I Have 20/20-Dollar Vision

, , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(My father has been blind since he was a toddler. Before he retires he runs a small snack bar in our local city hall. Since it is not uncommon for people to lie to him about the denominations of bills he is given, he has a “verifier” machine he can run money through that tells him the amount of the currency. After I graduate, I spend my summer working for him. My father is on break, and a man approaches me with several items. He hands me a dollar bill.)

Customer: “That’s a twenty.”

Me: “No… This is a dollar.”

Customer: *becoming upset* “Well, I didn’t know you could see!” *storms out, leaving his items behind*

Me: *dumbfounded*

Even Iron Man Can’t Get This Done

, , , , , | Right | March 8, 2018

(I work at a historic site. We have been a museum for over 50 years and the site itself is several hundred years old. It was originally a home and ironworks that produced materials from the early railroads. The ironworks itself burned down in the early 1900s. Sitting at the front desk, I receive this call.)

Me: “Good morning. This is [Museum]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I have been looking at your website for a while and you seem to be what I need.”

Me: “Wonderful! Do you have questions about tours or programs?”

Customer: “No. I need some iron products created immediately, and I can pick them up from your ironworks early next week.”

Me: “Ma’am, we–”

(She interrupts me to describe these iron plates she needs, and each time I try to interject she gets louder and louder. Finally, after about seven minutes…)

Me: “Ma’am, we are a historic site. The ironworks itself burned down over 100 years ago.”

Customer: “So, the plates won’t be ready next week?”

Me: “They will not be ready ever.”

(Our website says, “historic site,” and, “museum,” all across the page.)

A Cancer On Society

, , , , | Friendly | March 8, 2018

(I’m 18 but look more like 13.)

Employee: “How are you today? You don’t look too well.”

Me: “Yeah, I’ve been sick, but I’m better than yesterday. Thanks for asking.”

Employee: “My mom also has cancer. I can give you the name of her oncologist, if you like.”

Me: “Um… I don’t have cancer.”

Employee: “Then what is a little girl like you doing with a shaved head? Where are your parents?”

Me: “I’m 18.”

Employee: “Then what are you doing with a shaved head, young lady?”

Me: “It’s my hairstyle?”

Employee: “But you’re a lady! Ladies don’t shave their heads.”

Me: “Well, congrats. You just met one that does. There’s hundreds of us out there.”

Employee: “There are also hundreds of thieves, murderers, drug addicts, smokers, cheaters, perverts, and so on out there, too. Doesn’t make it good.”

Me: “…”

Tired of being disrespected? Well, misery loves company. Join us at our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

Just Another Christmas Miracle

, , , , , , | Hopeless | March 8, 2018

A coworker’s husband, who is a department head at another grocery store, had a customer come through the cash lane with just about $50 worth of groceries. Her card was declined. She started crying and asked him to try it again. It was declined again. She explained that the problem with the card should have been fixed, and she didn’t know what to do, because she and her kids hadn’t eaten a real meal in three days.

Anyone in a position of power that works in retail has heard this type of story a million times, and at least 999,990 of them are scam artists trying to get stuff for free.

She asked him to hold her items while she made some phone calls in a last-ditch attempt to fix whatever was blocking her from her money. She called home. A kid answered. He could hear the voice on the other end say excitedly, “Mommy! Are we going to eat for Christmas?”

He decided to take the risk, and paid for her food, with several coworkers pitching in, which made her cry harder than before. I think of that family every year and I hope they’re doing better now!

Can’t Even Handle Five Dollars, Let Alone A Million

, , , , , | Right | March 8, 2018

(A customer walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

(The customer gives me a smile.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

(The customer puts a dollar bill on the counter, puts a bunch of coins on top of it, and slides it towards me.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

(The customer slides the money closer to me.)

Me: “What is it you want me to do with this?”

(The guy gives me a blank stare.)

Customer: “I want a five dollar bill for that.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I open the drawer, count his change, and give him a five dollar bill. He slides the bill back to me and stares again.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Can I buy five dollars of lottery with this?”

Me: “Oh, sure. You have to say that, though.”

Customer: “You couldn’t tell?”

Me: “No.”

(The guy gives me a blank stare.)

Me: “You could have paid with the change, too.”

Customer: “But I needed five dollars for lottery.”

Me: “The coin came to five dollars, though.”

Customer: “I guess it did.”

(I slide him the lottery ticket.)

Me: “Can I help you with anything else?”

(The customer walks away.)

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