That Is A Big Gelato-No-No

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2020

I work at a local, small-batch gelato place. During a fairly busy evening, a man comes up to the counter and orders a small gelato. While I’m scooping it for him, he says the following:

Customer: “I bet there’s a whole bunch of air in the bottom of that cup.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “It’s a money-making scheme. You probably just coat gelato over the top of the bowl and leave a whole bunch of air in the bottom.”

Me: “Actually, we use flat spatulas to scoop the gelato so that it fills up the entire cup.”

The man ignores what I say and proceeds to reach over the glass and grab the cup from my hands as I’m scooping it. He then uses his tasting spoon — used — to scoop all of the gelato out of the cup and onto the glass. He holds up the now empty cup.

Customer: “See? There’s nothing in there.”

Definitely one of my worst customer interactions.

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Not Dressed To Impress

, , , , | Working | November 20, 2020

I am looking for a dress for an event. This is during the global health crisis, so I’m forgiving of delayed shipping times, and it’s also why I order the dress early. I find a dress I really like on a major retail website, but they don’t stock the color I want in my size. I am able to find the same thing at an online boutique that my friend has had a good experience with.

I order the dress, but the first red flag comes up: I get a massive discount, about 75%. I get a confirmation email, my account is charged, and I’m told I’ll receive my order in about a week. It doesn’t come after two and a half weeks, so I email them. No response. I use the chat system on their website. There is no phone number or email address on their website, only their physical address. Their messages are formatted really weirdly, and I’ve typed them out like I got them.

Me: “Hello, I ordered a dress from you on April 30, and I was wondering when it was going to come. I did get an email that confirmed the purchase, but I didn’t get one that said it had been shipped.”

Company: “Hello, could you tell me your order number? Then I will help you check it.”

I send my order number.

Company: “Hello, your dress is ready for shipping. About seven days for shipping. My pleasure to help you.”

All right, cool. I can wait a few more days easily. The event is in July. Three more weeks go by, and it’s now the beginning of June. I haven’t gotten the dress or any emails about it.

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]. I ordered a dress for you on April 30. The order number is [number]. I got a purchase confirmation, and three weeks ago I was told it was ready to ship, but I never got an email saying it shipped. I was just wondering when it was going to ship and when it will arrive. I ordered this dress for an event on July 15, and I will need it by then. Thank you so much for your help.”

No response. The next day, I check the major online retailer again, and the dress I originally wanted is back in stock. I put it in my cart and return to the other site.

Me: “I have changed my mind on a purchase I made with you. I have not yet received my merchandise and I would like to know how to proceed on getting a refund.”

Immediately, I get a response.

Company: “Don’t worry.”

Twenty minutes later, I get an email.

Company: “Hello, your order has just been shipped out; tracking number will upload in twenty-four hours.”

Okay, fine. Maybe I’ll get the dress. The week before the event comes and still no dress.

Me: “Good evening, my order number is [number] and I would like to know the status of my order.”

Company: “Hello, we are making your dress.”

So, the dress I ordered months ago and was told had been shipped out is being made right now.

I look up their reviews on the site, but they’re all praising the company for their high-quality dresses for low prices. The only slightly negative review mentions a month for shipping, but that’s it.

I check another review site, and lo and behold, several people complain about never receiving their merchandise. One review even says that their credit card company mailed a claim to the address listed on the site and the address doesn’t exist. Come to find out, the company is based out of China, and they basically just take your money and run. They send products to a handful of customers and pay them to post multiple good reviews under different names. I’m finally fed up with the company and get back on the chat to have this message exchange.

Me: “I was told the dress shipped out a couple of weeks ago, and I still have not received it. I need this dress for an event next week, and I gave you ample time to deliver, even amidst the current health crisis, and you still have not come through.”

Company: “When do you want it?”

Me: “I need it by next Thursday so I’ll have it in time for my event.”

Company: “Can you give us more time? We can give partical refund to you.”

Yes, “partial” was misspelled. This just confirms my suspicions that it’s a scam.

Me: “I would need it by Friday at the latest. I am attending an event that night that I originally ordered the dress for. If you can’t get it to me by then, I need a full refund and I want you to cancel my order.”

I never get a response from the company after that. I email them and send multiple messages on the chat, but they don’t contact me again. I end up having to run to a local store and buy a dress that is nowhere near as nice as I wanted for the event because the one from the major online retailer also did not come in time. I file a complaint with the scam company and request a refund on PayPal, and they email me saying that the company has contacted them with a message for me and that they don’t want to talk to me.

Company: “We’re sorry you didn’t get your product, but we are a company and we cannot deal with this.”

I ended up just letting the $30 go, and I’m grateful my family was okay with me being in a plain white dress instead of an off-white lace dress like I was supposed to be.

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Let’s Hope Stupidity Isn’t Contagious, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | October 28, 2020

I’m a cashier. We have certain restaurant restrictions for health reasons. Half of our tables and chairs are tied up with ribbons in order for the customers to “get the message” that those particular tables and chairs are off-limits. We even have signs that say in huge, bold print, “This table is out of service.”

The evidence is plain as day.

And even now, I get pestered with the following questions and complaints:

Customer #1: “Can I sit here?”

Customer #2: “Is it okay if I squeeze in here?”

Customer #3: “Can my whole group fit in here?”

Customer #4: “What do you mean, I can’t sit here?”

Customer #5: “You mean I’ll have to eat my food outside?”

Customer #6: “So, where else am I supposed to sit?”

Customer #7: “You need more tables!”

Customer #8: “Those [expletive] signs!”

The worst part is that they act like this is somehow my fault, or they dare me to tell them otherwise, as if I can somehow pull a rabbit out of a hat.

It’s not my problem you’re bringing so many people to the restaurant at one time… half of which, I might add, aren’t even wearing masks like they’re supposed to. High school kids are the worst.

Let’s Hope Stupidity Isn’t Contagious

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A Lesson In Anatomy AND Interior Design!

, , , , , | Related | October 26, 2020

I’ve recently become pregnant and my toddler has noticed some of the changes my body is going through, particularly in the chest area.

Toddler: “What’s that?!”

My toddler points at the two protrusions visible under my shirt.

Me: “Nipples.”

They pull down my shirt.

Toddler: “NIPPLES.”

They point up at the light fixture with a removable glass cover which has a small detachable anchor.

Toddler: “NIPPLE!”

Me: “No, not a nipple. That’s just the light.”

My spouse walks in. Our toddler points at the light.

Toddler: “NOT A NIPPLE!”

Spouse: “…”

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Shout-Out To Frazzled Nurses!

, , , , , , | Healthy | October 18, 2020

In July, both my wife and I contract the illness the health crisis is centered on, and we are taken to the local hospital. However, because I have complications, it is decided that I need to be transferred to a larger hospital with a pulmonologist available.

I am transferred by ambulance to the bigger hospital where there are staff waiting to admit me. I am on a stretcher with various medical staff around me. There is one nurse doing transfer paperwork for me.

Nurse: “So, do you prefer to be called Dave or David?”

This question has me puzzled.

Me: “My name is John!

Nurse: “Oops, I really must check the paperwork properly!”

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