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That’s A Talented Cow

, , , | Right | December 12, 2008

Me: “What can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a turkey sub. No. Ham. I’ll have a ham and cheese sub.”

Me: “What kind of cheese would you like?”

Customer: “Bologna.”

Another Repressed Memory

, , , | Right | December 11, 2008

(I have a flat-screen TV near my workplace that was showing a recent cartoon on DVD: “Tinkerbell”. A customer comes by with her toddler daughter in the cart, and watches a bit of the movie with the child.)

Customer: “Aw, that’s cute! What movie is that?”

Me: “It’s Tinkerbell“.

Customer: “My little girl likes that one. How much is it?”

Me: “It’s new, so it should be around 15 to 20 dollars.”

Customer: “15 to 20 dollars?! That’s almost all of my beer money!”

Who You Gonna Call?

, , | Right | December 11, 2008

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you sell ghost vacuums?”

Me: “Umm… no?”

Customer: “Okay, well… thanks anyway.”

Diagnostics Through Osmosis

, , , | Right | December 11, 2008

(I was working part-time in my dad’s shop when a customer comes in with a blue Kia Pride.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My car don’t work.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “It don’t work.”

Me: “Um, could you specify, ma’am?”

Customer: “I just told you, it don’t work.”

Me: “Uh, okay… let me just take a look to see what the problem is.”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Huh? Why?!”

Customer: “Nobody goes into my property, and my car is my property!!”

Me: “But I have to see your car to know what the problem is, ma’am.”

Customer: “I just told you! It don’t work!”

Me: “…”

(Turned out, she just ran out of gas.)


This story is part of the Customers-Are-Their-Own-Worst-Enemy roundup!

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Read the Customers-Are-Their-Own-Worst-Enemy roundup!


This story is part of the Auto-Shop roundup!

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I Just Lost My Appetite…

, , , | Right | December 10, 2008

(A customer comes in with “artistic” nude pictures of herself and her husband, and throws them on the counter.)

Customer: “What kind of frame should I put on these? They are going in the kitchen.”

Me: “The kitchen, huh? Well, I can start you off with a few options.” *I show her a few frames*

Customer: “…and how much would this be?”

Me: “$350.00 each.”

Customer: “For $350.00 I’d expect something a little more… phallic.”