(I have a boss who is a pretty hard worker, but has no clue about being professional with his workers. When we go out after a long night to have drinks, he always tags along even if he works early the next day. One night I get crazy drunk and hook up with him, which I really regret. I am terrified it’d be weird at work, but he makes me swear to not tell anyone because he’d lose his job. I figure we are cool, but a couple days after I leave the job for a different position, I am getting a lot of calls and texts from former coworkers, asking me to come over and hang out with them. Finally, I have enough.)

Me: “Okay, what is going on? Why is everyone trying to get in my pants?”

Former Coworker: “Oh, [Boss] said you guys were hooking up all the time at work and that we needed to lay off trying to get with you because you guys were an item. Now he’s mad because he says he dumped you and you had to take the new job so you didn’t have to see him anymore. He said you were good to go with the rest of us, though, so wanna hang out?”

(Definitely didn’t appreciate that he’d given all those guys my number, too, since I never gave it out. I had to block everyone in my phone from that place. Moral of the story is don’t make mistakes with classless people from a crappy place of work!)

(I work as the manager of a rental car office. It’s a slow day and so when the next customer enters, I take my time describing the extra insurance coverage benefits.)

Customer: “Seriously, do we have to go over all of this?”

Me: “Yes, sir. I want to make sure you are fully informed about what refusing the extra coverage means for you.”

Customer: “Fine, but let’s hurry up. I want to hit the road!”

Me: “No problem, sir. We’ve covered everything and you’ve declined all coverage. Please sign your contract and you are all set!”

(The customer signs and walks out the door. Not two minutes later, he walks back in looking sheepish.)

Me: “Hello, sir, did you forget something?”

Customer: “No, it’s just… Can I go ahead and get the extra insurance?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but why? You were adamant a minute ago that you didn’t want it.”

Customer: “I guess I changed my mind!”

(I walk out of the office and around to the back parking lot. Sitting on top of a decorative rock set to the entrance of the driveway is the car I just rented him – a brand new luxury car, with three of the four wheels hanging in the air.)

Customer: “I think I hit something. So can I get the insurance?”

Me: “Sir, you can’t get insurance AFTER you’ve damaged the car!”

Customer: “Why not?! I didn’t even leave the parking lot!”

(The guy ended up having to pay for the damage to the car, damage to the landscaping, the tow, and the days the car was unavailable for rent.)

Related:
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 7
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5

(I work for a company in California that rents out houseboats for vacations. Someone calls in.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I was just wondering when my power was going to be back on.”

(I assume the customer means the generator on his houseboat stopped functioning.)

Me: *confused* “What lake are you at?”

Caller: “What lake? I’m at my house in Virginia.”

Me: “Well, this is a houseboat rental company in California.”

Caller: “Yeah, I know.”

Me: “How would we know when your power is coming back on?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

(My family and I fly to Orlando for a week’s vacation. Our flight is delayed, and as a result, we don’t get to the car rental place until 10:00 at night. We are tired and hungry and just want to get our car so that we can go get settled in our hotel. The lineup for the rental counter is huge and takes forever. When it is finally our turn …)

Me: “Here’s my confirmation number.”

Employee: “I see that you rented a midsize car.”

Me: “That’s right.”

Employee: “But there’s four of you, and all your luggage. A midsize won’t be big enough.”

Me: “It’ll be fine. Our car at home is no bigger than a midsize, and we got the airport with no problems. We were a little squished, but that was no big deal.”

Employee: “You should get a full size car instead. You’ll be much more comfortable.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

Employee: “I REALLY think you should get a full size car instead.”

Me: “NO, thanks.”

Employee: “But—”

Me: “Let me ask you this: are you offering to upgrade us for free?”

Employee: “Um, no. A full size will cost you $x more per day.”

Me: “That’s what I thought. Please just give us the midsize that I requested.”

Employee: “Fine.”

(That explained why the lineup was so long and slow!)

(A customer storms in waving his contract in the air.)

Customer: “I want this insurance coverage OFF! I returned this car yesterday and I realized today that the insurance coverage is still on here!”

Me: “Okay, let me have a look. It looks as though you accepted our collision coverage on the vehicle when you picked up.”

Customer: “But I didn’t even get in an accident so I would like a refund.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, we can’t refund you for that just because you did not get into an accident. You agreed to take the collision coverage and would have signed for it on your contract.”

Customer: “No, this is stupid. I want this taken off now.”

Me: “I’m sorry. You have signed off on a legally binding contracting accepting our collision coverage for the four days you rented a car from us.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t even look at what I was signing so it’s not my fault.”

Me: “We go over every contract verbally with our customers and explain each part that we need a signature on. We also do not add coverage on without discussing it with our customers first so it seems you agreed to it at the time.”

Customer: “WHY WOULD YOU CHARGE ME FOR COLLISION COVERAGE IF I DID NOT GET INTO AN ACCIDENT, THOUGH! I WANT A REFUND!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m really sorry, but you signed for this on a legal contract.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager NOW!”

Me: “Absolutely.”

(My manager has been sitting in the back office listening the entire time. He walks out, and the customer repeats everything again.)

Manager: “Sir, you put your signature down on a legal contract accepting this coverage. I wish that I could get a full refund on my yearly insurance just because I did not get into an accident, but unfortunately, it does not work that way.”

Customer: “Well I didn’t read what I was signing. This is f****** ridiculous. I ACCIDENTALLY SIGNED IT!”

Manager: “WELL, THEN, WE ACCIDENTALLY COVERED YOU AND THE VEHICLE, NOW DIDN’T WE? I suggest next time you put yourself in the position of signing a LEGAL DOCUMENT that you will spend time reading it and pay attention when someone explains it to you.”

(The customer promptly left.)

Related:
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5