(When I am in college, I walk from my apartment to campus. On this particular day, it is raining fairly hard, so I’ve brought an umbrella, and since there is an umbrella stand near the entrance to one particular building I am going to, I choose to leave it in the stand rather than dragging it around with me. After I get done with class, I am coming back when I spot someone pulling my umbrella out of the rack.)

Me: “Hey! That’s actually mine!”

(The person turned to look at me before bolting through the doors, out into the still-pouring rain, not even opening the umbrella. They got about ten feet before tripping and falling on their face, then scrambling to their feet and keeping on running. The umbrella only cost me about ten dollars, and I did have to walk home in the rain after that, but I considered the slam to the hard pavement they had when they tripped to probably be sufficient punishment.)

(I work in the admissions office of a flagship University, answering phone calls, emails, etc.)

Lady: *calls* “Hello, I’d like to speak to the lawyer school.”

(I’m annoyed, because she could just call the number of the law school, but we get hundreds of calls like this, so it’s easier to just transfer them.)

Me: “All right, I’ll transfer you to the law school. Just one moment.”

Lady: “Excuse me?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Lady: “I said I want to talk to the lawyer school.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I can transfer you to the law school.”

Lady: “Are you stupid? Listen to what I’m saying. The lawyer school.”

Me: “Yes, the [Law School]…”

Lady: “Oh, my gosh. What is so hard about this? I want to talk to the lawyer school. The lawyer school.”

Me: *transfers her to the law school because I’m done with her*

(I work as a nurse in a cancer hospital. One day I see a teenage boy, maybe 15 or 16, standing at the front desk of our inpatient unit. As I have a few spare moments, and it doesn’t appear that anyone else has helped him yet, I walk over to him.)

Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Teenager: “Um, yeah. I’m here to see my Grandma?”

(Yes, it came out as a question, but I just brushed it off as being nerves at having to talk to a stranger.)

Me: “Fantastic! If you’ll just tell me her name, I can point you in the direction of her room.”

Teenager: “Uh… I don’t know.”

Me: *blank stare* “You don’t know what?”

Teenager: “I don’t know her name.”

(We blink at each other for a few seconds, as I’m too stunned to say anything.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I really don’t think I can help you out.”

(We have over 150 patients in our hospital. And how you don’t know your own grandma’s name is beyond me!)

(It’s been a fairly normal weekend afternoon when a man walks in with a paper package and wet rag under his arm, and a utility mask around his neck. Shortly afterwards, he puts the utility mask onto his face and continues walking around. A few minutes later, he approaches my coworker at the register and places the wet rag and paper package, which is also wet on the bottom, onto the counter.)

Customer: *mumbles something*

Coworker: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

Customer: *mumbles again*

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t understand you with the mask on; could you take it off for a moment?”

Customer: *sighs heavily and picks up the package and rag, then walks away*

Coworker: *looking to me* “What in the world just happened?”

(I find a customer with several queen-size bedding sets in her cart. I can tell she’s stressing over something, so I come up to help.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to find these sets that I’ve got in my cart, but I need them in a king size.”

Me: “Okay, let’s see…”

(After turning immediately to my left, I easily find the king-size bedding sets and pull them off the shelf for her. She seems incredulous.)

Customer: “Oh, are those the same sets?”

Me: “Well, yes, they’re the same ones you have in your cart, just in a king size.”

Customer: “How can you tell?”

(I look at the set through the clear packaging. This is a package where there’s a small picture and label on the front, but all sides of the package are crystal clear so you can see the sheets, pillowcases, decor pillows, and the comforter quite easily. I point out to her that not only is it the same color and pattern but that the name and description on the label is exactly the same. She points at the small picture on the package.)

Customer: “But this looks greener on the picture!”

Me: “Well, I don’t know about that.” *laughs* “I guess there was just a printer error on the picture; maybe the printer was a little out of red ink or something? You can see that the comforter is exactly the same color as the one in your cart.”

Customer: “Can I get a discount, then?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Can I get a discount?”

Me: “For what?”

Customer: “Because this picture’s color is off! Because the printer wasn’t working?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Okay, sure, but only if you promise to take this picture out of the packaging and frame it up on your wall above your bed.”

Customer: “Okay!”

Me: “No.”