Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Geography, My Arch Nemesis, We Meet Again…

, , , , , | Right | December 10, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] at Santana Row. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Your stores are having midnight releases for ‘World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King,’ right?”

Me: “Yes, certain locations are going to be open, but our store–”

Customer: *interrupting* “It’s already midnight on the East Coast; you can’t you sell them now?”

Me: “Uhh… unfortunately not.”

Customer: “BUT WHY?! IT’S MIDNIGHT IN THE EAST COAST!”

Me: “Well, it’s not midnight here, so, NO, we can’t sell it.”

Customer: “But people will be leveling up before me! AGHHH! This is bull-s***!”

Me: “Either way, our location isn’t going to be open for the midnight release. The closest location that will be open for the midnight release is 45 minutes away.”

Customer: “So if I go there, they should be selling them?!”

Me: “Probably not. They’re still on Pacific Standard Time.”

Customer: “What should I do then?! Everyone on the East Coast will have a head start!”

Me: “Maybe you should move to the East Coast.”

Customer: “What time are you closing?”

Me: “10:00 pm.”

Customer: “I’m coming right now!”

Me: “Okay…?”

This… Is… Spyware!

, , , , | Right | December 9, 2008

Customer: “Hi, my son says that I have Spartans on my laptop and I should bring it to you guys.”

Me: “Ma’am? Spartans?”

Customer: “Yes, I called my son at school and told him that screens keep popping up all the time, and he said that I have Spartans.”

Me: “Oh! You mean trojans! That’s a possibility; let me run this analyzer on your laptop real quick and we’ll see what’s going on.”

Customer: “Young man, my son is in college and he says it has Spartans. You just stand here in a little uniform and make minimum wage. I think my son knows what he is talking about.”

Me: “You’re right, ma’am. I was hoping to run a diagnostic and find out that it wasn’t Spartans, but just by looking at the login screen, I can tell that you probably have about 300 of the little guys running around.”

Customer: “300?! Is that bad?”

Me: “It’s horrible. They cram themselves into a bottleneck and kill wave after wave of data, until there is a wall of dead programs blocking any more traffic through your computer.”

Customer: “Oh, that just figures. I’m going to go buy a new computer.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I think that would be best.”

Wictor Wictoria

, , | Right | December 9, 2008

(I used to work for a call center that handled an American credit card account. My coworker relayed the following transaction to me.)

Customer Service Rep: “Okay, I have your account here; could you verify your full name please?”

Customer: *garbled name*

Customer Service Rep: “I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t quite catch that… could you spell it for me please?”

Customer: “T…O…Wee…”

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry, was that P?”

Customer: “No, Wee.”

Customer Service Rep: “E? As in Eagle?”

Customer: “NO! Wee! Wee!”

Customer Service Rep: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand…”

Customer: “Wee! As in Wictor! As in WICTORY!”

It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | December 8, 2008

(I am helping a customer sign into their email.)

Me: “Okay, I need you to type ‘A’ as in ‘Apple.'”

Customer: “Now, don’t get all technical on me!”


This story is part of the Still-Not-Getting-It roundup!

Read the next Still-Not-Getting-It roundup story!

Read the Still-Not-Getting-It roundup!

I’ll Take Some Chocolate And My Baby’s Daddy, Please…

, , | Right | December 8, 2008

(I happened to be on call-quality monitoring when one of my coworkers got this call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling **** Gifts, my name is ****. How can I help you?”

Caller: *with a thick accent* “Do you have anyone there that speaks Spanish?”

Coworker: “No, I’m afraid we do not. Is there anything I can do for you, ma’am?”

Caller: “Where is my check?”

Coworker: “…your check?”

Caller: “Yes, where is my check?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t think I follow–”

Caller: “Where is my child support check?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, we sell candies and cookies. We don’t have your check.”

Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

Coworker: “…Because we’re a gift-ordering service. We don’t handle child support checks.”

Caller: “Well, can you give me the number to the child support check people?”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t know what that number is. We aren’t connected with them in any way.”

Caller: “WHY NOT?!”

Coworker: “…”