(I am helping a customer with their return and have learned to point out sales and coupons used from their original purchase.)

Me: “Ok, so that item had a sale price of [total] plus an additional discount of 20% so you get [amount] back.”

Customer: “Minus.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s a discount, so it’s minus, not plus.”

(Thinking she’s joking around, I counter:)

Me: “Or is could be thought of as you received one discount with the sale PLUS an additional discount with the coupon.”

Customer: “No. It doesn’t work that way. It’s minus. You’re taking money off.”

(At this point I realize she is completely serious and this is the battle she has chosen to fight this day. As my choice of language in no way hindered the actual return and not really caring one way or another I reply:)

Me: “Of course, ma’am. You are correct. Could you please accept the transaction on the pin pad?”

Customer: “It’s MINUS not plus!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I can stand here and argue all day!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, but I am not arguing with you. I am agreeing with you.”

Customer: “It is NOT plus!”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am.”

Customer: *gives a big sigh and rolls her eyes* “I hate this store.”

(Now, I don’t know if I ruined her day by wording things in a way that offended her sensibilities, or if I ruined her day because I wouldn’t argue with her about it, but either way, guess who got a complaint?)

(I work at a franchise pizza restaurant in my home town. It is a strictly delivery/carry-out place, and we tend to get pretty busy towards the end of the week. I usually work at the cut table, which is in full view of the counter. A particularly peeved looking customer walks in.)

Customer: “Hey! Somebody help me here; I’m already late!”

Manager: “So sorry, sir. I’ll be right with you.”

(He rings him up, and informs him his pizza will be ready momentarily. The customer huffs and stands by the wall to wait. I’m quickly and efficiently working the cut table, trying to keep up with two ovens. I come to the customer ‘s order.)

Me: *goes through the usual motions and then finds that the pizza is stuck to the pan* “Oh, no.”

(I frantically separate the pizza from the pan to keep up with the other orders and wind up destroying it in the process. I flip the pizza into the box and immediately yell for a remake. The customer, who saw me the entire time, yells for the manager.)

Manager: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “I saw that employee cutting my pizza. He’s got a real attitude problem! He got angry, destroyed my pizza, and threw it in a box! I demand you have him reprimanded.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. He wasn’t getting angry. Your pizza was stuck to the pan and he did the best he could with what he had while trying to keep up with the volume of orders still coming out of the ovens. We’re remaking your pizza as you speak. I can give you a store credit for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “I don’t care! I…”

(He continues to be irrational and abusive. At this point, a few of my coworkers I’m good friends with listen in while waiting on their deliveries.)

Me: “How are we coming with that re-make?”

Coworker: “It’s in the oven!”

(Eventually we get him the re-make. He walks out, then comes back in, whereupon he demands the original as well. The manager, sick of dealing with him, agrees. He finally leaves for real.)

Me: *flips off the door*

Coworker #1: “Prick!”

Coworker #2: *gives the universal “up yours” gesture*

Manager: *turns around, sees all of us* “Good riddance! [My Name], you did what you could. That guy had no right to accuse you like that.”

Coworker #1: *lightly punches my arm* “Although you need to work on your attitude problem, mister!”

(We all laughed and continued working. We never saw that customer again.)

My husband and I are walking into a store and as we are entering we have to walk around a large family.

As we are going around them, a woman comes running up behind me shoving me out of the way (actually hitting me with her cart and knocking me into one of the family members) yelling “I’m in a hurry!” as she flies by.

Everyone is kind of aghast for a minute and a store employee rushes over to check on me and offers to make her leave, but I’m okay and think it will be too much trouble to track her down in a crowded store.

We all go our separate ways…

…and my husband and I immediately run into the lady in a hurry as she is trying on lotions, testing out perfumes, and examining various types of glassware.

It was really clear she wasn’t in any type of hurry and she got more and more embarrassed every time she saw me. She was practically running away each time until eventually she just abandoned her cart in the middle of the main walkway and hightailed it out of the store.

(I work in a computer store in a department where we sell computer parts. We assist customers in picking out parts and sometimes assist with actually putting the computer together as well. Assisting a customer with a complete build is a long process, and often takes a few hours — sometimes a few hours on multiple days. I have been working with this one customer for two hours at this point, and until now he has been completely normal. We have parts for nearly the entire build picked out, and the only thing left is a wireless card, because he wants his desktop to have wi-fi.)

Customer: “Have you ever been a model?”

Me: “No, not really—”

Customer: “You should be a model.”

Me: “Haha. I’m not interested in—”

Customer: “I’m an artist.”

(I don’t respond. This customer has quickly been getting creepier. For some reason, he changes his entire way of speaking when this exchange begins. He starts speaking more nasally, and elongating the vowels in words. Plus, he cuts me off when I respond to him.)

Customer: “I’m an artist. You should let me draw you.”

Me: “Sir, I’m really not interested–”

Customer: “I can pay you 50 dollars to come to my studio. I have clothes for you, but you wouldn’t have to wear any.”

(While he’s saying this, a coworker, also a woman, happens to come across us and addresses him.)

Coworker: “Sir—”

Customer: “Ugh, I don’t want YOU. Whatever.”

(He turned and left in a huff. He didn’t buy anything, of course.)

(I am a bank teller in 2001. It’s important to note that this is a small grocery store branch so in that setting your coworkers are literally standing right next to you most of the time. A man approaches my window.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I lost my debit card and had to cancel it. What can I do to get a new one?”

Me: “That’s no problem. I can print out a form for us to fill out here and send it in for you. It can take up to 7-10 business days to process and it will be mailed to your address.”

Customer: “What?! That’s too long. I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Okay. Another option is here in the branch we can make you an ‘instant’ ATM card today but unfortunately they only work at ATMs. You would not be able to use it to make purchases but you can still get one of those in the meantime while you wait for the new debit card.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Okay. Another option is you can cash a check here with us to get money. I can even print a counter check for you if you don’t have any checks.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Okay. Another option is if you have a credit card you can make your daily purchases with that and then pay the balance daily to avoid any interest.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: *dumbfounded and out of ideas; those really are all the options* “Okay… well… I’m… sorry?”

Customer: *says nothing, walks off*

(I found out later that he had come back and complained about my “attitude” to my branch manager who was not there at the time. My coworker, who was standing right next to me during the entire exchange, backed me up. She said I was nothing but polite and helpful and the man simply wasn’t interested in working with us to get his problem resolved. She saved me from possibly getting written up.)