Hopefully You Have Some Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti At Home

, , , , , | Learning | September 23, 2020

My history teacher is discussing the importance of farming in society.

Teacher: “What do you think you would do if all the grocery stores closed down?”

Without missing a beat:

Student: “Eat each other!”

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Unfiltered Story #209634

, | Unfiltered | September 23, 2020

(I got my first cell phone when I was 15. The first month of having it, I got a battery of calls from the owner of the previous number. Being a kid, I was pretty blunt in telling them that no, I was not an elderly woman named Rose. I still got the random call over the years, but they eventually stopped happening. Recently, I started getting calls from the same business number, and a recent voice mail asking for Rose tipped me off. They called when I was on my lunch break recently)
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello, we’re calling to confirm your appointment for this Friday-
Me: *cuts them off* I don’t have an appointment this Friday. I think this is a wrong number.
Caller: *pauses, then laughs* I didn’t think you sounded like an 80 year old woman. This is [my number], correct? Rose put this down as her number a few weeks back. She must’ve put an old number down.
Me: That’s hilarious. I use to get calls for her all the time when I first got this phone.
Caller: When was that?
Me: Uh, almost a decade ago.
Caller: *pauses* I’ll give her daughter a call to make sure she gets to her appointment. And to ask her to remind her mother of what her ACTUAL phone number is.
(I’ve gotten two more calls since from other doctor offices. Sigh)

Unfiltered Story #209632

, , | Unfiltered | September 23, 2020

I am a frequent customer at a small local coffee and bagel shop that also sells other thing like homemade pastries and sandwiches. The food and drinks are delicious and all of the items are made fresh and can take a while to make so there is often a pretty long line, especially around morning rush hour. On this day I enter the shop at about 9:45 am, so the morning rush has slowed. There are 3 people in front of me in line and the lady right in front of me looks incredibly angry. I have no idea how long she had been in the shop but she looks at me and warns me that if I want food here I’ll have to wait a really long time. I’m not sure what to say so I just smile and nod.

The lady rolls her eyes at me and continues to basically use passive aggressive body language to show she is annoyed. She is loudly sighing, tapping her foot, and shaking her head like she can’t believe how long this is taking. The two workers behind the counter don’t even notice because they are running around preparing orders for the two customers in front of us, but I am getting nervous about what she might do. In about five minutes they finish with the other customers and get to the lady, and she basically screams her order at them.

Her bagel is ready less than two minutes later, and she runs up to the counter, SLAMS her hand down, knocking over a sugar container and cream jug in the process. Everyone in the store looks at her. Without a word, she picks up her bagel, and storms out of the store, stopping to flip tables along the way. Just before she left she picked up a chair near the door and threw it across the room!

Just a tip, if you are in so much of a rush you can’t wait 7 minutes for your order without destroying the restaurant in anger, maybe just eat later?

Unfiltered Story #209628

, , | Unfiltered | September 23, 2020

(I work in a small town steakhouse that closes for a few hours in the afternoon before dinner. We reopen at 5 and I usually get there around 4:30. I’m standing in the kitchen with the cook, getting our salad bar prepped and less than five minutes after I arrive, two people walk in. There is a sign with our hours and one that is turned to “CLOSED”. Every light except the kitchen light is off, but I walk out to the bar anyway)
Me: Uhm…Hi.
Customer 1: How are ya?
Me: I’m doing well. Can I help you?
Customer 2: Yeah, two Buds and some menus.

(Keep in mind, the entire restaurant is dark and nothing for the evening has been prepared yet.)

Me: I’m sorry, but we don’t open for another half hour…Not until 5.
Customer 2: Well geez!!

(Both walk out, visibly upset. Oddly enough, they’d done something similar to my friend, who owns a bar in the next town over.)

Unfiltered Story #209626

, , | Unfiltered | September 23, 2020

My mom and I walk into a popular department store in an outlet. We’re shopping for my dad and my mom spots a really nice sweater within seconds of walking in. The sweater is originally $79.95 but it’s 70% off at the moment. My mom remembers that we had 2 coupons for this store, an 10% off and a $20 off. To my surprise, the cashier tells us we can use both.

Cashier: Okay, your total today will be $11.45.
Mom: What? Did you apply all the discounts?
Cashier: Yes ma’am, plus the coupons.
Mom: The total should be way less than that.
Cashier: Let me check..Oh yes, you’re correct!
*a few seconds of rescanning*
Cashier: Your new total is $3.75.
My mom has a smug look on her face.