(I am volunteering at a major international sporting event as a venue host, so I answer customers’ questions, show them to their seats, etc. All the flags of the participating nations in this particular event are hanging from the ceiling of the venue. I am also a huge geography nerd.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you know which country has that white and maroon flag?”

Me: “That is Latvia.”

Customer: “Oh. What about that red, green, and white one?”

Me: “That’s Belarus.”

Customer: “Did you guys have to memorize all this stuff?”

Me: “No, sir, you just happened to ask the right person about this stuff.”

(I am standing at the service area of my sporting goods store, where bikes and skis get tuned, racquets are strung, and skates are sharpened. A customer walks up holding skates.)

Me: “Hi there. Skate sharpening?”

Customer: “It looks like it.”

Me: “Okay, it’s going to be around two hours.”

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me? I come here all the time, and it only takes 45 minutes! You guys can do it right now!”

Me: “Unfortunately, our service area is based on first-come-first-serve, so there is quite a bit of work ahead of you right now.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t see any skates; what is he working on?”

Me: “He is currently working on a couple racquets, and he has some skis to work on.”

Customer: “I want you guys to do mine first. Why should I have to wait?”

Me: “If we put you before the other customers, they will be just as mad, if not more, because they will have been waiting longer, just to be told they have to wait even more.”

Customer: “Well, that’s a problem your manager can deal with when it happens!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you will either have to wait, or go somewhere else.”

Customer: “This is bulls***. I’m contacting the store manager.” *storms off*

(It is our annual Christmas luncheon. I work for a decently large retail and pharmacy company at the warehouse that supplies all our store locations. Our executive vice-president and chief operating officer is in attendance, giving a speech thanking all our temporary workers. He says if they have any comments to please not hesitate. A temp worker then raises his hand, so our COO lets him speak.)

Temp: “Yeah, since you’re here, I have a complaint to make. The toilet paper in the warehouse is pretty rough. I’ve been next door, and theirs seems softer, so I was wondering if we could get better toilet paper here, because I have to go like three times a day and my a** is getting pretty sore.”

(Our COO, fortunately, handles it pretty tactfully.)

Chief Operating Officer: “Well, I’m sorry to hear your bottom has been hurt, but I assure you that at head office we use the same toilet paper, so we’re all in it together.”

(This restaurant opens at 8:30 for breakfast. On weekends, it is usually full up with a line by 8:45, so my partner and I arrive about 8:15 to get there before the rush. We stand outside reading. There are two workers inside getting ready. At 8:20, a man arrives and starts banging hard on the door. The women inside ignore him for a minute, but then he starts yelling.)

Man: “Open up! Come on; I’m waiting!”

Waitress: *opening the door a crack* “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t open for another ten minutes, and we need the time to get ready. Please just wait in line behind these ladies.”

Man: “But you’re in there already. I want to sit down and start drinking coffee!”

Waitress: “The coffee isn’t ready yet. It’ll just be a few more minutes; then we can let you in.”

Man: “That’s bulls***! You’re in there already! I was going to meet six buddies here, but now I’m going to call them and tell them to meet me somewhere else. You’re losing a lot of business!”

Waitress: “Okay.”

(The man stalks off. The three of us watch him get in his car and drive away.)

Waitress: *turning to us and opening the door wide* “Would you ladies like to wait inside?”

(My house is right across the street from a strip mall which, while occasionally convenient, doesn’t have a grocery store. I’m waiting at a bus stop so I can go to a different mall, which does sell food, when a very nice taxi driver parks beside the bus stop.)

Taxi Driver: “Do you need a ride somewhere?”

Me: “Yes, thank you.”

(I get in the cab and this happens.)

Taxi Driver: “Where would you like to go?”

Me: “Not too far, just to [Mall across the street].”

Taxi Driver: “That’s right here; can’t you walk?”

Me: “Not that mall, I mean the one with [Grocery Store].”

Taxi Driver: “What mall is that?”

Me: “Well… um… It has [Restaurant exclusive to that mall].”

Taxi Driver: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Me: “I’ll take the bus. Sorry about that.”

Taxi Driver: “That’s okay.”

(I got out of the cab. That’s when it occurred to me that I didn’t know the name of the mall where I had been buying my food for four years. I started paying more attention after that.)

Did you find this story using our Taxi Diver roundup?

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!