Me: “What can I help you with today, sir?”

Customer: “Well, for starters, you can talk to that girl at the front desk. She made me fill out so much paperwork!”

Me: “I’m sorry. She must have been mistaken. Can you show me the forms you were asked to complete?”

Customer: “No. I don’t have them.”

Me: *confused* “Where are they?”

(The man proceeds to lead me to the front desk and gestures at the sign-in sheet where visitors are asked to write their name and zip code.)

Customer: “This! She made me write all this!”

This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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Customer: “What’s in the White Chocolate Macadamia cookie?”

Me: “White chocolate and macadamias.”

Customer: “Oh, duh. That was a stupid question.”

Me: “It’s okay, people ask me all the time what kind of nuts are in the ‘Chocolate Almond Joy’.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, haha! Walnuts!”

This story is part of our Stupid Eaters roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Customers Who Were Dumber Than The Burgers They Ordered

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Patient: “We need to schedule a surgery.”

Me: *looking over the patient’s chart* “Surgery? For what, ma’am?”

Patient: “The doctor said I had high cholesterol. And I want him to go in and cut it out. Take it all, I say.”

Me: “He can’t just go in and remove the cholesterol. There are ways that you can lower your cholesterol.”

Patient: “Don’t lie to me. There’s cholesterol-free food. I’ve seen it. Someone has to go into the food and take it out, now, don’t they? You just don’t want me to use my free health care. You probably voted for McCain!”

Me: “Let me see if I can reach the doctor.”

(I’m approached by what looks to be a teenager and a younger child.)

Teenager: “Hello. My daughter would like to get her belly button pierced.”

Me: “Did the man at the front check your ID?”

Teenager: “No.”

Me: “I’m going to have to.”

(I see that he is seventeen years old.)

Me: “Sir, this ID shows that you’re even younger than me. How old are you?”

Younger Child: “Eleven.”

Me: “So, she’s eleven?”

Teenager: “Yes.”

Me: “And you’re seventeen?”

Teenager: “Yes.”

Me: “So you had her when you were six?”

*long pause*

Younger Child: “I told you it wouldn’t work, dumba**!”

This story is part of our Fake ID roundup!

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Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get a piece of candy?”

Me: “Sure, that’s one dollar.”

Customer: “Oh. I only have a five.” *starts walking away*

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? I said it’s only a dollar.”

Customer: “I know. Why would I waste four dollars?”

This story is part of the Customers-Causing-Recessions roundup!

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