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Should Have Gone For (M)Academia

, , , | Right | July 15, 2010

Customer: “What’s in the White Chocolate Macadamia cookie?”

Me: “White chocolate and macadamias.”

Customer: “Oh, duh. That was a stupid question.”

Me: “It’s okay, people ask me all the time what kind of nuts are in the ‘Chocolate Almond Joy’.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, haha! Walnuts!”


This story is part of our Stupid Eaters roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Customers Who Were Dumber Than The Burgers They Ordered

 

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High Cholesterol, Low IQ

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2010

Patient: “We need to schedule a surgery.”

Me: *looking over the patient’s chart* “Surgery? For what, ma’am?”

Patient: “The doctor said I had high cholesterol. And I want him to go in and cut it out. Take it all, I say.”

Me: “He can’t just go in and remove the cholesterol. There are ways that you can lower your cholesterol.”

Patient: “Don’t lie to me. There’s cholesterol-free food. I’ve seen it. Someone has to go into the food and take it out, now, don’t they? You just don’t want me to use my free health care. You probably voted for McCain!”

Me: “Let me see if I can reach the doctor.”

Piercing Observation

, , , , | Right | July 14, 2010

(I’m approached by what looks to be a teenager and a younger child.)

Teenager: “Hello. My daughter would like to get her belly button pierced.”

Me: “Did the man at the front check your ID?”

Teenager: “No.”

Me: “I’m going to have to.”

(I see that he is seventeen years old.)

Me: “Sir, this ID shows that you’re even younger than me. How old are you?”

Younger Child: “Eleven.”

Me: “So, she’s eleven?”

Teenager: “Yes.”

Me: “And you’re seventeen?”

Teenager: “Yes.”

Me: “So you had her when you were six?”

*long pause*

Younger Child: “I told you it wouldn’t work, dumba**!”


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Salvation Barmy

, , , , | Right | July 13, 2010

(We take electronics and recycle them for people.)

Me: “Thank you for calling! How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, do you recycle clothes?”

Me: “Clothes? No, we only take electronics. You should try the homeless charity across the street.”

Caller: “I don’t want to give them to homeless people. I just want to recycle them!”


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Military Intelligence, Part 6

, , , , , | Right | July 13, 2010

(A patron had an item due back at 3:59 pm, so that read as ‘03:59 pm’. They returned it around 3 pm.)

Patron: “I don’t know what time this was due at. I can’t read army time.”

Me: “We don’t use military time. Where were you seeing it at?”

Patron: “Right here on the receipt, it says ‘13:59 pm’.”

Me: “It says 03:59 pm. Just drop the zero.”

Patron: “No, army time is harder than that.”

Me: “If it was due back at 13:59, it would’ve been due back at 1:59 pm.”

Patron: “So, I’m late?”

Me: “No, because we don’t use military time. Plus, that’s still not proper military time formatting. All you have to do on our receipts is drop that zero and you have the normal time.”

Patron: “Oh! I get it now! So if I drop the one, then I get the correct time from army time?”

Me: “That’s not military time or a one.”

Patron: “I’m glad to know how army time works now!”


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