A mother and her two young sons come in. Unfortunately, “Mommy” is more concerned with shopping than with her children’s safety. At most department stores, this one included, there are long metal poles with curves on the ends to take hangers with clothing off of high racks. These two boys have each taken one of the poles and are using them to sword fight.

I approach the boys and take away the “toys.” They are a few feet away from their mother.

Me: “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but you cannot play in this store; it is dangerous and rude. Furthermore, customers and employees here need to use these poles; they are not toys.”

Immediately, their mother starts swearing loudly and screaming at me about how I can’t tell her how to raise her children.

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t really care how you raise your children. I’m merely following store policy and we can’t have anyone using the store or our property like a playground.”

Customer: “I want to see your manager! You’re going to lose your job!”

Me: *Calmly* “My manager asked me to stop your children from using these to hurt themselves and other customers, but if you’d like to speak with her, please follow me; she’s right at the cash stand.”  

The customer follows me to my manager, swearing loudly the whole time. My manager listens to the customer.

Customer: “She grabbed my children and shook them and then called me a bad mother just because my sons were being a little loud! You need to fire this b**** immediately!”

My manager, who had heard and seen the whole incident from only about ten feet away, calmly repeated store policy and told the customer she was mistaken about me touching her children. When the customer threatened to sue, my manager explained again, very calmly, that the incident had been filmed by multiple cameras.

Suddenly, the customer walked off to shop some more.

A few minutes later, in another department, a coworker caught the boys playing with metal bars they had broken off a display rack. She took them away and went back to work because it was busy.

Apparently, the boys either found the same metal bars or broke another display rack to duel each other. I found the one passed/knocked out under a clothing rack in a nearby department with blood coming out of his ears because his brother had hit him too hard over the head with a metal bar and was afraid to tell anyone.

My manager called an ambulance and the police. It was several hours before the police found the mother. She had left the store with her purchases and the one child to do more shopping in the rest of the mall. She didn’t even notice her other son was gone!

When I am a teen, I am walking down the street, enjoying the summer sun, and sipping from a Gatorade bottle that I brought from my house. Set up in a parking lot along the street is a taco truck. I haven’t come within fifty feet of the truck.

A vendor leans out of the side of the truck and points at me.

Vendor: “Hey! Hey, you need to pay for that!”

Me: “Huh?”

Vendor: “You need to pay for that bottle!”

I shook my head at this and kept walking, but the guy actually climbed out of the truck and started chasing me. I ended up booking it down the street and outpacing him, but it was still one of the scariest events of my life at that point, and I ended up avoiding that stretch of street for a couple of years afterward.

The security system goes off as someone is leaving the library.

Librarian: “Miss, can you come back?”

The library patron is extremely upset and impatient.

Patron: “All I have is this DVD!”

Librarian: “I know. It’s probably fine as this happens sometimes, but we have to check.”

After acting upset and rude, she goes through security again and the library staff lets her go. Pointing to her outfit with no pockets, the library patron says:

Patron: “Where did you think I was going to hide something? Up my butt?”

She then proceeded to reach into her PURSE to get her sunglasses, an obvious place to put a DVD.

Related:
Security Insecurity

Customer: “I would like to order a pack of Martin Strings in the gauge of 9-46.”

Me: “Great, do you have an item number or SKU number for those strings?”

Customer: “No, I don’t, I just thought you would have that already.”

Me: “Well, sir, we sell thousands of different musical items every single day and it’s hard to keep record of everything. I would be happy to look that up for you, though.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks!”

As I’m pulling up the item on our website, the customer is mumbling something under his breath.

Me: “Okay, sir, I believe I found the set you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Now make sure it comes in the right tuning of EBGDAE, okay?”

Me: “Well, sir, the strings come how they come and it is up to you to tune them correctly.”

Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that they don’t come tuned?”

Me: “Sir, you have to put the strings on the guitar before you can tune them.”

Customer: “Well, I believe that is bad customer service. If you expect me to order, then you must make sure they are in the correct tuning.”

Me: “Sir, the strings don’t come in a tuning; the term ‘tuning’ refers to the tension you set the string on the guitar that creates a certain pitch. There is no such thing as strings that come in a standard tuning.”

Customer: “Fine. Then I will order from a different company that will tune them for me, so I can play my guitar without sounding like a [disabled slur].”

Me: “Okay, sir, make sure the next company you order from gets the standard tuning for you on the strings!”

I’m working the drive-thru of our newly-remodeled store and we are having promotions all month long. The current day’s promotion has been heavily advertised, even on the radio: the first 200 people to buy one [value meal] will get one free [sandwich] per week for a full year.

A man comes through the drive-thru during the promotion and demands the free sandwich deal. I calmly explain to him that we have repeatedly stated that the promotion is for dine-in only because we can’t have a line of hundreds of cars in our drive-thru. He continues to complain, even after I state that the giant line of people around the block have already ordered the promotion and he is not eligible.

Eventually, after several managers have explained the same thing, he peels out of the parking lot, nearly running over several small children and a radio station’s van.