Charity And Tolerance Aren’t Working Today

, , , , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I’m at the register, taking orders, all masked up, as usual. This fine lady waltzes in without a mask at all, so her fine face is on full public display.

Me: “I beg your pardon, ma’am; where’s your mask?”

Customer: “I don’t have one. Do you have a spare one?”

Me: “No, we don’t. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, can I place an order, anyway?”

Cue my manager. 

Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t serve you unless you have a mask.”

Customer: “Well, what about charity and tolerance?”

She says this in a rather whiny voice.

Manager: “We can still serve you in the drive-thru.”

Customer: “Can’t I pay for it here and then go through the drive-thru?” 

Manager: “No. Either go through the drive-thru or leave now.”

Customer: “Charity and tolerance! Remember charity and tolerance!”

Luckily, it didn’t escalate into anything serious. She did go through the drive-thru after all, and even then, she kept pulling that “charity and tolerance” card on us. Both my manager and I couldn’t stop rolling our eyes at each other.

Sure, lady, we’ll be REAL generous with the germs. We’re only wearing these masks for pure fashion.

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The Water’s Free And Somewhat Lucrative

, , , , , | Working | February 9, 2021

My boss is really cute and funny. Every so often, she gives us a little friendly competition to boost sales and morale at the same time. For instance, she’ll promise you a free lunch, dessert and all, if you make so many sales in one shift, or a small cash prize if you sell so many loaves of bread by the end of the month.

I have a tendency to repeat myself an awful lot. Being a cashier, that’s all part of the job. But one day, during a quick break, my boss mentions just how often I repeat certain phrases a day.

In this case, I tell customers who ask for water to drink, “Water’s free!”

Boss: “How many times do you think you say that in your whole shift? Go ahead, guess!”

Me: “Oh, I dunno… Thirty or so?”

Boss: *Teasingly* “Okay, thirty. Listen, I’ll make you a little bet. If you can say, ‘Water’s free,’ sixty times tomorrow, I’ll give you ten dollars!”

So, the very next day, when my shift begins, I get a little slip of paper, keep a pen close by, and tally the number of times I say that phrase.

Luckily for me, we have a HUGE turnout, with Thanksgiving just around the corner and people placing orders for our pies, breads, and cheesecakes like crazy. And, of course, there are the standard “take your friends/family out for breakfast/lunch” customers, as well.

At least half of them ask for water, and I’ll confess I milk it a little, but I make sure to mark down every single time I say those words out loud. After all, there is no rule that I can only say, “Free water,” once to a customer, or to only one customer in a large group!

The end result? Sixty-nine!

At the end of my shift, I present my special paper to my boss. She is a bit surprised at first, and then she bursts out laughing.

Boss: “Wow, I didn’t expect you to take this bet seriously! But a deal’s a deal.” 

And she handed the ten dollars right over!

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Two Conversations For The Price Of One

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2021

I work in IT and am trying to assist a user with a password reset. I’ve gotten the password generated and am starting to spell it out for her, giving her the letters phonetically, when I hear a loud crashing in the background, followed by her dog barking up a storm.

At first, I ignore it and try to continue giving her the password, but I quickly realize she isn’t even paying attention, because she’s started having a conversation with the delivery guy at the door!

She hasn’t said anything to me or asked me to wait or anything, just had a conversation with a delivery service while on the phone with me.

Pretty sure the phone was at her ear the entire time, too.

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His Frustration Level Is Rising…

, , , , | Healthy | January 29, 2021

It’s a couple of days before New Year’s, and our pharmacy has a ton of requests to doctors from everyone trying to get their prescriptions refilled before the new year starts. My coworker is telling us about a phone call she’s just had with a patient.

Coworker #1: “Oh, man, he was mad. He wanted a refill and the prescription is expired. We’ve already sent three or four requests to the doctor, but they haven’t responded yet. I don’t know what else he wanted me to do! I can’t make your doctor refill your [medication for erectile dysfunction]!”

Coworker #2: “I guess his year isn’t going out with a bang!”

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Aunty Is Unable To See The Meat Of The Matter

, , , , , , , , | Right | January 28, 2021

My family and I are visiting a well-known custom burger place. They have a large selection of toppings you can choose to put on your burger, and they even have the option to make a vegetarian burger. None of my family members are vegetarians.

We all start ordering our burgers. Then, my aunt orders a vegetarian burger. A few of us are surprised, but we say nothing about it. We get our peanuts and sit down to wait.

Once our order is called, we go get our food and dig in. At this point, the aunt speaks up, asking where the meat in her burger is. We point out that she asked specifically for a vegetarian burger and that it wouldn’t have meat for that very reason. After an argument with us, she gets up to demand that the staff remake the burger for her and include the meat she didn’t get.

They made her another burger. We made sure to go back the next day and apologize, and we never let her come with us again.

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