(I am scanning in some returned movies when a mom and her young son approach with movies to rent. I pull up her account and notice there are about $7 worth of late fees.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, there is a balance on your account. Would you like to take care of all of it today?”

(I think she will, considering she is wearing designer clothes.)

Mother: “What movies were they for?”

(I look them up and tell her that the kids’ movies were all about 13 days late, meaning about $3 for each movie was added as a late fee.)

Mother: “But those were free kids’ movies!”

Me: “Well, yes, it’s free to rent them, but it’s sort of like the library. If they’re late, there’s a charge.”

Mother: *yelling* “NO, THEY WERE FREE. TAKE THAT OFF!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They were extremely late, so I cannot take the charges off.”

Mother: “Fine! We’re leaving and never coming back!”

Me: *as she’s leaving* “Okay, bye!”

Patient: “I wanted to give you my new number.”

Employee #1: “Okay, whenever you’re ready.”

Patient: *navigates through phone menu* “[Number], [number], [number], four, six, one, ten.”

Employee #1: “Uh, can you give that to me again? I think we have an extra digit in there.”

Patient: *navigates through phone menu again* “[Number], [number], [number], four, six, one, ten.”

Employee #1: “Okay, you’re giving me eight digits. Can you just read me out the actual numbers?”

Patient: *navigates through phone menu again* “Uh, I have to get to it again! [Number], [number], [number], four, six, one, ten.”

Employee #1: “That’s still eight digits.”

Employee #2: “Why don’t you try calling us and we’ll see if it pops up on the caller ID?”

Patient: *fumbling with phone* “I don’t think I have any minutes!”

Employee #1: “Do you want me to take a look at the screen and see if I can figure it out?”

Patient: *navigates through phone menu AGAIN*  “Okay, it’s [number], [number], [number], five, four, six, one, ten.”

Employee #1: “Now that’s nine digits.”

Patient: “Let me write it down!”

(The patient wrote down [number], [number], [number], four, six, one, zero.)

(At my gas station, we have a small sub shop. This happens one busy night when I hop over to help the deli worker.)

Me: “Can I get you folks anything?”

Customer: “What’s the CBR?”

Me: “That’s our Chicken Bacon Ranch.”

Customer: “So, what’s in it?”

Me: “Um… chicken strips, bacon, and ranch dressing.”

Customer: *thinks for a moment* “So, it has, like, hot sauce on it?”

Me: “…”

Related:
The Sauce Of Their Confusion

(I work at a swim shop near the beach.)

Manager: “It’s been raining for two hours; no one’s going to come today. Let’s close up early and head for an early dinner.”

Me: “But the weather app says it’ll stop by four.”

Manager: “Those things are never right. I’m closing up!”

Me: “Did [Boss] say it’s okay?”

Manager: “I’ve been working here for five years. Trust me; I know what [Boss] wants.”

(We closed up, and guess what? By four it was 80 degrees and the beach was booming. The boss was really upset to lose out on such a good business day.)

(I am a supervisor in the customer service office for an amusement park. A guest would like her $15 for parking refunded, and my associate calls me over to handle the transaction.)

Me: “Ma’am, why do you need your parking refunded?”

Guest: “I have a card! You don’t have to pay with a card! I get free admission with this!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Please let me see your card for a moment.”

(The guest hands over a card that is very clearly not a company card.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is a United States National Parks senior pass, not a [amusement park] pass.”

(She paid that day.)