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Large Signs, Larger Bags, And Even Larger Egos

, , , , , | Right | June 19, 2010

(A customer with a large bag enters the store.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. You’re going to have to check your bag there up at the front counter.”

Customer: “Why?! I’ve never had to before!”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s store policy.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! You’re doing this just because I’m not white! I guess non-white people aren’t welcome here!”

Me: “You’re more than welcome here, but it’s store policy that all shoppers check their bags.”

Customer: “Show me a sign that says this is your policy!”

(I take her up front and show her the large, bright-red sign with bold, white letters that says customers are required to check their bags before shopping.)

Customer: “You put this out because you saw me coming!”


This story is part of the Customers-Ignoring-Signs roundup!  This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

11 Stories About Customers Who Absolutely Hate To Read

 

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Read the Customers-Ignoring-Signs roundup!

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No Clue At The Zoo

, , , , , , | Right | May 4, 2010

(We are hosting a visiting special exhibit featuring animals endemic to Madagascar. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I don’t think I saw the Madagascar inside the exhibit.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “The Madagascar. Was that the furry thing in the glass cage?”

Me: “Madagascar is a country, ma’am. It’s an island nation off the coast of Africa.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! I’ve seen the movie!”


This story is part of our Clueless Zoo Customers roundup!

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Read the Clueless Zoo Customers roundup!


This story is part of our Geography roundup.

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Op-tickle Fibers

, , , , | Right | April 13, 2010

(I am in the middle of finishing the last download to fix a customer’s computer, but his Internet keeps resetting.)

Me: “Sorry the download didn’t work. Your Internet reset again. We will have to try it again and hopefully, it will finish this time.”

Customer: “You know, if you want to speed this up, all you have to do is take the mouse, and kinda rub it over the download box.”

Me: “I’m sorry, rub it over the download box?”

Customer: “Yeah, you know? If you tickle the download box with the mouse it goes faster. I thought you would know that, being a tech support guy and all.”


This story is part of our Weird Customers roundup!

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Read the Weird Customer roundup!

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Talk Is Cheap, Texting However…

, , , | Right | April 2, 2010

(A customer walks up to our cell phone store looking very frustrated.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, I have charges on my bill for text messaging, but I have unlimited texting. Why did you charge me?”

Me: “Ok, well let me look up your account and take a look.”

(I look up the account and notice that he activated his service two weeks ago and doesn’t have a balance yet.)

Me: “Sir, your balance right now is at $0.00. You don’t owe us anything yet.”

Customer: “Yeah, you said I do! You sent me a text message about it!”

(He pulls out his phone and shows me a text that says he owes $29.95 worth of texting to premium girls-chat website.)

Me: “We haven’t charged you, but that company charges you if you use their… services.”

Customer: “So I have to pay 29 bucks?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Well I’m going to delete her from my phone then, because she’s really expensive!”

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When Right Can Be Wrong

, , | Right | March 18, 2010

Me: “Sir, go ahead and right-click on the icon. Now, do you see that menu that appears when you right-click?”

Customer: “Nothing happened.”

Me: “That’s all right. If you double-click on the icon, does it open up the file?”

Customer: “Yeah, it opens it up. Just nothing happens when I right-click.”

Me: “Okay, have you had any issues with right-clicking before?”

Customer: “No, the mouse always clicks and opens whatever I click it on.”

Me: “Okay, try right-clicking on the icon again.”

Customer: “It’s still doing nothing.”

Me: “Is your mouse cursor on the icon?”

Customer: “Yeah, but if I move it any further to the right, it won’t be on the icon anymore.”


This story is part of our Terrible Tech Support Calls roundup!

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