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They Must Be Special

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza House]. Would you like to hear about our current specials?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “All righty, then, will this be a pick-up or delivery order?”

Customer: “Do you have any deals going on right now?”

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Just What Kind Of Game Do You Think You’re Playing?

, , , , | Right | October 5, 2017

(We’re selling refurbished game consoles, with two games for free, as a promo deal on a flyer. The problem is, one of those games isn’t out until later in the week.)

Customer: “Can I get a copy of this game? I was never told about it when I bought the console.”

Me: “Sir, that game doesn’t come out until Thursday; it’s Monday.”

(For reference, our flyers come out every Friday morning.)

Customer: “But your flyer says the console and these two games are $349!”

Me: “It does, sir, but we can’t break street date on the game. You’ll have to come back on Thursday to get the game. In the meantime, we’ll be happy to put it on hold for you.”

Customer: “This is f***** ridiculous. Just get me the game now. And I want a discount.”

Me: “Sir, we can’t. We physically don’t have the game here. We don’t get copies until Thursday, when it comes out.”

(Long story short, after yelling at me, another sales associate, and the manager, and demanding the CEO’s number, he left. I found out he came back Thursday and bought the game at full price.)

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Take The Advice Of The Hire Power

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2017

(I am working at a coffee shop, and this is my first time using the cash register. I am pretty fast for someone who is new, but still slow overall. Thankfully, there are only three people in line at most, so there is never a wait longer than three minutes.)

Me: “Hello! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Finally! This took forever.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the delay; I’m new here, and this is my first day on cash register.”

Customer: “There are always new people here. They need to stop hiring so many new people.”

Me: “We have had a lot of people leave recently.”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter!”

Me: “So… they shouldn’t hire employees?”

Customer: “…”

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Petting Is Not In The Cards

, , , , , | Related | September 18, 2017

(Mom, Dad, and I are sitting around the dinner table playing cards. I am distracted by the cat, who is letting me pet him.)

Mom: “Stop petting the cat. We’re playing cards.”

Me: “But he’s cute!”

Mom: “I think your father’s cute, but you don’t see me petting him all the time!” *pause* “Or at all.”

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One Giant Leap For Stupidity

, , , , | Friendly | August 24, 2017

(I’ve been invited to the home of a friend to hang out with him and his male cousin, who’s visiting from out of town. When I go to leave, I find a note stuck to one of my boots. It reads, “LOL dude you got some tiny-a** feet!” Baffled, since my feet are basically average-sized for a woman, I stick the note in my coat pocket and head out. The next time I come over, I’m let into the house by my friend’s roommate, who sees me start unlacing my boots and turns bright red.)

Roommate: “Oh, those are YOUR shoes!”

Me: “Uh, yeah…? Hey, did you write this note last time?”

Roommate: “I thought they were [Cousin’s].”

Me: “Wait… you actually went to the effort of leaving a note mocking a total stranger because you thought he had small feet?”

Roommate: “I just thought it would be funny. It’s a guy thing!”

Me: “I’m pretty sure it’s a you thing…”

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