Will Just Coupon And On And On And…

, , , | Right | June 1, 2017

(A major retailer is going out of business at the mall where I work, and a private liquidator company is taking care of the sales. Because of this, they’re not accepting any sales in ads, and they’re not taking any coupons. I work at a well-known chain bookstore not that far away from the closing store.)

Customer: *comes up to my cash register with her books*

Me: “Did you find everything okay today?” *finishes ringing while we exchange the usual retail pleasantries*

Customer: “I have this coupon as well.” *hands me a coupon from [Major Retailer] for 50% off a single item*

Me: “Ma’am, I’d love to accept that, but it’s for [Major Retailer].”

Customer: “Well, when I went to use it there, the lady told me I could use it at any other store but there.”

Me: “Ma’am, I think she meant any [Major Retailer] that isn’t going out of business.”

Customer: *obviously confused* “But she said any other store. Can I use it or not?”

Me: *just not feeling it* “Unfortunately, since your items are already on sale, I’m afraid I can’t use your coupon.”

Customer: *sighs and stuffs her coupon back in her purse, pays, and leaves*

(I just know she went to the next store on her list and tried to use that coupon again.)

A Couple Of Problems With That

, , , | Right | June 1, 2017

(Working in the deli we have customers who just want a certain amount of slices which is usually no problem. This was one of those other times.)

Customer: “I want a couple of slices of ham.”

Me: “Okay, two slices of ham.”

Customer: “No, a couple of slices.”

Me: “So two.”

Customer: “No! I said a couple of slices!”

Me: “How many do you want?”

Customer: “Three.”

Should The Board Be Worried?

, , , | Friendly | June 1, 2017

(Many years ago, before Facebook was even a thing, I was a member of an active Internet message board. We all had screen names that we used in lieu of our real names. Many of us became friends in real life, and attended various gatherings all over the country. For some reason, I became the one that everybody trusted with their real world contact information (email addresses, phone numbers, etc.), and if somebody went missing from the board for too long, I would be asked to check on them. So, cue a (male) member going missing for a couple weeks, who was usually on every day. Somebody asks me to call him, so I look through my info and dial the phone. Never had it dawned on me, until a female answers the phone, that I have no idea what this guy’s real name is… All I know is his screen name.)

Wife: “Hello?”

Me: “Um…”

Wife: “Who is this?”

Me: “Okay. This is going to sound super-strange, but is this the phone number belonging to somebody who uses the screen name [Screen Name] on the website [Message Board]?”

Wife: *long silence* “I think you maybe want my husband?”

Me: “I promise I’m not a crazy stalker; it’s just that he hasn’t been online and the board is worried about him.”

Wife: *laughing* “Honey! Come to the phone and tell your crazy friends that our computer has been down!”

(Needless to say, I made sure to note everybody’s real first name after that! He was back online a few days later.)

They’ll Find Something To Complain About Soon Enough

, , , , | Right | June 1, 2017

I am working as a server at a fast casual pizza restaurant. You order at the register and go sit anywhere in the restaurant with the number block you are given and food and drinks are brought to you. Two ladies come who are around their 50s-60s.

I bring them their drinks and do my spiel as being their server and whatnot. They keep talking over me so I just think, ‘F*** me, then.’

I come back later with their salads they each ordered which is about 5-8 minutes later.

It’s sorta busy that night so their pizza comes out about ten minutes later. I take it to their table and they have NOT touched their salad due to talking to each other. I name the pizza and leave it at their table and they just keep talking.

I don’t remember the amount of time they kept talking but by the time they finished talking, they realized the pizza was cold.

Another server helps them since I’m doing something else and apparently, they told the manager they wanted another pizza because their pizza came out TOO SOON and that it was cold.

I honestly never thought anyone would complain their food came out TOO SOON. They ended up getting a free pizza and their cold pizza boxed up.

But how entitled do you have to be to complain your food got cold because you were too busy talking?

Tearing Down Whatever You Built Up

, , , , , | Learning | June 1, 2017

One of the classes I take is basically a shop class. Our midterm grade is to build something for the area Inventor’s Fair.

I have a “friend” who can’t flesh out an original idea to save her life and while I have an idea, I can’t make it work. We end up partnering up — she fixes my idea– and we have the entirety of winter break to build the prototype and make the project’s poster-board and everything else for it. Well, we agree that I’ll do the research and poster-board because I’m not very good building things.

Halfway into break, I have the audacity to ask for pictures of the project for the board. She says, “Well, I built it, but it’s at my dad’s house in South Carolina and it wouldn’t fit in my bag to go on the plane home.”

I smelled bull-s***. But I thought, hey, we have a week still. It’ll be fine.

Every time I ask, and it gets to the point I’m asking everyday, she insists it’s at her dad’s, that he won’t send the pictures, that he’s being lazy, etc.

At this point I’m already rewriting the board and putting together a s*** prototype but a prototype which is the largest part of our grade.

Well, we present it, and she b****es eight ways to Sunday about the “plainness” of our board, and gets herself in trouble for continuing to decorate when the teacher says time’s up.

We go up and present. I have to present just about EVERYTHING because this girl doesn’t know a thing about what I had to do. All the pics are of me working, and the prototype is all my work.

Well, we survive, and I open up for questions and this girl says, before anyone can ask anything, “Just so you know, we had a better prototype that was pretty and well-made and all, but my dad’s being a butt and won’t send it.”

If looks could kill, I don’t know if the teacher or I would have killed her first.

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