I have a chronic sinus condition that gets aggravated by cold weather, so basically from November through March, I sound like I’m just getting over a head cold. If I actually DO get a cold, then taking full doses of every “severe” OTC medicine at once might get me down to normal levels of congestion. It’s tons of fun.

Since the Big Global Health Circus™ started, I’ve taken to just wearing a mask when going out during colder weather because I know I’m gonna be sniffing and coughing until I get back home and warm up fully. It doesn’t actually make me sniff LESS, but it seems to be enough of a signal of “I know I sound sick; I’m dealing with it” to keep the busybodies from forcing unsolicited advice on me.

Usually.

Today, I’m in line, minding my own business, when a “gentleman” walks up behind me. He’s wearing a particular red hat, a shirt espousing his choice for the long-resolved 2020 election, and a bad attitude. I wouldn’t have noticed any of this if he hadn’t started the conversation thusly.

Customer: “How come you’re wearing that slave collar?”

I slowly turn with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know the f***s in charge just tell you to wear that stupid s*** so they know who the f****** sheep are, right?”

Me: “Or, y’know, I’m possibly sick and I don’t want to spread germs?”

Customer: “That mask ain’t doin’ s***, and the f****** [Country] flu’s just a bunch of—”

As if subconsciously reacting to the man’s rant — and yes, he still calls it that racist thing — I suddenly get a tremendous built-up coughing fit. Thankfully, I feel it coming just enough to turn my head and plant my face into my elbow, mask still on, muffling it all as much as possible. After that’s all done, I also sneeze several times. Once I’m sure I’m done, my breathing is back to normal, and the spots are cleared from my eyes, I turn to look at him.

Me: “So, you’re saying you would have been fine if I just did that all over you and your groceries?”

The guy stared at me open-mouthed; I’m pretty sure he couldn’t figure out whether to be angry or disgusted. Thankfully, a spot opened up and I went to check out my few little things. I heard him start getting loud and angry behind me at someone working there.

Related:
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 29
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 28
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 27
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 26
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 25

I work in the registration department of a community college. I have a conversation like this at least once a month.

Customer: “Hi! I’d like to enroll.”

Me: “Great! Are you in a program?”

Customer: “No. What does that mean?”

Me: “That means you enroll in a program of study and you can get a certificate, diploma, or degree.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t want that. I just want to take classes.”

Me: “All righty, then. What do you want to take?”

Customer: “I don’t know… Normal stuff, I guess?”

Me: “Like math and English classes?”

Customer: “I guess.”

Me: “Okay, sounds good. You’ll need to go to the testing center or provide ACT or SAT scores in order to get placed properly.”

Customer: “No, that sounds too hard. Can’t I just take whatever class I want?”

Me: “No, there’re prerequisites that need to be met so we can make sure you find a class that fits your skill and comprehension levels.”

Customer: “Well, what doesn’t require test scores?”

Me: “I could try to find something in a subject you’re interested in… How about…”

I proceed to name off a dozen subjects only to get a blank stare in return.

Customer: “I just want to take a few classes.”

Me: “…”

Our utility company has a policy where we can only add someone’s name to an existing account if they happen to be the customer’s spouse; otherwise, they need to set up a new account.

A customer with us calls (and sent an email to us a few days back) asking what needs to be done to put his son’s name on the account so that he can obtain proof of residency. When I relay our policy (and have to do so several times over so he’ll get the hint), I get this.

Caller: “What if I’m his spouse?”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Caller: “What if I’m his spouse? Can you put his name on now?”

Me: “Uh… didn’t you tell me he was your son?”

Caller: “What if I lied? Can you put him in now?”

For obvious reasons, I did not put in his request; I instead told him to have his son call us to set up service and we could take it from there.

