My town’s water and sewer company offered $5 off per month if I signed up for e-billing instead of sending a paper copy. A few months after that, they rolled out paying online, as well. I logged in and tried to pay my first bill. 

Bill amount: $150

E-billing discount: -$5

Online Payment Processing Fee: $8

Total: $153

What? I canceled the payment and wrote a check like I had every month before. A few days later, I got a call from the company. 

Representative: “Hi, this is [Company]. We received your check for your electricity usage this month. We were just calling to let you know you can pay online and save the stamp, and the amount is automatically deducted from your bank account.”

Me: “Yes, but—”

Representative: “You’re actually saving $5 per month by not getting a paper bill. Saving money is great, right?”

Me: “But I’m being charged an $8 processing fee for paying online. So it would actually cost me more to pay online than to send a check.”

Representative: “Well… you could look at it that way. But you’re already saving paper and lessening the USPS load by not having a physical bill mailed to you.”

Me: “I know. Actually, where is your office?”

Representative: “[Address].”

Me: “Do you accept payments in person?”

Representative: “…yes.”

Me: “Wonderful! I won’t be mailing my check, then. I’ll just stop by. Thank you!”

Representative: “No, but—”

I hung up.

The next day, I saw my neighbor and told him what I was doing. He is elderly and doesn’t use the Internet much so I showed him how to set up an account using my phone. He handed me a check for his bill, minus the $5 for enrolling in paperless billing. I went to my other neighbors and friends in town and explained what I was doing. Many people didn’t even realize they were being charged extra for processing and handed me their sealed envelopes with the checks and bills right on the spot.

That Friday, I walked into the office with quite a few payments. The representative was sitting at the desk. 

Me: “Hi there.”

I handed him the stack.

Representative: “What is this?”

Me: “Oh, my neighbors gave me their bills to bring in. One trip, one person, and everyone saves money.”

Representative: “You can pay online.”

Me: “Oh, I know, but this saves us all the processing fee. Saving money is great, right?”

Representative: *With an attitude* “I have to process all of these before you can leave.”

Me: “No problem. I’ll wait.”

I sat down and waited. He rolled his eyes and got to it. Less than half an hour later, he had a stack of receipts for me. 

Representative: “You can go now.”

Me: “Thank you!”

I returned the receipts to the appropriate people. The next month, I collected even more bills. By the third month, I had over fifty bills to hand in. The representative looked like he was going to start foaming at the mouth.

Representative: “This is ridiculous.” *Louder* “I need a supervisor over here!”

Supervisor: “What’s going on?”

Representative: “She keeps bringing everyone’s bills to avoid the processing fee.”

Supervisor: “Paying online is quick, easy, and convenient, ma’am.”

Me: *Shrugging* “But this is cheaper, and I already come this way.”

Supervisor: “Well, yes, but this is a lot of work.”

Me: “I’m not breaking any rules, am I?”

Supervisor: “No…” *Sigh* “Okay, [Representative], I’ll help you.”

I was there for nearly two hours waiting for all of the payments to be processed. The week before the next bill was due (which happened to be December), I received an email. 

Email: “Merry Christmas, [Town] residents! As our gift to you, we have decided to waive the processing fee for all bills paid online for the next year. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Sincerely, [Supervisor].”

It’s been several years, and the processing fee still has not come back. I do feel bad for the representative who had to do all the paperwork, but I helped my neighbors save money and got a ridiculous fee revoked!

I work at a very small municipal water company in a tiny community, so it’s easy to get to know and enjoy your neighbors.

A bit of necessary preamble: Lines get replaced! Damage happens! When we damage stuff, it’s really easy to call the affected company and let them know. They come right out to repair it and bill us! Also, no work has been done recently at the address in this story.

One dear lady came in yesterday to ask if [Internet Service Provider] had called us.

Cue my nonplussed expression.

Me: “What do you mean?”

Lady: “My Internet was down for well over a week, and when the repairman came, he said that your company had hit the line and to take it up with you.”

I started internally laughing in greedy anticipation of my hopeful proposal.

Me: “Would you like me to call them back?”

She was initially taken aback that I would offer but agreed to come back the next day for exactly that. (A brief shout-out to my amazing boss, who not only approved this but didn’t make me clock out, even when she fully knew it might get spicy!)

