Watered Down Break

, , , , | Working | September 30, 2017

(I work in the jewelry section of a department store. It is completely enclosed by walls of glass cases, and at least one person has to be inside at all times. We have had several people quit and have been very low on staff, and I’ve been working serious overtime while we try to find new employees. Other than jewelry staff, only managers have the security clearance to come inside to cover my breaks. I’ve just called for coverage, as I’ve been the only person there for hours and it’s been a while since my lunch break.)

Manager: *walking past* “Hey, give me a few minutes, and then I can cover your bathroom break.”

Me: “I was actually just going to take a fifteen.”

Manager: *hesitates* “We really can’t allow any fifteens right now. We’re low on staff all around, and I’m the only manager here tonight.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Don’t worry about it.”

Manager: “I can cover you for the bathroom, if you need it.”

Me: “No, that’s fine. I was just going to sit and drink some water. We close in less than two hours, anyway.”

(I headed to the other end of the section to check on a customer. A few minutes later, I heard a clattering noise, and looked up to see my manager lifting a chair from the shoe section OVER the counter and dumping it into my section. He reached over to drop a bottle of water from the vending machine on top of it, gave me a thumbs up, and walked off.)

Gets Short About His Height

, , , | Friendly | September 30, 2017

(My friend is a very short: he’s five feet tall. He’s so insecure that he refuses to ask for help. My friend reaches for a soda on the top shelf.)

Me: “I can grab that for you.”

Friend: “No. I’ve got it.” *jumps for it*

Me: “You need to be careful; it might break.”

Friend: “Don’t.” *jump* “Need.” *jump* “Help!” *jump* “Aha!”

(He does manage to get a hold of it… for a second. It crashes to the floor and soda ends up everywhere.)

Friend: *embarrassed* “Whelp! Time to leave.”

Me: “Nope. You’re grabbing an employee while I wait here and try to prevent people from walking in it.”

(He tried to argue, but eventually got the employee. The worst part is, he works at a different store and complains about customers making messes all the time!)

Got Your Subspace Frequencies Crossed

, , , , , | Right | September 30, 2017

(I am at my first job. I answer the phone, and this conversation occurs.)

Me: “Hello! This is—”

Customer: “Is this is the Enterprise?”

(I freeze, confused, thinking that that he means the Starship Enterprise, like in “Star Trek.”)

Me: “No?”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

(I turned around to face my coworkers, absolute bafflement on my face. When they stopped laughing at my expression, my coworkers explained that there was a car dealership named Enterprise in the phone book, close to our job. That made much more sense than what I thought.)

Unfiltered Story #95738

| Unfiltered | September 30, 2017

I work for a pretty well-known software company doing application support. The application I support is an ERP system – so large that documentation does not usually go down to the nitty-gritty of how things are designed. We have a hot issue from a customer who just did a MASSIVE upgrade – we’re talking a decade or so worth of updates at once. Development has already sent a fix for them to test, but we send them a document from our Knowledge Base about a new-ish feature that may also be contributing to the problem. It’s a VERY thorough feature description with considerations and some potential impacts if customers have done certain things. (Note that we already had someone go over the whole feature and known issues with the customer.)

Customer updates the ticket: This document is focused specifically at the structure level, and does not provide any information on where it’s being used or the impact. It doesn’t mention this [completely unrelated thing]! That document is totally deficient and provides no information! If you’re going to use this feature in your delivered application, your document should point out every single place it’s used….in multiple places! All possible impacts of each use!

I begin messaging the manager when we see it.

Me: I’m….not quite sure how to respond to that as we already went over it with them…Also I’ve never seen someone get so angry at a document lol. They were perfectly happy on the phone.

Manager: I know!

Unfiltered Story #95734

, | Unfiltered | September 30, 2017

I work at a popular pizza and chicken buffet. A woman comes in with two small children in the middle of the afternoon.
Customer: Hi! I’d like to order a large beef and bacon pizza to go, please.
Me: Alrighty, that’ll be $13.09.
*Customer begins to write check*
Me: I’m sorry, but we don’t take checks. Do you have anything else?
Customer: *Huffs and closes checkbook* I guess I’ll just go to Pizza Hut then! I’ve been coming here for years! *Storms out*
At that point, I look down on the counter at a bright pink piece of paper that states we stopped taking personal checks in September of 2015.
Co-worker: How did she miss that in all those years?

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