I work at a large electronics retailer for about a month during the holidays. A customer, a fast-talking, angry man talking on his Bluetooth headset and dressed in a suit and a tie approaches my cash register. I start to ring up his items.

Customer: “Would you hurry?”

It is literally forty-five seconds after he first stood in line and fifteen seconds since he came to my register.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have to scan these items and it takes a minute. I’ll make it quick.”

The customer continues talking to whoever is on his headset.

Customer: “Yeah, this idiot at [Store] is taking forever to let me pay for my items.”

Me: “Sir, your total is [total].”

The customer shoves a card at me.

Customer: “Put it on this card!”

I run the card and it starts to print the receipt, along with a customer survey, and we are REQUIRED to inform the customer of it. It only prints out on maybe one of five receipts. We can tell when it was going to print because it will pause for a brief moment halfway through and then continue.

The general manager of the store is about fifteen or twenty feet away arranging some items on a display rack, so I know I HAVE to say it, or I’ll get written up.

Me: “Here is your receipt, sir, and I’m required to infor—”

Customer: “I don’t give a f***! I just want my receipt so I can get out of here!”

Me: “Sir, I need to tell you ab—”

My manager hears the commotion and comes over.

Manager: “Sir, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: *Rolling eyes* “I am in a huge hurry and this employee of yours is taking forever!”

The grand total of time the customer has been standing at my cash register is maybe three minutes.

Manager: “Sir, he is doing his job just like he has been instructed. It may take some time to g—”

Customer: “I JUST WANT MY RECEIPT SO I CAN GET THE F*** OUT OF THIS F****** STORE!”

Manager: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to remain civil or I will have you removed from the store.”

The customer flies into a rage and goes on a tirade about how we’re the worst store ever, etc. The manager responds in a tone way too cheerful for the situation.

Manager: “You know what, sir? I’m going to have to ask you to leave immediately and you are not welcome back in this store.”

The customer grabs his receipt violently out of my manager’s hands, nearly tearing it in half, and storms off, nearly plowing down another customer on the way in. 

Me: “Wow. What a jerk.”

Manager: “Go take a break and get a drink.”

Fortunately, I do not work retail now, nor am I even in a position where I have to detail with customers, so I will never encounter this again. I think it should be a rule that if a customer is being abusive to employees, a videotape of their abusive behavior should be shown to them so they can see what a terrible person they are.

I am working the day shift at a pizza joint. We have two drivers and one manager — me. I am busy helping a customer that has walked in to place his order when the phone rings.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]; could you please hold?”

Customer: “Sure.”

I thank her and go back to helping the man I was already helping place his order. After about three minutes, one driver comes back from his delivery and goes to answer the line on hold, but she’s already hung up. About a minute later, the same customer calls back and the driver answers the phone.

Driver: “Thank you for choosing [Pizza Place]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to speak with your manager!”

Driver: “Okay, ma’am, but she is busy right now so you’ll have to hold.”

Customer: “Ugh! Fine, I’ll hold.”

As soon as I finish helping the first customer — yes, he really took that long to order — I answer the phone.

Me: “This is the manager. How can I help you?”

Customer: “You have a girl there and she is putting people on hold and not getting back to them! I was on hold for at least ten minutes! This is completely ridiculous and the worst customer service I have ever received! You know, just because you work at a lowly pizza place making minimum wage at your s*** job doesn’t mean you need to treat your customers like s***!”

Me: “Well, I am really sorry about that, ma’am, but at the time, I was the only one in the store and I was already helping another customer. According to my computer, you were on hold for three minutes and twenty-two seconds before hanging up. I really apologize about the wait, but I was already helping someone else.”

Customer: “Oh, so it was you who put me on hold! What the h*** do you mean, you’re the only one in the store? I just spoke with a male two minutes ago.”

Me: “Yes, that would be my driver. He had just barely gotten back from a delivery when you had hung up and called back. He’s already left on another delivery and once again, it is just me in the store.”

Customer: “You know what?! You are extremely rude. That is just rude customer service. Maybe if you spent a little less time on your a** and a little more time learning appropriate customer service, you would be working at such a low-end, no-education job. This is just complete crap! I’ve had it with your d*** pizza place and I want the number for corporate!”

