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She Thinks They’re All Lining Up Against Her

, , , , | Right | September 16, 2021

I’m waiting in line for my job for a store shopper app. The lines are kind of long and there are four people in front of me at the checkout. The cashier is finishing up checking out the first order. The second person is an older woman with a full cart. The man behind her has a few items. The woman behind him has a half-full cart and is talking with the teenager with her, and I’m behind her.

While the woman in front of me isn’t paying full attention, the woman second in line lets the guy with a few items go ahead. While he’s being checked out, the woman who was in front of him is putting her groceries on the belt.

The woman in front of me then notices something is off. She speaks to her teen.

Woman: “Weren’t we behind that man? Why is there someone else in front of us? I am sure we were behind him.”

Me: *Trying to tell her* “She let him in front of her.”

The woman with the teen then proceeds to leave the lane and go to the self-checkout. She starts complaining to the self-checkout employee.

Woman: “That’s ridiculous. I was behind that guy and suddenly there is someone else in front of me!”

Me: *From my lane* “She let him in front of her. Don’t complain unless you’ve been totally aware of what really is going on.”

At least that was one less person in front of me!

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Treat Me Like A Dog And I May Just Bite

, , , , | Learning | September 16, 2021

I work as a tutor for research methods in psychology. This is my fourth year, and I must say that I absolutely adore my job! If I didn’t have to get up so early for it — 8:00 am class, urgh — I would do it for free.

The class works like this: the students come over, we hand them worksheets, and they solve the problems. If they have questions, they can ask one of us.

Normally, the students are super nice, thankful for the help, and sweet, but a few weeks ago, I had my first entitled student encounter EVER!

I was sitting on my bench, scanning the class for raised hands, and this entitled first-year student snapped his fingers and whistled, and as I looked at him in disbelief, he waved at me in this “Italian mafioso” manner — outstretched arm, chin raised, not moving his hand, just making a “come here” motion with his fingers.

Really, he did almost all the disrespectful “calling someone” behaviours at once. I think there would only be shouting “garcon” left for him to be more of an idiot.

My boss was sitting right next to me and all she did was raise an eyebrow.

I went over to the student, ready to rumble.

Entitled Student: “Yeah, I don’t know how to solve this problem. Can’t find the approach.”

Me: “Okay, if you have a question, I am happy to help you. You can raise your hand or call my name, just like the other students do. What you cannot do to call me is snap your fingers, whistle, or gesture like a mafioso.”

Entitled Student: “What? Why?”

Me: “Because I am not a dog.”

Entitled Student: “Oh, come on. It’s not such a big deal.”

Me: “Actually, it is. It’s not appropriate. And now you’ve been told that it’s not appropriate, so I know for a fact that you’ve heard me. If you want help, call one of us in an appropriate manner or no one will react.”

With these words, I turned around and went back to the bench where my boss was still sitting. I told her what had happened and luckily, she approved.

The entitled student sat there for a while, stared at his paper, then packed his things and went home. 

I think that he learned his lesson as, the next week, he raised his hand when he had a question.

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Should Sell To Betta People

, , , , | Right | September 16, 2021

I am at a pet store looking for filter cartridges for my turtle tank. I am thinking about applying here because I love animals and have a decent amount of knowledge. An employee I’ve never met and I start up a conversation about moss balls, and since we’re having such a good conversation, I feel more inclined to ask for an application. Just as I’m about to ask, another customer approaches.

Customer: “Do these-looking fish—” *motions to the betta cups* “—eat the same stuff as the glowy fish?”

Employee: “No… No, ma’am. Why?”

Customer: “D***. My daughter wants these glowy fish now and I don’t want to buy any more stuff. She already has one of those frilly fish and she’s starting to get tired of it.”

Employee: *Hesitantly* “Would you be buying their own tank?”

Customer: “Um, no? They’ll live with the other fish.”

Employee: “Betta fish are aggressive and don’t home well with any other fish.”

Me: “Yes, they’ll kill any fish they’re put with.”

Customer: “How soon?”

Employee & Me: “What?”

Customer: “How soon will they kill each other? Because if I can keep them for a few weeks, that’s fine.”

Employee: “They will fight instantly.”

Customer: “Fine. I can always toss the fish.”

Me: *Fearful* “Like… rehoming them?”

Customer: “I can flush it. Right?”

Me: “Bettas are very nice fish. I’m sure one of your friends would be willing to take him in?”

Customer: *Bored* “Mhm.” *Walks off*

Me: *To the employee* “I was about to ask for an application but I… I don’t think I want to anymore.”

Employee: *Dead inside* “Wise.”

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Use… Less… Words

, , , | Right | September 15, 2021

One summer, I work at a restaurant about thirty minutes outside of Atlantic City, a touristy city on the Jersey coast known for its casinos. I am the cashier and part of my job is answering the phone.

Me: “Hello, [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling to see if you take reservations?”

Me: “We do, but only for parties of six or more.”

Caller: “Only six or more?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Only parties of six or more.”

Caller: *Sighing* “Well, okay. Um… I’m in Atlantic City and I need directions to where you are.”

Me: “Sure! No problem. You’re going to want to get on the Atlantic City Expressway and go to Exit Sev—”

Caller: “Hold on, hold on, I’m writing this down…” *Softer* “You’re going to want to get on the Atlantic City Expressway and go to… where again?”

Me: “Exit seventeen. Then take a left off the exit and go—”

Caller: “Hold on. I said I was writing this down.” *Softer* “Then take a left off the exit and go… where?”

The directions continue and it’s painfully obvious she’s writing down every word I say instead of short directions like, “Exit seventeen, turn left, go five miles, etc.” A five-minute conversation stretches into ten minutes and then…

Caller: “Okay, I got it. Do you take reservations?”

Me: *Deadpan* “Only for parties of six or more.”

Caller: “Oh… oh… Okay, bye.”

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These Employees Really Need To Ketchup

, , , , | Working | September 15, 2021

I am getting my son some food from a fast food place.

Me: “I would like a hamburger kids’ meal with ketchup only on the burger, extra fries, and white milk.”

Employee #1: “Is that everything but ketchup or ketchup only?”

Me: “Ketchup only.”

Employee #1: “And chocolate milk?”

Me: “White milk.”

I pull up and check my food because I am suspicious about it being incorrect. I pull out a burger wrapped in yellow. 

Me: “This is a cheeseburger.”

Employee #2: “That’s a hamburger.”

I look down at the burger in my hand.

Me: “Then why does it have a cheeseburger wrapper, say, ‘cheeseburger, ketchup only,’ and—” *opens the wrapper* “—have cheese on it?”

She asks me to pull ahead and I do. A little while later, a guy comes out and gives me a bag.

Employee #3: “Your hamburger.”

Me: “Ketchup only?”

Employee #3: “It was supposed to be ketchup only?”

A little while later, the third burger came out, and I finally got my son’s hamburger with only ketchup on it.

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