Customer: “Hi, I’d like to rent a car, but can I drive it to the United States?”
Me: “Pardon? I don’t understand.”
Customer: “Can I drive the car back to the United States?”
Me: “How did you get to Jamaica?”
Customer: “I flew here, why?”
Me: “Didn’t you see the ocean underneath you from the airplane?”
Customer: “No, I slept the whole way here. Wait. What ocean?”
(I’m a woman in her 20s, and I look quite young. A group of men in their 30s have come in, having booked a minivan for a trip to the Czech Republic.)
Me: “…and here’s your rental agreement. It states that the car is a diesel, but please check yourself at the gas station, because the computer-provided data about the cars have been known to be wrong.”
Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? I’m a grown-up man for God’s sake!”
Me: “Certainly not, but such mistakes happen more often you’d like to think. I’m only saying this to avoid you having to pay for any damages, or simply having a broken car in the middle of your trip.”
Customer: “Well, you’re a girl, so I’m not surprised you don’t know that the type of fuel the car requires is written on the gas refilling hole. I’m not surprised you know nothing about cars; it’s a man thing and requires some technical knowledge.
Me: “Okay then. Have a nice trip and be safe!”
(The customers go out to the parking lot. I can see them fidgeting with the remote, and have some trouble just opening the car. Once inside, I see them pushing various buttons on the radio and still not driving out of the parking lot. After several minutes, the customer I’ve spoken with comes back in.)
Me: “Is everything okay?”
Customer: “…I can’t find the handbrake.”
Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. My name is [name]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Ummm, yeah. I rented a trailer from you guys, and got the optional insurance. I didn’t have a wreck or anything. Can I get that money back”?
Me: “No, ma’am. It is insurance, not a deposit.”
Customer: “But I didn’t use it.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, you have car insurance, right?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Does your car insurance company refund your premiums if you don’t have a wreck?”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “So, you see, it’s insurance in case there is any damage, but it is not refundable.”
Customer: “Oh, I see. So I can get a refund, right?”
(A customer has had one of our cars for three days, when he calls our customer service number.)
Customer: “The car is stuck in park. No matter what I do, it will not go out of park. I’m trying pretty hard, but I don’t want to break the gear shift.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear about that; let’s take a look at this and see what we can do. Are you able to start the car at all?”
Customer: “Yes the car starts just fine, and everything works. It just won’t move.”
Me: “Are there any indicator lights on?”
Customer: “All of them come on when you start the car.”
Me: “Okay, go ahead and put your foot on the break, flush to the floor.”
Customer: “What? What is that? What do you mean?”
Me: “The brake pedal. Go ahead and push that down, and then shift into reverse.”
Customer: “I still don’t know what you mean.”
Me: “The pedal next to the accelerator. Push that down.”
Customer: “It worked! Thank you so much; I thought I was going to be stuck here!”
(I am driving with a friend when her car begins to have trouble. We manage to get it to the shop, but it will be several days before her car can be repaired. Not wanting to be stranded in a small town for several days, we walk to a nearby car rental agency. Everything is going smoothly until…)
Employee: “I just need to see a valid driver’s license.”
My Friend: “Here you go.”
(As we are both from other states, my friend has just handed the rental agent her Maryland driver’s license.)
Employee: “I’m sorry. I can’t accept this. I need to see a Georgia driver’s license.”
My Friend: “Are you serious? I’m not from Georgia. I don’t have a Georgia driver’s license.”
Employee: “I’m sorry, but that’s corporate policy. I can’t rent you a car unless you have an in-state ID.”
My Friend: “But I’ve rented cars from you at other locations in the past, and I’ve used my out-of-state license, and it has never been an issue before. Are you seriously telling me that you can’t rent me a vehicle because I’m from another state?”
Employee: “Sorry, but unless you have a Georgia license, I cannot rent a car to you.”
(My friend and I finally give up and call another friend who happens to be living in a town about an hour away to come and pick us up, which she is happy to do. As we are waiting for our ride…)
Me: “I can’t believe that they wouldn’t rent you a car because you have an out-of-state license! Isn’t that what a car rental agency is for? Who do they usually rent cars to?”
