(I work for an automobile insurance company. My customer is responsible for an accident and I am trying to help out the innocent party. We have already inspected her vehicle in person and given her a check for the estimate at the time of inspection. The total damages are $2,000.00, rounded down, and her vehicle is safe to drive. A couple of weeks later, we have set her up in a car rental while the vehicle is in the the body shop of her choice. She calls me when the repairs have been completed.)

Caller: “I got a call from the body shop and they told me that the repairs are done.”

Me: “That’s great! Go ahead and return the car rental, and then pick up your fixed vehicle. Hopefully the shop has done a great job on your vehicle. If not, let me know.”

Caller: “Well, that’s the problem. I can’t pick up the vehicle; the shop needs to be paid first.”

Me: “No problem; just give them the $2,000.00 check that we gave to you at the time of inspection. I don’t see any notes that any additional damages were found, so that should cover everything.”

Caller: “I don’t have the check.”

Me: “Did you lose it? I can cancel and reissue it if needed. I can even send it directly to the shop to expedite it.”

Caller: “That would be great. Thanks.”

Me: “Okay, hold on.”

(I look at the system and realize that the check has already been cashed.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not able to cancel this check, as the system says it’s already been cashed.”

Caller: “Yes, I already cashed it.”

Me: “Okay, then just go ahead and pay the body shop directly.”

Caller: “I can’t afford that! I don’t have $2000!”

Me: “But I thought you cashed the check?”

Caller: “I did, but I cashed it at the check-cashing store and they took 4% of it!”

Me: “Why didn’t you just give the check to the shop?”

Caller: “Nobody ever told me that I can do that!”

Me: “All right, but you can still pay the shop the other 96% and we can try to figure out how to cover the balance.”

Caller: “I spent all of it! I don’t have that money anymore.”

Me: *assuming she spent it on necessities such as rent or food* “I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask what you spent it on?”

Caller: “Oh, I bought myself a new purse that I’ve been really wanting.”

Me: *stammering* “You bought yourself a new purse? Well, I would highly recommend that you return it so you can pay the shop.”

Caller: “I can’t do that; I already used it, and it’s been a few weeks, so I don’t know if I can return it anymore.”

Me: “Just to confirm, you are saying that you received a check that we wrote to you for the repairs of the vehicle, and you cashed that check at a check-cashing service and spent it on a new purse?”

Caller: “Yes, but this is your customer’s fault for hitting me. So, you have to pay to fix the car.”

Me: “No, we already paid for it; we don’t owe for anything more.”

Caller: “No, you have to pay to get my car out of the shop. You promised me you guys would cover everything.”

Me: “We did pay for everything; you just chose to use the money on a new purse, and we certainly do not owe for a new purse!”

Caller: “You better pay for it, or I’m going to say that I was injured, and then you’ll have to pay for that, too! I’ll get a lawyer and sue you!”

Me: “It has been over five weeks since the accident and this is the first time I am hearing about injuries. As a courtesy, I will let the body shop know what is going on and I will cover tomorrow as the last day of authorized car rental. You are welcome to stay in the car rental longer at the insurance company’s discounted rate, but we will no longer pay for anything further.”

Caller: “Oh, no, you don’t! I’m going to sue all of you!” *hangs up*

(I looked into it again a few months later. She never returned the car rental and the rental car company filed a police report as a stolen vehicle. She never picked up her fixed vehicle, which was thus considered “abandoned,” and the shop had to sell it! I have never heard from her or her lawyer. I waited until the statutes of limitations expired prior to sharing this story.)

This story is part of the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

Read the next Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup story!

Read the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

(I’m in line behind a man who has just paid for his coffee with cash.)

Cashier: “Here’s your change, sir.” *it’s a few coins*

Customer: “You mean trash.”

(The customer takes the change, tosses it in the trash can, and walks off.)

Me: *to the cashier* “Geez, ever heard of a tip jar? I think it’s illegal to throw money away. Was it just pennies?”

Cashier: “It was 29 cents!”

Me: “So, he got a quarter! I would have gladly taken it.” *in a mocking voice* “I’m too good for coins; I only use bills.”

Barista: “That’s what happens when you have too much money.”

(My sister and I are window-shopping through our local mall, and we happen to walk past several kiosk salespeople with aggressive tactics. We follow proper shopper protocol: don’t make eye contact, don’t even look at the kiosk for more than two seconds if you don’t want to buy anything, and speed-walk away if noticed. However, this one lady at a hair-care booth sees my well-groomed and naturally curly hair and decides to ignore any body language that says I’m not interested.)

Hair Lady #1: “Hey, you girlies ever straightened your hair?” *judgmentally, and directed right at me* “I know you haven’t!”

(I have to restrain my sister from decking her on the spot! Fortunately, the other, obviously better-trained saleslady pulls her aside.)

Hair Lady #2: “Never, ever, try to shame someone into buying your product! What is wrong with you!?”

(We go to that mall on a regular basis, and [Hair Lady #1] has not been back since that incident. Good riddance.)

(My fiancé and I have this silly thing where one of us will say something like, “There’s a cupcake,” and the other will say, “You’re a cupcake.” One day this backfires on him. My fiancé throws trash at the bin. It bounces off the rim and lands in a nearby box.)

Me: “Ohhhh, rebound!”

Fiancé: “You’re a rebound!”

(Moment of silence, followed by a moment of me pretending to be hurt.)

Fiancé: “I didn’t think that one through.”

(We are on a plane about to embark. Just as the plane is going to push back, the pilot gets on the loudspeaker. We’ve been delayed because a late passenger pushed through the emergency door and touched the plane, so it’s a federal matter. We have to see what the TSA and police want to do. We overhear a conversation between another passenger and a flight attendant.)

Passenger: “So, you stopped that lady from getting on the plane? Did you have to tackle her?”

Flight Attendant: “No, I just put my hand out, like so, and stopped her.” *pause* “At least we didn’t go United on her.”

(Other passengers go silent as we all process what she just said and then we cracked up laughing.)

Flight Attendant: “Oh, dear. I can’t believe I said that. Am I turning red?”

(She was. All the passengers that heard her loved it. Luckily, we left almost on time and not too delayed.)