Getting Rid Of The More Colorful Customers

, , , , , | Right | August 3, 2021

A customer is trying to demand we accept a coupon for alcohol that we cannot legally take in my state. She’s spent nearly ten minutes berating my cashier before I’m made aware of the situation, so I head up to the registers as quickly as I can.

While I’m approaching, I hear:

Customer: “You can’t even do a decent job ringing things up! No wonder you’re working at [Store]! I bet you’ll never move past cashier with that hair color and those tattoos!

My cashier in question has brown hair but has two stripes of peek-a-boo rainbow hair that’s hidden when she wears her hair down (though it’s worn up at this time and it’s visible), and one or two small visible tattoos.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m the manager, and I had heard that you had a problem? Maybe I can help fix it?”

The customer whirls around, an already smug grin on her face, and she gets a good look at me in all of my green-haired, tattooed, pierced glory.

Me: “You asked to speak to the manager, right? How can I help you?”

She left without another word, but I’ve never seen someone as red in the face in person as she was!

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Trial By Redial

, , , | Right | August 3, 2021

Whenever someone calls the dealership, they get me, and I direct them to whoever. Even if someone doesn’t know who exactly they need to talk to or which department, I can usually figure it out. And then, there’s this guy.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Dealership]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Someone just called me and I’m returning the call.”

Me: “Okay, do you know who called you?”

Customer: “No, isn’t that your job?”

Me: *Takes a deep breath* “Do you know why someone may have been calling you?”

Customer: “No. I just hit redial on my phone. I didn’t listen to the message.”

Me: “Could it have been for finance? Service? Tags?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Maybe it was about a car I asked about?”

Me: “Okay.”

I directed him to a sales manager. A minute later, I heard that same manager paging the rental car guy to take a phone call. I don’t know if he ever found out who called him.

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With A Good Reputation, Nothing Can Stop You!

, , , , , | Legal | August 3, 2021

I have worked at a well-known gas station in my small town for nearly ten years. One evening, I take a coworker home and take the back route home. At one point, there is a set of train tracks with a stop sign, and then about twenty yards away is another stop sign for the main road I need to be on. At this time, the stop sign for the train tracks cannot be seen at night because of a rubble pile, but I know it’s there and I always stop anyway.

Tonight, as I roll to a stop, I see police cars where my current street merges with the one I need to take. I think, “Oh. They have a drunk driver pulled over,” but when I pull up to the next stop sign, a female officer motions for me to stop and I realize it’s a sobriety checkpoint.

Me: “Sorry about popping my door open; my window doesn’t roll down.”

Officer: “No, that’s fine. Hey, why did you stop back at the tracks?”

Me: “Uh… there’s a stop sign there. I thought I was supposed to.”

Officer: “That is the best answer I have heard all night! Okay, so, do you have your license and insurance on you?”

Me: “Oh, sure! Just got my new insurance card today, actually!”

I unbuckle and begin to dig for my purse in the backseat of the car. I’ve barely turned in my seat when she speaks again.

Officer: “Hold on. I know you.”

Me: “You do?”

Officer: “Yeah! You’re the girl from [Gas Station] — the one who tells all those great jokes! We love you at the station! Sweetie, you head on. Drive carefully and have a nice night!”

Me: “Oh! Okay, thanks!”

I waved goodbye, got home, and walked into my bedroom… where I saw my wallet containing both my license and my new insurance card sitting on my desk.

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Can You Prevent Sales Of Books That Are Going To A Bad Home?

, , , | Right | August 3, 2021

An elderly woman comes in and shoves a newspaper into my face.

Customer: “Do you have this?”

Confused, I glance at the newspaper and can’t see what she’s talking about.

Me: “What item, ma’am?”

She punches at a specific ad in the newspaper and yells at me.

Customer: “THIS BOOK!”

Me: *Looking it up* “I’m afraid we don’t have it.”

She doesn’t seem to believe me, so my coworker comes over and also checks, but no book. Then, the customer wanders around the store and then comes back with two books.

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “Not good.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry!”

Customer: “It was because of you!”

She huffed out of the store. Not my fault we didn’t have the random book she was looking for!

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Convenient, But So, So Stupid

, , , , , | Working | August 3, 2021

I used to volunteer with my township’s all-volunteer first-aid squad. One day, we got a call to respond to a woman who had fallen on the second floor of her apartment and could not get back up. She was alone in the apartment. The complex was comprised of about sixty units. We arrived along with a police officer, which was standard practice for the township.

We located the apartment. Since we did not want to break anything to get in if possible, we started checking doors and windows, hoping something was open through which one of us could climb. There was nothing. We checked the back and considered climbing to the second-story balcony, but there was nothing to use for hand- and footholds. Since the woman was stable and still on the phone with 911, we spent a good ten minutes walking around and around the apartment building, desperately trying to find a reasonable way to get inside. It was then that a neighbor came to us.

Neighbor: “Is [Patient] okay?”

Me: “She’s called 911. We can’t find a way in without breaking a window. Do you know if a neighbor or a nearby relative has a key?”

Neighbor: “Well, actually, I happen to know that every key in the complex works on every door. They’re all the same.”

Cop: What?!

Neighbor: “Yes. Let me go get my key. You’ll be able to get into her apartment.”

I just shook my head in disbelief.

The neighbor got her key and, sure enough, we were able to access the patient without breaking anything. My partner, the cop, and I agreed to never mention this to anyone. It blew my mind that such a thing was allowed to happen. When someone moved out and a new tenant moved in, obviously, the lock was not changed. The new tenant would have simply been given the same. Old. Key.

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