “That is enough! Get that cat away from my dog! And me, I have terrible allergies!”

Other Client: “Oh, why didn’t you just say you were allergic! I don’t want to make you miserable all day!”

(I think her cat was quite relieved that she then put it back in its carrier and took her seat across the lobby from me. But… she was willing to avoid aggravating my allergies, but not driving my dog mad, scaring the daylights out of her cat, and risking harm to both?)