The company I work for has a group of employees with disabilities. [Coworker] is part of this group. I love working with him. He tells the best jokes and always greets people with a smile.

I was helping [Coworker] stock a shelf when a woman came plowing through with a cart. She clipped [Coworker] in the heel and only stopped to take an item from his hand. When she decided she didn’t want it, she put it on the wrong shelf.

Customer: “When will you start stocking [item]?”

Coworker: “I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “Ugh.” *To me* “You don’t look r*****ed.”

Me: *Blank stare*

Customer: “When will you start stocking [item]?”

Me: *Blank stare*

Customer: “What? Are you mad because I hurt his feelings? Do you think he even knows?”

Me: *Blank stare*

Customer: “Did I hurt your feelings, buddy?”

[Coworker] mimicked my stare. The customer started getting uneasy, looking back and forth between us.

Customer: “Well… if he had answered… I wouldn’t have said that, but… You know he’s not all there… STOP STARING AT ME AND SAY SOMETHING!”

We continued to stare at the woman without saying anything.

Customer: “Oh, my God! You’re both crazy!”

The woman left her cart and walked out of the store. Once she was out the door, we broke and laughed until we were nearly in tears. We checked [Coworker]’s heel, but it was unharmed.

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I am the author of this story.

My office periodically gives employees free T-shirts, typically with the name of the office and the name of the non-profit that my company paid for the T-shirts that year on them.

This year, the company has decided to do something new: they’re going to have a day where everyone who has one wears one of the yearly T-shirts given to them by the office.

As you’ve probably figured out at this point, I’ve developed something of a reputation at work for subverting dress codes.

For weeks before the actual event, I have people coming up to me offering advice on ways to subvert the dress code.

They suggested things like, “Wear the T-shirt as a doo-rag,” “Wear it as a belt,” “Chop the arms off to make it into a wifebeater,” “Wear it over your regular shirt,” and so on.

For each coworker that approaches me, I advise them to try it out themselves, too.

The day of the event arrives. Half of the office is subverting the code in some way, shape, or form.

I just wear the T-shirt normally. Everyone who knows my reputation and sees me wearing the T-shirt normally does a doubletake. Several of them start laughing.

Frankly, I just find T-shirts comfy. But I’m glad I cheered up some of my coworkers and accidentally caused a large portion of the office to act in something resembling solidarity to reject unusual dress codes.

Related:
Worst. Dress Code. Ever.
Worst. Prize. EVER.

I overhear a lady in the home improvement section of [Big Box Store] talking to two of the workers there.

Customer: “Could I just buy black paint and paint my light bulbs instead of buying a black light?”

This story would be bad enough with just that, but what made it worse is what the two workers said.

Worker #1: “You know, I don’t know.”

Worker #2: “Me, neither. Maybe give it a go and let us know what happens?”

I had to walk away, scared for humanity.

I am working tech support at a cable company back in the day.

Caller: “What’s the name of that Adam Sandler movie that was on TV last night?”

Me: “I don’t know. I work in technical support. You’ve come through to the technical support line.”

Caller: “Yes, and I technically need support! What was the movie?”

Me: *Naively thinking I can quickly help* “What channel was it on?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What time?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay… what was it about? Who else was in it?”

Caller: “It was with him and a girl.”

Me: “That’s not a lot to go on.”

Caller: “Oh, also while I have you, who was Julia Robert’s third husband?”

Me: “I can’t help you with any of these. Please call back if you have a technical support question.”

Caller: “Y’all Hollywood, aren’t you?”

Me: “No… this is technical support for [Cable Company].”

Caller: “Yeah, but aren’t y’all all in Hollywood? Go get somebody who knows.”

I explained one more time and then politely hung up. I told my manager about the call, and he wasn’t surprised. Apparently, a lot of callers think the movies shown on the cable channel are made right next door to the call center. Crazy.

I work at a health food store. A customer walks in.

Customer: “I have taken all your products, and nothing works. I want a pill that I can take once a day, smaller than an Advil, for losing weight. I want to be able to eat anything I want and not exercise and still lose at least ten pounds by the end of the month. I don’t want anything else, and if you don’t have this, I am going elsewhere.”

Me: “If you find that pill, you should market it because you’ll be a billionaire.”

Customer: “You’re going to let me go elsewhere?”

Me: “I don’t know where ‘elsewhere’ is, but it sounds like a magical place. Let me know when you find it!”

They stormed out without the magic diet pills.