When You Have A License But You’re Too Stupid To Use It

, , , | Right | April 16, 2021

I’m working at a gas station on the overnight shift. Our company policy is that we ID everyone. Forty-year-old police officer? ID. Eighty-year-old grandmother? ID. I get in the habit real fast to ask for everyone’s ID when they’re purchasing alcohol and tobacco.

A guy comes into my shop. I’m being trained by a coworker until her shift ends. This guy sets a case of beer on the counter. I greet him.

Me: “May I see your ID, please?”

He seems irritated but pulls his wallet out and hands me a driver’s license. It looks pretty beat up. There’s a crack all the way down in the center but it’s still intact. I check to make sure it’s his, and I know he’s old enough, so I just check the expiration date. His license expired over two years ago!

Me: “Sorry, sir, I won’t be able to sell you this case of beer since your license has expired.”

He’s obviously irritated and berates me for not making the sale.

Customer: “Why don’t you just grow up?!”

I informed him of the state’s law. He then opened his wallet again and handed me a brand-spanking-new license. I complied because I just wanted this guy to go. As I handed him his change, he looked at the coins I had just given him and dropped them on the counter, making a mess. Instantly, in my mind, I was like, “What the f***, dude?!”

The girl training me picked up his coins and handed them back to him and apologized. As he walked out the door, he glanced at me and told me again to grow up.

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This Dinosaur Needs To Get With The Times

, , , , , | Related | April 16, 2021

My husband and I have the only granddaughter and great-granddaughter on his side of the family. Because of this, his mom and grandma try to treat her like a princess with frilly and girly stuff. She loves pink but she also loves cars, dinosaurs, and playing rough with her male cousins. One summer, my husband’s grandma is visiting and watching our daughter playing with dinosaurs.

Grandma: “Brave of you to let her play with dinosaurs.”

Me: “Uh, why?”

Grandma: “I’m just surprised you allow her to play with things like cars and dinosaurs. She’s a girl. She should be playing with girl toys.”

Me: “What exactly are ‘girl’ toys? Dinosaurs are awesome. They’re for everyone. Not just boys.”

She said she’d be speaking with my husband about it later. He just laughed at her and told her the same response I had. She was not pleased.

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Another Day, Another Mouth-Breather

, , , , , | Right | April 16, 2021

I’m at the eye doctor waiting to be called when a guy comes in and loudly announces: 

Customer: “I guess I have to put on the face diaper.”

He puts on the mask but forgets to cover his nose.

Receptionist: “Please cover your nose.”

Customer: “I guess y’all don’t want me to be able to breathe. 666, a new world order is coming.”

He left without even letting them know what it was he needed.

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In Line And Out Of Line, Part 18

, , , | Right | April 16, 2021

I stop at the post office to send a package. Only ten people are allowed in the post office at one time due to social distancing. I am waiting outside the door when a man walks up right behind me, no mask in sight.

Customer: “You going in?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m next.

Customer: “So… go in.

Me: “They’re at capacity.”

I point at the sign right in front of us.

Customer: “Just go in.

Me: “Not yet.”

I turn away from him.

Customer: “If you’re not gonna go, I’m getting in front of you.

Me: “You need to back the f*** up and wait your turn. Kindergarteners can do it; so can you.”

The man took a step back — now a whole three feet from me — and kept making snide comments about everything from my “useless mask” to my disrespectful attitude. It was a whopping five minutes before a customer came out so I could go in. He tried to follow right after, but someone was inside the door.

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 17
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 16
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 15
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 14
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 13

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A Go-To Response For A To-Go Order

, , | Right | April 16, 2021

The owner of our twenty-four-hour restaurant doesn’t allow to-go orders to be placed over the phone after 10:00 pm due to many people not showing up after placing their order.

Caller: “I’d like to make a to-go order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take to-go orders over the phone after ten o’clock.”

Caller: “Oh, it’s okay because I’m in there all the time.”

Me: “Sorry. It is company policy, so we can’t do it.”

Caller: “I’m only ten minutes away, just around the corner, though.”

When I first started, I would usually apologise again and argue over and over, trying to get them to understand. However, this has become my go-to response the second they mention how far away they are.

Me: “Awesome! We’ll see you when you get here and you can place your order then! Bye!” *Click* 

Occasionally, we got callers who insisted on saying what they wanted to order, regardless of how many times we said it wasn’t allowed. At that point, I would let them talk until they were done. If they came in expecting their food to be ready, I would reiterate that we don’t take to-go orders over the phone and they could either order properly or not at all.

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