(I’m working in the appliances section of an electronics store, and an old man comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where is the [Toothpaste]?”

Me: “I’m not sure. Wait, [Toothpaste]?”

Customer: “Yes, I know you sell it here. Where is it in your store?”

Me: “I’m a little confused. Where did you see that we carry [Toothpaste]?”

(The old man procures a copy of Consumer Reports magazine, and opens it to their reviews of various toothpastes. At the top of the page is the toothpaste he wants, with a little graphic that calls it out as a “best buy;” that is, a good thing to purchase. I explain it very carefully, and though disappointed, the man leaves my department. A few minutes later, over the walkie:)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name]. You know where everything is, right?”

Me: “Pretty much. Why?”

Manager: “Do you know where the [Toothpaste] is?”

(After working at a job vetting loan officers for a mortgage broker for a while, it comes to my attention that one of the industry rules that I’ve been enforcing with our subcontractors is incorrect. I thought licensed real estate agents could also originate mortgage loans as long as the loan officer was not also the real estate agent on the deal, which is not true — you cannot be a licensed real estate agent AND originate mortgages, period. A lender calls us out when one of our loan officers does just that, and they cite the federal regulation. I review it, and I learn that my understanding and our enforcement were incorrect. I bring this to the attention of the executives and they say, “We know. Keep doing it the way we’ve been doing it.” I respond in objection, not being comfortable with knowingly going against a federal regulation. The CEO calls me into his office.)

CEO: “[My Name], I understand your hesitation, but this isn’t that big of a deal. The way we’re following this rule is the way they really meant it.”

Me: “But the rule isn’t written that way, and the lender that discovered the issue clearly cares about the rule.”

CEO: “There are a lot of rules out there that aren’t really meant to be followed. Nobody gets hurt by not being too concerned with them.”

Me: “Okay. I have to be honest, though. This rule sounds like it’s in place to protect consumers from fraud.”

CEO: “Let me put it in a hypothetical. Let’s say you’re driving your car out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and you know there are no cars for miles. You come to a red stop light on this dead road. You sit there for a couple of minutes, there are no other cars for miles, and you know it will take at least two or three more minutes for the light to turn green for you. What would you do?”

Me: *through my teeth* “I’d probably run the light.”

CEO: “Yeah, you’d run the light. We all would. There are rules in place, and they’re good rules sometimes, but other times they are unnecessary. And that’s all we’re doing. We’re running a light on an empty road in the middle of the night. It’s not hurting anyone.”

(I submitted my resignation within 24 hours.)

(I work in the meat department of a neighborhood supermarket. Our actual meat room is downstairs, and we have a customer phone right at the meat case to call directly to the meat room. I am in the meat room, wrapping, when the phone rings.)

Me: “Meat department, can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, uh, can you tell me what a sirloin steak is? Is it, like, a steak-steak? Like, can you make a steak out of it?”

Me: *facepalm*

This story is part of the Steak roundup!

Read the next Steak roundup story!

Read the Steak roundup!

(My grandmother takes me to see the animated movie “Anastasia” when it comes out. We’ve only seen the first few minutes. All the narration has said so far is that the Czar used to rule Russia, Anastasia was his daughter, and Rasputin was a mystic who was close to the royal family. Accurate enough, and certainly recognizable as right before the Russian Revolution.)

Narration: “The year was nineteen hundred and sixteen.”

Grandma: “Did she say 1916 or 1960?”

Me: “I dunno.”

(Give me a break; I was seven. I think for a second.)

Me: “You were alive in 1960, and not in 1916. Do you remember this?”

Grandma: “This is based on something that really happened?”

(I’m still not sure if she actually forgot that the Russian Revolution happened and that Czars were a real thing, or if she didn’t realize that no matter how unrealistic the rest of the movie was, if it was set at the time of the revolution it would still have to be in 1916, not 1960.)

(I am the only employee cashiering in my section.)

Me: “Are you a member of our rewards program?”

Customer #1: “NO! And I don’t want to be! Your rewards are s***!”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I continue ringing her up. As I hit “total,” the register tells me that one of her items is on member special. I am required to tell her this.)

Me: “Ma’am, just so you know, if you sign up for our free rewards program, you can save [percentage] on this item.”

Customer #1: “I told you I didn’t want it!” *under her breath* “Stupid b****.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount]. Have a good day.”

(The next customer hands me her rewards card. The previous customer is apparently waiting for someone and is still in the shop.)

Me: *to [Customer #2]* “And because you’re a rewards member, you did get the member special, and you’ll get a coupon for gas savings. Your total is [amount].”

Customer #2: “Oh, go ahead and use my points.”

Me: “Sure.”

(The customer has over a hundred dollars in points, so this takes care of her whole purchase.)

Me: “And that paid for your purchase! Have a good one!”

Customer #1: “HEY! How come hers is free?! That’s discrimination! I want mine free! Get me your manager, you b****!”

Customer #2: “If you hadn’t been screaming at her and being rude, you would have heard her say that signing up for the membership would save you money! And they always tell you that the points are money! Why don’t you get the f*** out and leave that poor girl alone? She works hard enough without some moron like you ruining her day!”

(The first customer mumbled something under her breath and left. The second customer just smiled as she left. Wherever you are, ma’am, thank you!)