It Can Be Costly Being A B****

, , , , , , | Right | November 26, 2018

I work as a valet for a parking garage downtown. All of our parking spaces are reserved, and we do not offer self-parking at this location, as every space either belongs to a tenant for the office building above — they pay monthly for their own guaranteed space — or is reserved for us, as we valet customers for [High-End Business] in the building above us.

Time after time, even though it clearly states that we do not offer self-parking — in three spots, including as you grab your ticket from the machine as you enter the garage — I get people who ask where the self-parking is. I explain that either I park their vehicle for them in this garage, or they can use the self-parking lot, which I direct them to. Since valet is complimentary, most customers don’t mind.

Today, some lady comes in as I am manoeuvring vehicles around to let someone leave, and she parks in a reserved spot. She steps out of her Porsche and starts getting some things. I roll down the window and tell her she is parked illegally and needs to move her vehicle. She scoffs and goes back to her things. I finish moving vehicles around, and tell her again that she’s illegally parked and if the tenant comes back — which I know he is going to, since I literally spoke to him about twenty minutes ago — I will have to boot her vehicle.

She scoffs at me again, shouting that she doesn’t give a f*** and, “I only have thirty minutes to do my project; I’m already late,” and walks away.

So, guess who’s coming back out to a boot on her vehicle? And guess who’s going to pay the $100 fine to get it off?

And to think, I had a valet ticket in my pocket. All she had to do was give me her last name and the keys and I could have taken over from there so she could get upstairs.

But, you wanted to be a b****; I hope it was worth your $100.

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Valet Away

, , , , , | Legal | August 12, 2018

(I arrive at work to find the assistant store manager looking frazzled.)

Manager: “You just missed the police.”

Me: “Why were the police here?”

Manager: “I had a customer call for a manager. He was very upset that an employee wouldn’t call the valet to return his car.”

Me: “We don’t have a valet…”

Manager: “Yup. He refused to believe that because he had given his keys to the valet and they drove away when he got here.”

Me: “Oh… oh, no.”

Manager: “Yeah, hence… police.”

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Interlocked Into That Price

, , | Right | February 9, 2015

(A customer comes in who has an “interlock” on his car, which is a system the courts here put on cars of people who get convicted of drink driving. The interlock will only allow the driver to start their car once they blow in a breath test and get a nil alcohol reading. I am nearly finished checking this customer’s car in when he advises me of this.)

Customer: “Yeah, so, my car has an interlock on it, just so you know”.

Me: “Ah, ok. Well, thanks for letting us know and due to this there will be an additional $25 fee on top of your parking total”.

Customer: “What?! That’s ridiculous! Why?”

Me: “Because, sir, due to the interlock you will have to park your car yourself in our facility and our staff will be unable to move your car at all until you return, which does make it harder for us to get to any other cars behind yours.”

(Customers has a grumble about this, and asks to speak to my supervisor, who tells him the exact same thing I have.)

Customer: “Why can’t you just blow in my interlock when you need to move it? Are you afraid you’ll get a positive reading? Do you drink at work or something?”

Supervisor: “No, sir. Not that that is your business but I DON’T drink at work and I will NOT blow into your interlock for OH&S reasons.”

(Customer finally agrees to pay the $25 fee but has to have the last word.)

Customer: “I think this is ridiculous; you guys certainly know how to milk the money out of people!”

Me: “Well, I guess it just doesn’t pay to drink and drive, does it, mate?”

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