Twinsies! Sort Of. Not Really.

, , , , | Learning | March 28, 2020

(I am a third grade teacher. I have two students who are best friends who look very different from each other. Though they are the same height, [Student #1] has long, light brown hair that she always wears down and she usually wears shorts or jeans and a T-shirt. Her best friend, [Student #2], is skinnier, has shorter, blonde hair that she usually wears in pigtails, has huge pink glasses, and usually wears a blouse, skirt, and knee-length socks. One morning, the girls show up to school very excitedly.)

Student #1: “Notice anything different?”

Me: “I… can’t say I do.” 

Student #2: “Really? Nothing else? We’re dressed like each other!”

Me: “Really…”

Student #1: “Well, okay. We aren’t dressed exactly like each other. We had a sleepover last night, and we decided to pretend to be each other, but she didn’t have any skirts or… those long leg thingies.”

Student #2: “Socks?”

Student #1: “Yeah. She didn’t have any in my size.”

Student #2: “I actually did, but the socks had holes.”

Student #1: “And then we tried to put her hair up but it didn’t want to do that. And I tried to wear my hair like her, but it was uncomfortable, so I wore a ponytail, instead.”

(I didn’t really notice it until then.)

Student #2: “And then I couldn’t give her my glasses, because then I wouldn’t be able to see anything. And she gave me her shirt.”

Me: “So, the only things that changed were that you’re wearing her shirt and changed your hair.”

Student #3: “Hey, [Student #1]… Woah! You look just like her, [Student #2]. Except for the glasses. And she would never wear a ponytail.”

Student #2: “See, Mr. [My Name]! We look exactly the same.” 

(The girls went and sat down next to each other, and for the rest of the day all of the other kids in the class kept gushing about how much [Student #2] looked like [Student #1], even though the only thing that changed was the hair and a shirt.)

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Unfiltered Story #190946

, , , | Unfiltered | March 28, 2020

(I was in an aisle with a customer, and as I was straightening things up, I could tell he was eyeing me. He abruptly turns to me:)

Customer: HEY! Anybody ever tell you brunettes are the shit!?

Me: *suppressed laughter* I’m sorry, what?

Customer: Yeah! Your boyfriend is real lucky!

Me: Th-thanks…

(Later, as I was walking by the front, I pass him again as he’s being rung up by my coworker.)

Customer: Hey man, look at that girl, aren’t brunettes the shit!? I told her brunettes are the shit!

(My older, cooler, male coworker glances at me as I scurried away as fast as I could.)

Coworker: *laughing* Yeah man, whatever.

Unfiltered Story #190944

, , | Unfiltered | March 28, 2020

I work at a small local bank that’s been around for over 100 years. Several years ago the name was abbreviated to 3 letters. Because of this, some people think we’re the same as another larger bank in town. Our buildings look nothing alike.
Customer: Hi, I just need to get cash out. Here’s my debit card.
Coworker: This is for (other bank), we’re actually (bank).
Customer: Oh are they not the same?
Coworker: No ma’am.
Customer: Okay. Well can I still pull money out?
Coworker:…..you would have to have an account with us.

Unfiltered Story #190942

, , | Unfiltered | March 28, 2020

(We have a lot of customers that don’t understand the “self” part of self-checkout. This particular woman is in her seventies at least, gray hair, nicely dressed, and appears dignified until…)

Woman: *wanders up to self-checkout, looks around, spots me, and declares in her best whining-toddler imitation* But I don’t WANNA do it MYSELF! *stomps, flails*

(And no, she didn’t appear to have any Alzheimer’s or other issues as I talked to her while using the self-checkout machine for her.)

Unfiltered Story #190940

, , | Unfiltered | March 28, 2020

(I am 13 years old at the time. My aunt has just picked me up from school and wants a slushy, so we look for a place to get one. We find a convenience store near a gas station and go in to get some slushies.)

Aunt: *Looking through cups* Don’t they have any bigger cups?

Me: Go ask, maybe they’ll have something bigger.

*My aunt goes and asks an employee if there are bigger cups, and he goes into a cabinet to look for them. At this point, I’ve decided to get a drink instead, and I’m waiting for my aunt to get her slushy.*

Employee: I’m sorry, we don’t seem to have any bigger slushy cups at the moment. You can use one of our regular drink cups, though. *He hands my aunt one of the bigger drink cups.*

Aunt: *Looking at the cup and the price.* But this one will cost me more than the other one.

Me: Well, of course it will, it’s a bigger cup.

Aunt: But they’re charging me more for the cup and not the liquid.

*At this point she goes off on the employee, and I’m very clearly embarrased by this display. I eventually get fed up with her silliness.*

Me: Just use the cup!

Aunt: No. You can buy your drink, I’ll be outside.

*She hands me some money and walks out, leaving me in the store. I walk up to the counter and pay, apologizing for my Aunt’s behavior before I go. When I get in her car, she rants about the whole ordeal.*