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As Easy As 1, 3, 2

, , , | Right | February 4, 2009

Customer: “Hi. I ordered a movie a while back and I was wondering if it’s in yet.”

Me: *checking the order history* “Unfortunately, it hasn’t arrived yet. We’re still waiting on the distributor to send it to us.”

Customer: “Oh, well how long is it going to take? I’ve been waiting for three months.”

Me: “Actually my records indicate that you ordered the movie in October.”

Customer: “Exactly. October, September, November. Three months!”

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They Might Want A See A Doctor About That

, , , | Right | February 4, 2009

Elderly Female Customer: “Hello, I’m looking for DVDs by Andre Rieu. Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure… we have Andre just here on this end rack, then we have him in this stand as well. And we also have a huge section of him in our Easy Listening section, but if you head that way, give me a yell and I’ll help you out.”

Elderly Female Customer: “My, you have a lot of him, don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, he’s rather popular at the moment. Are you going to his tour?”

Elderly Female Customer: “Yes, I got my ticket first. Most of my friends like him as well. Well, except for two… but they don’t have souls.”

Me: “…”

The Price For Solitude

, , , | Right | February 3, 2009

Patient: “I want to know why I didn’t get a single room! I asked for a single room. I demand a single room!”

Me: “I’m sorry; every single room is currently occupied by patients who must be isolated.”

Patient: “I don’t get it. You have single rooms; why do you give those to other patients?”

Me: “The patients in our single rooms MUST have a single room for medical reasons. They have contagious illnesses.”

(I try to leave the room, but the patient jumps in front of the door.)

Patient: “You’re not leaving until you give me a single room! What do I have to do to get a single room?!”

Me: “This is ridiculous. The patients in those single rooms are contagious. We can’t put them in double rooms.”

Patient: *screaming* “What do I have to do to get a f****** single room?”

Me: “…catch tuberculosis?”

A Tasty Threat

, , , | Right | February 3, 2009

(At the security checkpoint, I observed a man walking up to the checkpoint with his luggage and a Tupperware container full of soup.)

Agent: “Sir, you can’t take that beyond this point.”

Customer: “But it’s my soup!”

Agent: “Sir, you can’t take a container bigger than three ounces.”

Customer: “But it’s my soup!

Agent: “I’m sorry, but you either have to eat it here or throw it away.”

Customer: “But… it’s delicious food!”

Not For All The Gold In Azeroth

, , , , | Right | February 3, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] Electronics. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Do you have World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade in stock?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Caller: “How much is it?”

Me: “$50, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh, well… if I sleep with you, can I get your discount?”

Me: “No, ma’am, unfortunately not.” *hangs up*

Manager: “You should have told her that you would increase the price of the game if she slept with you…”

This story is part of the Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup!

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