You Said It Wrong, Son

, , , , , | Right | October 11, 2017

(Granted, southern people tend to blur words together or pronounce them differently, but this one takes the cake. It is busy at this time at the library; we have just finished our story hour we have every week for preschoolers, so there’s a ton of people at the desk waiting to be checked out. A grandmother comes up to my desk to check out books for her grandson.)

Grandmother: *sweetly* “Do I have anything else out?”

Me: “Just one called The Son, by Philipp Meyer.”

Grandmother: *suddenly irate* “I’ve never checked that out!”

(I go through the spiel about her double-checking at home to make sure she really doesn’t have it there, and I offer to check upstairs on the bookshelf for it and call her later since we are so busy.)

Grandmother: “Go check. Now.”

(I am irritated because there are lines of people and she’s being so rude, but I know she probably left it at home. Most patrons who claim to have never checked out a particular book really do have it somewhere. While upstairs, I overhear a coworker ask her if she is being helped. She says yes in a snippy tone, pointing upstairs to me, but asks my coworker for the name of the book again.)

Coworker: “It’s The Son, by Philipp Meyer.”

Grandmother: “How’s it spelled?”

Coworker: “M-e-y-“

Grandmother: “No, the title.”

Coworker: “S-o-n.”

Grandmother: “Oh! I thought she meant The Sun, kinda like the one in the sky. Oh, yeah, I still have that at home by the bed.”

(With that, she left. I wondered how different I said “son” from “sun,” seeing as we’re both from the same Deep South town.)

Enough To Make You See Red

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2017

(I’m a customer in this. I hear two people yelling across the store as I shop.)

Customer #1: “Hey! [Customer #2]!”

Customer #2: “Can’t you see I’m busy?!”

Customer #1: “Oh, sorry! So, what color did you want: blue, yellow, green, or black?!”

Customer #2: “Hmm… Give me red!”

 

Transitioning To A New Wardrobe

, , , | Hopeless | October 10, 2017

(At my hotel, we occasionally have guests that stay with us for very long stretches of time, usually because of some issue with their homes. One such couple has at this point been staying with us for a few months, and has gotten to know the front desk staff very well. While they are staying with us, a member of our front desk staff officially comes out as transgender, identifying as female, and changes her name to suit. This couple is a bit caught off guard by it, but are very accepting, just like the staff is. One day, when my coworker is off, about a week after her transition, the couple comes up to me at the desk.)

Guest: “Um, hey, [My Name]. I wanted to ask you something.”

Me: “Sure. What’s up?”

Guest: “I don’t want to be presumptuous or offend her or anything, but do you think it would be okay for us to buy [Coworker] some clothes?”

(The guest’s wife and I both look a bit confused.)

Me: “Um… I would ask her that first, but why?”

Guest: “I’ve just noticed that she wears the same thing all the time, and I thought maybe she doesn’t have much to wear.”

(At this point, the penny drops, and the guest’s wife and I both start laughing.)

Guest: “What? What’s funny?”

Guest’s Wife: “You dip! That’s her uniform! All of the girls wear that! Haven’t you noticed [Coworker #2] and [Coworker #3] wear the same thing all the time too?”

Guest: “Well, [My Name] doesn’t wear it!”

Guest’s Wife: “Because she’s the manager!”

(We all had a good laugh about it, and they went on their way, but I thought it was super sweet that he’d offer to support someone like that through their transition, even if his concern was misplaced!)

It’s Snow Problem

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2017

(It has just snowed on the weekend, so our restaurant decides to close on Monday. We open the following day, and I come in for night shift. It is about 11:35 pm and I am getting ready to close at midnight. A customer comes in.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Hi. Um… I’ll have the… actually, wait.”

(I give her a confused look.)

Customer: “Was y’all closed yesterday?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The streets were really icy and a lot of our employees weren’t able to make—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “Are you serious?!” *She starts to yell* “I placed my order several times through the app! I called 62 times and nobody answered! I even have the call list to show you! And then I had to drive up here to find out that y’all was closed!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We didn’t realize the weather was going to—”

Customer: “NO! YOU’RE NOT SORRY! I NEEDED THE FOOD YESTERDAY! ME AND MY KIDS WERE REALLY HUNGRY AND BECAUSE Y’ALL WASN’T OPEN WE WASN’T ABLE TO EAT ANY FOOD!”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that, ma’am. Next time, I’ll let the sky know to not make it snow so you can eat.”

Customer: “Okay! Thank you!” *walks out happy*

Will Not Apologize For That Phrasing Choice

, , , , | Related | October 10, 2017

(A local theater company my family has been involved with for many years has recently gone through a change in leadership, resulting in some… unique situations. Many of the recent decisions have come across as direct attacks against me and my family, including the recent shutdown of a popular, successful, and influential teen group that I was president of, only to be replaced a few days later by a group that has no apparent differences except that we are not involved and the board, presumably, has much more control. While I hold no ill will against them for this, my parents are less forgiving.)

Mom: “Sometime before the first meeting of the new group, I want to post exactly what led up to the shutdown of the first group.”

Me: “Uh, okay, great, but… when you post it, can you try to be a little less confrontational than will come naturally to you?”

Mom: “Oh, don’t worry. I’m going to phrase it as an apology.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Mom: “Yes, I’m going to apologize that we got the group shut down by refusing to be the board’s doormats.”

Me: “…”

Mom: “Because we stood up for what we believed in, instead of bowing down to their so-called supremacy created through shadow government. They decided the only solution was to snatch the group away from all of the teens and create a new one where they have all the power.”

Me: “…O-Oh.”

Mom: “Not what you were thinking?”

Me: “I think we’re back to my original question.”

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