She came in this afternoon.

After we dialed the repair line and stayed on hold for twenty-eight minutes, the poor human who had to take this call answered. After verifying Dearest Lady’s identity and account number, he asked how he could help.

Me: “My name is [My Name], calling from [Ye Olde Municipal Water Company]. Our mutual client was told by one of your representatives to take up her broken Internet line with us, and so she has. I am here! Now, did you expect me to go repair this d*** cable myself?”

There were two full seconds of silence.

Agent: “Again, my name is [Poor Harried Representative], and I am happy to take responsibility for this call…”

I lurked in the background finding the contact information for another ISP whilst they created a date for the repair. At the end, the agent said:

Agent: “Can I help with anything else?”

Me: “I hope you email the last person who helped [Lady] and let them know how stupid you felt getting this call, how stupid this call was, and how sorry I am that they didn’t receive it.”

Don’t f*** with my older HOA residents. I’m your huckleberry.

When I moved into my current place, they were with an energy company I didn’t want to use. I called, told them I was a new tenant, and gave them all the details. Then, I immediately made to switch. The switch got rejected.

I called to ask why. They said, “Oh, you have too many bills outstanding.” That was weird since I had JUST moved in. I’d had a confirmation email and letter saying an account had been opened for me, which had NO outstanding bills. I called them again, and they couldn’t understand what the problem was.

I even had one agent tell me:

Agent: “Well, yes. We reserve the right to reject a transfer if there are more than two bills outstanding.”

Me: “Okay. Can you tell me which two bills are outstanding?”

Agent: “There’s a bill of [amount #1] from [date #1] and one of [amount #2] from [date #2].”

Me: “Both of those dates were before I moved in here.”

Agent: *Repeating* “We reserve the right to reject a transfer if there are more than two bills outstanding.”

Me: “Fine. I’m going to apply to transfer again. If you reject it this time, I’m going to the Ombudsman, and I might even consider legal action.”

They did not stop the transfer.

At some point, I stopped getting bills from my energy company. I called them every month asking for them, and each time I was told that they would fix it and I should get a bill the next month. I was paying every month, so I wasn’t too bothered.

Then, I ended up moving, so I called to get my final bill.

Employee: “It looks like you haven’t been paying enough monthly and have accrued a balance of [amount over £500].”

This was a balance nobody had told me about for the ten months I had been calling to get a bill.

Employee: “If you don’t pay this balance now, it will be sent to debt collectors, which will affect your credit score.”

Me: “I had no idea I owed anything!”

Employee: “Well, didn’t you notice you weren’t getting bills?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, I was, which is why I called you, emailed you, and wrote you countless letters, and everyone promised they’d sort it.”

Still, somehow, it was my fault.

Employee: “I can see no such records on your account.”

Me: “I have kept thorough records of who I spoke to and when. I had the letters signed, and I have read receipts for the emails, so if you have no record, that’s your problem.”

Well, they sent it to collections when I couldn’t magically pay them over £500 right away — complete with a tonne of fees for non-payment. It wrecked my credit score, and at the time, I worked for a financial company. Such a thing could jeopardise my job.

I went straight to the Ombudsman, who ruled in my favour. I did still have to pay some of the bill since I had used the energy, but I was awarded some damages for the time I had spent contacting them to fix the issue and for them putting me in a position where I might lose my job.

This is one of many reasons I will never go with that company again. If I moved somewhere they supplied, I would switch.

I work for an energy start-up that does consultancy for utility companies. We get customer calls periodically.

Caller: “I want to sue your power company!”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me what happened?”

Caller: “My air conditioning broke down! I’m in Oklahoma! It’s a hundred degrees out here!”

I look up her account.

Me: “Ma’am, I can see that you’ve never once had it serviced.”

Caller: “I don’t have time for that!”

Me: “And you’ve turned down our phone calls since it was installed. We would have scheduled some servicing if you’d taken those calls.”

Caller: “Look! No one told me I need to have it checked up!”

Me: “Because you didn’t take the calls. We also sent you an email recommending it be serviced before the summer heat.”

Caller: “You should do more than just email!”

Me: “We do. We call. Next time, pick up. Now, would you like me to schedule a technician, or do you still plan to sue us?”

She went with the technician.