Remembering Where You Made The Purchase Is Kinda On You

, , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(It’s a wonderful day of both happy and unhappy customers when this couple comes up to our desk.)

Wife: “We ordered these items days ago and received a call from you saying that they were ready for pick up! But when we arrived and checked in, they said our items aren’t here! Where are they?!”

Me: “I am sorry for the confusion on this issue. May I please see your receipt?”

Wife: “I don’t have it.”

Me: “No problem. May I please have the phone number it was purchased under?”

(The wife gives me her phone number, but I can’t find her in our system. I ask for the husband’s number, as well, but his number doesn’t pull anything up, either.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I can’t find your order.”

Wife: “That makes no sense! I received a call from you saying it was in!”

Me: “May I please see the number that called you?”

(She pulls the number up on her phone.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that is not our phone number. That isn’t even the number for our corporate office.”

Wife: “How can that be?!”

Me: “I’m not sure, but it definitely isn’t our number. Let’s try this.”

(I call the number that called her, only to be answered by our competitor’s automated answering system down the road.)

Me: “Ma’am, this number is for [Competitor] up the road.”

Wife: “Well, how did that happen?!”

Husband: “Because they are the ones you made the order with.”

Having A Generational Blond Moment

, , , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

(My friend often touches up and edits photos from customers — in other words, Photoshop. One day a customer comes in looking upset.)

Customer: “Can you please restore my photo? I don’t know why my granddad’s hair is faded white. I need you to put black on it. He’s so young!”

(My friend takes a look at the photo. It’s a gritty black-and-white photo of a young man and woman. The man is Caucasian while the woman is East Asian. They look like a couple from their demeanor.)

Customer: “Please! It’s my only picture of my granddad. Read the back. And this is the first time I’ve ever laid eyes on him.”

Friend: “Ma’am… your granddad is Caucasian. He has blond hair. That’s why it looks ‘faded white.’”

Customer: “What? I’m Korean! How is that possible?”

Friend: “…”

Customer: “…”

Friend: “Well. All I can say is that this man in the photo has blond hair. There is nothing wrong with this photo.”

Customer: “I’m white? Really?”

Friend: “You’re mixed race.”

Customer: “…”

(The customer left with her mouth open.)

Been Waiting For 25 Years To Say That

, , , , , | | Friendly | July 19, 2019

I’ve recently gotten a job at a motor factory in the connecting department. Both connectors I work with are originally from Vietnam, and both are old enough to be my parents.

The woman and I talk quite a bit, as it’s easier for me to get physically get close enough for us to hear each other over the noise while still working, and one day she says, “You just look so familiar to me, and I don’t know why.”

I honestly can’t think why I would look familiar to her. I ask if she frequented a job I had at a convenience store for nearly ten years, but she hadn’t. We can’t think of any other reason and just shrug it off.

After a few weeks, we’re talking about music, and I mention that I took piano lessons for ten years, and that I ended up quitting lessons because I hated the recitals. She is mostly impressed that I kept with the lessons for so long, and she tells me about her oldest daughter who tried to take lessons for a few years but just never got into it.

I mention the music school I used to attend for private lessons and she actually pauses in what she’s doing to look at me again and she says, “You’re the little girl from [Music School]! You used to sit with me in the waiting room; my daughter had lessons with [Teacher] before you!”

Over 25 years later, and she still remembered me as “the little girl who sat in the waiting room with her.”

His Understanding Of Tech Security Has Expired

, , , | | Right | July 19, 2019

Me: “Good morning. This is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got locked out of my computer. Can I get a reset?”

Me: “Of course!” *gets a user ID, generates a new password, gives it to customer*

Customer: “Oh, look, it’s giving me the same error as before.”

Me: “What’s the error say?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Password Expired.’”

Me: “Yeah, these are only temporary passwords, so you’ll have to make up a new one to get in.”

Customer: “I HAVE TO MAKE UP A NEW PASSWORD?! I thought I could just keep typing in my old one until it worked!”

Me: “N-no. It doesn’t work like that… Sorry.”

She Will Shake Away The World

, , , , , , | | Healthy | July 19, 2019

(My seven-year-old daughter was recently tested for ADHD, which means she and I have to go back to the psychiatrist’s office two weeks later to review the results. While I am talking with the psychiatrist, my daughter is sitting on the floor playing with an Etch-a-Sketch. The psychiatrist is explaining to me that although my daughter does now have an ADHD diagnosis, she wasn’t able to specify a subtype. Specifically, the tests are less accurate with exceptionally bright children because if a task is designed to take ten minutes but the child solves the problem in two, the test is only able to measure two minutes’ worth of attention span instead of the ten it was supposed to.)

Psychiatrist: “So, it’s clear that your daughter’s brain is working on a different level than her teacher expects–”

Daughter: *interrupting* “Mom, look! Can you guess what I drew?”

(She’d gotten almost the entire Etch-a-Sketch screen to be black.)

Me: “Um… a black bear at night?”

Daughter: “MOM. No, it’s the void! And now I’m going to magically make the void disappear…” *shakes Etch-a-Sketch* “There, now I’ve deleted that dimension.”

Psychiatrist: “So, as I was saying… different level.”

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