A Very Telling Conversation

, , , , , | Friendly | April 1, 2018

(I am a crossing guard. A little girl comes to my corner. Several boys are coming up the street behind her.)

Me: *to little girl* “How was your day?”

Little Girl: *silence*

Me: “Okay, you can cross. Have a nice day.”

Little Boy: “Did she tell on me?”

Me: “No, she didn’t say a word. What did you do that needs telling on?”

Little Boy: “Nothin’.”

No Eggs For You!

, , , , , , | Right | April 1, 2018

(Today is the day customers come in to pick up rental Easter Bunny costumes. I’m helping a man in his mid-60s, from a church, pick up his bunny. A coworker is helping another customer pick up her bunny.)

Man: *to fellow customer* “You look like you should be picking up the Playboy version of that costume.”

(Stunned silence from the three women at the counter: the customer, my coworker, and me.)

Unfiltered Story #108173

, , | Unfiltered | April 1, 2018

A woman and her mother wanted me to take them from their home to a Macy’s. Minutes later, we passed an exit and she tells me not to turn right. I told her that I knew that and asked her not to give me directions unless I asked. Later, we took a right, and suddenly, she started yelling at me for no good reason. I tried to calm her down and even pointed out that she typed in the wrong address, but she insisted that I wasn’t listening to her. She kept yelling at me so much that she distracted me from arriving at said Macy’s. When I tried to loop around, she said I was being rude and blamed me for her errors. Finally, she and her mother got out of the car. All the while, she was trying to call Uber’s support line, clearly with no idea of how to reach the company.

Unfiltered Story #108171

, , | Unfiltered | April 1, 2018

(My family is originally from Virginia, but my parents and a couple of my sisters moved to Florida a few years ago. My wife and I stayed in Virginia. It’s summer and we are visiting them. My wife and I were eating at the shrimp house for the first time. We are eating with the family the evening before we go home. My 14 year old niece brings a meal in from a neighboring restaurant because she is spoiled and never eats what the rest of the group eats.)

Waitress: (to my sister) Excuse me ma’am. Please don’t be mad at me but unfortunately you are not allowed to bring in meals from other restaurants. I don’t want to get in trouble with my manager and there is a sign stating this. (Points to sign clearly stating this rule.)

My sister: That is so ridiculous! She doesn’t eat meat and I told her she didn’t have to eat the food you all have here!

My brother-in-law: That is so stupid!

Waitress: I’m sorry. As I mentioned, the rule is posted and I don’t want to be in trouble. We do have vegetarian options! Feel free to check them out!

My sister: No! My daughter is a picky eater! The only reason we aren’t leaving is because my brother and his wife are not from around here and wanted to eat here! You’re not getting a tip from us!

Waitress: I’m sorry but that is the rule.

My mom: That’s stupid! Can I talk to a manager?

(The waitress proceeds to get a manager. My wife and I are clearly embarrassed by this. We are sitting there rolling our eyes while my sister and my parents continue to insult the manager. Thankfully the manager didn’t back down.)

My sister: She is just a little kid! She is a picky eater and I don’t think she should be forced to eat this food!

(Finally, my wife and I have heard more than enough and we chime in. The waitress is visibly upset)

Me: Guys! First of all, the rule is clearly posted. This is a restaurant! Not a cafeteria! She is 14 years old and going into high school. Therefore, she is not a little kid. She is more than old enough to eat what everybody else eats. She could have gotten some french fries or salad. If she couldn’t at least attempt to eat the food then that is a sign she needs to grow up or you could have eaten with her at the other restaurant. Quit acting like 5th graders.

(My family sighed at us the rest of the meal. We got our bills, which were separated. My family didn’t leave any tip. My wife and I left a $10 tip. After all my family left, I approached the waitress and manager.)

Me: Guys, I apologize for my family. Yes my niece is a very picky eater and she does not eat meat. I told them they could have gotten her a salad but she doesn’t eat vegetables either because my sister never made her eat what was fixed for supper. Instead, she always fixed her fries or a pizza..

Waitress: Don’t worry! I’ve dealt with worse customers than that. Your family is mild! We hope you enjoyed the beach here!

The Return Policy Has You Covered

, , , | Right | March 31, 2018

(I am a customer shopping at a music store that sells previously-owned CDs, vinyl records, etc. I observe the following situation at the counter. A woman in her late 50s or early 60s comes up to the register and throws a CD of a well-known folk rock singer on the counter. The album cover art is a drawing of two cute kids in a sort of 1960s style. Despite the picture, the songs in the album have some R-rated language, and even those that don’t sometimes have quite harsh and heart-breaking lyrics.)

Customer: “I want to return this and get my money back.”

Sales Clerk: “All our sales are final, ma’am, unless the CD is still in its packaging. We can accept it as a resale, though.”

Customer: “No, I want my money back. This is filth! I bought it for my grandson to listen to, and it is full of f-words! It’s completely inappropriate for young children!”

Sales Clerk: “Well, ma’am, this is an album by [Artist]. His music was never intended for young children.”

Customer: “There is a picture from a children’s book on the cover! You deliberately dupe your customers by putting filthy songs into envelopes from children’s music.”

Sales Clerk: “I assure you, ma’am, we have no control over the album cover art, or the lyrics. We just sell music. We don’t produce it.”

Another Customer: *browsing nearby* “Ever heard of not judging a book by its cover? The same goes for music and album covers. Who the hell buys [Artist] for a little kid?”

(The grandma customer ended up agreeing to a resale, and I ended up buying the CD for myself. This was one of the albums I was looking for, and they didn’t have any other copies.)

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