A Name That Just Rolls Off The Tongue

, , , | Right | May 8, 2018

(I take inbound calls for a national cell phone company in customer service.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

Me: “Hi, Mr. F*** You, how can I assist you today?”

Customer: *click*

Stupidosaurus Wrecks

, , , , | Right | May 4, 2018

(I intern at a museum in downtown Salt Lake City. It’s a really slow day, and only six customers find their way into the museum during my five-hour shift. A grandfather and his grandson come in. I’ve shown them around the museum, and I get to the science demonstrations. It’s some pretty simple stuff, like baking soda and vinegar, or other such scientific demonstrations. This exchange takes place after I’ve finished the experiments.)

Grandfather: “What dinosaur is that?” *points to a canine skeleton in the cabinet behind me*

Me: *trying not to laugh* “That’s a dog skeleton, sir.”

Grandfather: “Oh… Then, where are the dinosaurs?”

Me: “Sir, while this is a museum, we don’t have the space for such an exhibit.”

(My coworker cuts into the situation.)

Coworker: “He’s right, sir. We don’t have any fossils exhibited here right now.”

Grandfather: “Then, where is your dinosaur exhibit?”

Me: “…”

Coworker: “…”

(He continued asking me where the dinosaurs were, despite me telling him multiple times we didn’t have any. His grandson looked rather exasperated throughout the entire exchange.)

Baking Sodumb

, , , | Right | May 3, 2018

Customer: “Where is the soda?”

Me: “Oh, it’s right there, on aisle ten.”

Customer: “NO! Not that soda.”

Me: “Um… Which soda?”

Customer: “Baking soda.”

(She scoffed as if she couldn’t believe I didn’t know what she meant.)

Hats Off To Their Persistence

, , , | Right | April 25, 2018

(The dry cleaner where I work is typically very good at cleaning items without ruining anything. However, once in a while there are problems, so when taking in potentially problematic items, customers are required to sign a release form stating that we will not be held responsible. This particular customer dropped off a $200 Gucci hat, as well as a wedding dress, and is coming in to pick the hat up. The dress is not ready yet.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m just here to pick up my hat; here’s the number you gave me.”

Me: “Sure thing. I’ll have it out for you in just a moment.”

(I go to the back and grab her hat, and I don’t notice anything wrong with it at first.)

Me: “Here you go!”

(She takes, it, and then:)

Customer: “My hat is ruined! This was $200, you know, and now it’s all crinkly, and not the right size anymore!”

Me: “I’m very sorry about that. If you’d like, you can fill out this form, and leave the hat here for my boss to look at.”

Customer:No! You ruined it! I brought it in because it was stinky, and now I can’t even wear it! My husband’s a lawyer, and he will sue you over this! Where’s my dress? I want to see my dress! You better not have messed that up, too! It was from Mexico!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but as we send all clothes to our store in [Neighboring City] to be cleaned, I do not have your dress here yet. It will be back in on Friday. If you need to see it earlier, you could go to [Neighboring City] on Thursday evening.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that! You ruined my hat, and you’ve probably lost my dress!”

(She then stomped out, leaving the hat on the counter. I put it in back with an explanation as to what happened. On Friday afternoon the customer came back in for her dress. The dress came back perfect, and we haven’t seen this customer since.)


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Unfiltered Story #109183

, , | Unfiltered | April 22, 2018

(As a 16 year old female, I was working at my first job as a hostess at a local steakhouse. Around lunch time a large man walks in wearing nothing but a blue button-up shirt, boxers, and shoes. He was also carrying two large cans of vegetables.)

Customer: “Can I use your guys’ restroom?”

Me:*nods and points to our restroom on the other side of the restaurant*

Customer: “Mind if I leave these here?” *Sets cans on bench in the waiting area*

Me: “Uh…”

(He then heads to the restroom while I quickly find the manager.)

Me: “Hey, [manager]! There’s a guy in our bathroom not wearing any pants.”

Manager: “I’ll take care of this, you go on back to the host stand.”

(Next thing I knew, the man was being escorted out of the restaurant by [manager].)

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