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A Waste Of Information

, , , , | Right | January 4, 2022

I work in a waste and recycling facility, and sometimes, if a customer is dropping off one item, they are allowed to go around the scale. A version of this conversation happens at least once a week when I’m ringing up customers. I need to get their vehicle information so I can let the appropriate destination know the vehicle is coming.

Me: “Okay, you’re all set. What are you driving today?”

Customer: “A 2017 Chevy Equinox Limited Edition with heated seats.”

Me: *Brain completely short-circuiting* “Okay, that’s an SUV?”

Customer: “It’s a Chevy.”

So is a Silverado! I can’t remember EVERY vehicle!

We Hope One Of Them Wasn’t Electrocuted!

, , , | Right | September 20, 2021

Me: “I’m calling about an overdue electricity account.

Customer: “You can’t cut me off! I have three or four children!

Country Living Is A Real Gas

, , , | Working | September 8, 2021

When I was a boy, we moved out of the city to an old farmhouse in the country. It wasn’t exactly remote, but it was in a very rural location, and the only main services it had were telephone and electricity — no gas, and water came from a borehole.

We were rather surprised by the arrival one day of a van from a British gas company. The van parked in the front drive, and the driver walked up to the door and knocked. Mum answered the door.

Mum: *Understandably confused* “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Man: *Presenting his ID* “Yes, [Gas Company]. I’m here to read the meter.”

Mum: “We don’t have gas.”

Man: “But I’m here to read the meter.”

Mum: “Well, if you can find one, you’re more than welcome to read it, but it must be very well hidden.”

The man from the gas company looked around at the beautiful country setting and nodded.

Man: “I thought it looked kind of an odd place to have gas.”

In a sort of appendix to the whole business, later that same year, the gas company sent a letter saying that they were assigning a new meter number and that the enclosed sticker should be attached to the gas meter — the gas meter that didn’t exist.

Signs Point To Business As Usual

, , , , , , | Working | September 2, 2021

I have a retired racing greyhound. Obviously, she loves to run, and one of the “rules” for adopting her was that she always has to either be in an enclosed area or on a leash. If she got out, we would never catch her!

We recently moved into a house with a fenced yard — yay! I ordered a sign for the gate that says, “Warning: There’s a greyhound in here. Keep gate closed at all times,” hoping that it would help the gate, you know, stay closed so I wouldn’t have to check it every time I let her out.

The very first person other than my fiancé and me to use the gate was a utility worker, coming to install a new water meter. As he needed to get into the basement, I told him to go around back and I would open the basement door. About an hour later, he was back at the front door to let me know he was finished. I’m sure you know where this is going.

Later, I noticed the gate was open. Luckily, we hadn’t actually moved the dog into the new house yet. We’re going to padlock the gate for extra security, but I’m a little bummed that my sign didn’t work at all. Although, as a reader of this site, I’m not sure what I expected.

Water You Doing With Your Water?!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: butterthenugget | August 8, 2021

Caller: “Hi, I was just calling in to see why my bill went up.”

Me: “It looks like your usage increased last year. We are seeing this a lot because of everything going on at the moment. Did you start working from home?”

Caller: “No, we weren’t working; we were just sitting in the garden.”

Me: “We have here that there are two children at the property. Were they home from school?”

Caller: “Well, yeah, but they weren’t showering all the time.”

Me: “But they were home a lot more than normal.”

Caller: “Yeah, but they weren’t using water.”

I got the customer to do a leak test because, apparently, nobody in the house was allowed to use the water except for a weekly shower, according to the caller and many others I have spoken to over the last year.

Yes, water can be expensive, and it’s a pain that we have to pay for something that is so basic for our survival, but it is clean and delivered straight to our houses which is better than a lot of people get.