It is just after Easter, and a customer is buying four packets of chocolate eggs. The eggs are on pegs at the top of the shelf. There are some other leftover Easter products on the very bottom of the shelf. They are all BOGOF (buy one, get one free). There are three signs that state this on the very bottom of the shelf, where the BOGOF items are, in big letters. Also on the signs are the names of the products that are BOGOF. The eggs aren’t mentioned in this; therefore, it’s common sense to assume they are not part of it.

Customer: “Why have you charged me extra for these eggs? The signs say that they are buy-one-get-one-free!”

Me: “Oh, no, it’s not the eggs. It’s the chocolate on the bottom shelf, see?”

Customer: “It’s very misleading.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. Let me get the sign and check.”

Customer: *Huffs* “I don’t have time for this! I’m in a rush! I just told you that the signs are misleading! What are you going to do about this?”

Me: “Do you still want the eggs?”

Customer: “No. I’m not going to bother.”

Me: “Okay, give me one moment and I’ll take them off your transaction.”

Because we are short-staffed, I have been given the supervisor’s code and can do the voids myself. Because I’m not used to doing these, though, I am taking a while. The lady doesn’t like this one bit and starts acting a little strange.

Customer: “Why are you being so awkward? I know you’re doing this deliberately! You’ve tricked me into this. You’ve made the signs misleading on purpose, and now you’re deliberately keeping me here because you know I’m in a rush!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

I carry on, not as quickly as I’d like, removing the eggs from her transaction. Since she picked four packs up, this means I have to remove four items.

Customer: “I just told you! I’m in a rush! You’re just being slow on purpose! You people always make the signs misleading just to trick me! I’ll just leave my money here, because this is ridiculous and I don’t have time for this!”

Me: “Do you need the receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, you can leave your money on the side. I am very sorry for the inconvenience.”

She then left the shop. It was quite bizarre. I just find it funny that she’d think that. I wasn’t till-based that day, and I had a lot of things to do on the shop floor. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck on the till. I wanted the transaction to run smoothly just like she did!

I work in a college bar right off campus. Our day shifts are a mix of college kids and professors grabbing food on their lunch breaks and one specific vagabond “townie” most everyone in our little city recognizes. He usually comes in, takes his time with a $2 beer, and plays pool, darts, or some of the other games we have. One game he always dumps a few dollars into is a “Keymaster” game, which works a lot like a claw game in an arcade but has more “grown-up” prizes like Amazon gift cards, iPads, or cash. 

One, he comes up to me at the bar.

Townie: “I think that Keymaster game is rigged. I never win on that thing.”

Me: “Well, my guess is that it kind of is. It’s not going to give out the prizes until it’s made a certain amount of money. We don’t own the machine; I’m just guessing that’s how those things turn a profit.”

Townie: *A little annoyed* “If you’re telling me that game is rigged, I’m telling you I’m gonna come in here one day with a brick, bust it open, and take my prizes!”

I laugh it off. Again, he is a little rough around the edges, but he’s always around and never problematic. I joke about it with our owner and a few coworkers that day. 

Cut to a week later. It’s my day off, and I’m just hanging at home when I get a call from the owner. That’s never a good sign. Is he calling me in on my day off? Did I mess something up while closing last night? I pick up the phone, fully prepared to be told bad news, and the owner is cracking up laughing.

Owner: “He did it!” *Laughs* “He actually f****** did it!” *Laughs some more*

Me: “Who did what?!”

Owner: *In between more laughs* “[Townie] actually threw a brick through the Keymaster machine! Cops are coming up here. Would you mind swinging in and telling them what he told you last week?”

Me: “Holy s***! Yeah, no problem! I’ll be right in!”

Needless to say, [Townie] was caught. Maybe the biggest crime was the fact that he broke the glass, grabbed the small amount that he could, and left behind several hundred dollars’ worth of other prizes including cash, an iPad, and a $250 Delta gift card. I watched the surveillance video with the police and the owner, and it was well worth being called in for that on a day off!

Moral of the story: don’t confess to a crime in advance!