I kindly gave her the number and we never heard anything ever again, not even from corporate. We usually get an email for every single customer complaint, no matter how small.

I used to work in a thrift store. And without a doubt, the very worst part of working there was the hagglers. Customers always assumed they knew how much something was really worth, especially in the collectibles section. I never bothered to count how many customers gave me grief about the prices, even though I had no control over the prices whatsoever.

At least once or twice, somebody had the gall to tell me to go to the back and tell the people who put on the price stickers that their prices were much too high, and one old man told me to my face that God didn’t love me because I was robbing the customers of their hard-earned money.

I especially dreaded when the workers put two different stickers on the same item by mistake, because the customer would demand the lower price every time. 

We had a few regular hagglers and my stomach would sink to my shoes every time I saw them. My most memorable moment was when a regular came by like usual, and I dreaded her the most because she was the “my way or the highway” kind of person. While she never got physically aggressive or anything, I could just tell she was a woman who knew what she wanted and wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

I can’t remember what item it was, but she was very adamant about purchasing a particular collectible that day while being just as adamant about not buying it for full price. As usual, she tried everything possible to get us to knock the price down, and she hung around the area for at least an hour. 

When she walked away for a bit, a man came to collectibles, saw that same item, and decided to buy it. He didn’t say anything about how much it cost; he just wanted it. How could I refuse? I wrote him the sales ticket, he came back with his receipt in good time, and he left with his little prize fair and square. 

You guessed it: the same lady came back — I swear my heart skipped a beat or two — and saw that the item was gone, and all I can tell you is that she was not a happy camper.

It was all I could do to refrain from telling her, “Well, gee, lady, maybe if you weren’t so picky about the price, you could have gotten your hands on it first. And you wouldn’t have saved that much money, anyway.”

I totally understand people who must stick to a strict budget, and I understand the need to save. Even so, as I witnessed there, and still witness from time to time at my current job, the lengths some people will go to save a measly two or three bucks are simply astounding.

(I am working the late shift at a pizza delivery place when a customer asks to speak to the manager.)

Customer: “I had an order earlier today delivered to the [Inn] and it was completely wrong.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem. Would you know the order number? It will be listed on a tag that will be on your box.”

Customer: “No, I was so furious that it was wrong that I just threw the boxes away.”

Me: “Okay, then I will just look up the address.”

(We have had no deliveries to the [Inn] all day.)

Me: “Huh, that’s weird. It seems we don’t even have any orders for there at all for the whole day. Well, maybe if I can figure out who your driver was, we can go from there. Do you remember what he looked like?”

Customer: “Yeah, uh, he was kind of tall with brown hair.”

Me: “Okay, okay. Well, some of our drivers have different colored shirts. Do you remember what color shirt he was wearing?”

Customer: “Yeah, it was a mostly blue shirt that said [Chain] pizza with red and black on the shoulders and sleeves.”

Me: “You know, that’s so weird because none of our drivers wear a blue shirt. In fact, we don’t even have a uniform shirt like that, and most of our drivers wear black. Strange.”

Customer: “You know what? I’ll, uh… I’ll just call back later.”

(I’m behind the circulation desk at the library.)

Patron: “Hey, can you show me how to use the copier?”

(There is a copy machine, though minding it isn’t supposed to be my job. I walk him through the steps.)

Me: “Okay, you either put your original in this tray, or you can lift the lid and put it directly on the glass. Then, put in ten cents and—”

Patron: “Woah! Woah! I want a COPY! Not a Xeroc!”

(Yes, he does say it like “Xeroc.”)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patron: “I knew I should have gone to [Shipping Company]!”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t understand, sir—”

Patron: “If you put it through the tray it’s a copy, but if you lift the lid and put it on the glass it’s a Xerox! The judge won’t take a Xeroc!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you they’re the same thing.”

Patron: “I’ve spent a lot of money on this divorce! I’m not getting it thrown out because I showed up with a Xeroc!”

Me: “I assure you that Xerox is just another name for a copy, and you don’t have to use the lid if you don’t want to.”

Patron: “He said to bring a copy! Not a Xeroc!”

Me: “Okay, but here, look.”

(I make a copy with each method, and show them both to him.)

Me: “They’re exactly the same.”

Patron: “I knew I should have used [Shipping Company]! You don’t know anything!”

(He grabbed his copies and stormed out.)