Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Irredeemable Ignorance

, , , , | Right | March 18, 2014

Customer #1: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Chile.”

Customer #1:  “Oh, really? I love your statue!” *spreads his arms cross-like*

Me: *smiling*

Customer #2: “That’s in Rio.”

Customer #1: “Well, close enough.”


This story is part of our “Where are you from?” roundup!

Read the next “Where are you from?” roundup story!

Read the “Where are you from?” roundup!

A Good Friendship Is On The Cards

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 17, 2014

(I’m highly articulate, but not especially emotional. This sometimes causes problems where I am misunderstood. My roommate and good friend has recently related to me that she had been uncertain whether or not we were friends until one evening, when it came to her like a revelation.)

Roommate: “We had chatted for a while and hung out together. It wasn’t until that one night when you were off work earlier than I was, but you stayed after to talk to me until I was done working. Then I knew that we were friends.”

(This is a strange concept to me, as I had thought it was more obvious who I did and did not like. One day, I am asked to drive a mutual friend to run an errand. This is a new friend, and we laugh and talk about things that we have in common. I later talk to my roommate about the trip.)

Me: “I really like [New Friend]. We should hang out more.”

Roommate: “Oh, good. I was just talking with [New Friend] about that. It seems she had no idea you guys were friends until you took her to run that errand, and you had a good time.”

(I may start issuing cards that say, “Congratulations! We are friends now!”)


This story is part of our Making Friends roundup!

Read the next Making Friends roundup story!

Read the Making Friends roundup!

The Father Of All Bad Examples

, , , , | Right | March 12, 2014

(I work at an indoor children’s play place. Leaving with kids who aren’t yours could be a problem, so we stamp a different number on every family’s hand. You can’t leave with a child who has a different number. I am working at the front counter where I have to stamp a number on the family’s hands, work the register, answer the phone, and check family’s hands to let them out the door. Sometimes it’s overwhelming working by myself.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Thank you for calling [Indoor Play Area]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I’d like to get a birthday party room for my son.”

Me: “Okay, give me the date and I’ll start looking up times for you.”

(As I am looking up times for the caller, an enraged father comes up to me.)

Father: “HEY! WHERE’S MY SON!?”

Me: *caught completely off guard * “What?!”

Father: “WHERE IS MY SON?! YOU LET MY SON WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR! WHERE THE H*** IS MY SON?”

Me: “Sir, the door that you go out of is locked and I have been keeping an eye on this door. I’m sure your son is still in here and is in the [play area] somewhere.”

Father: “YOU LET MY SON OUT THIS DOOR! IS HE IN THE PARKING LOT? IF HE GETS HIT, I’M KICKING YOUR A**! HE GETS HIT, I’M SUING YOU!”

(Some back and forth goes on like this for a minute. I am almost ready to go into the parking lot to find his son when some other father in the play area, actually playing with his child and keeping an eye on him, speaks up.)

Other Father: “Hey, [Father], isn’t this your son?”

(The father looks up and sees his son directly above us in the play area watching this whole little episode. He looks back at me, doesn’t say a word, and walks away. I sit there for a few seconds, collecting myself.)

Caller: “Is someone yelling at you?”

Me: “Oh, shoot. Sorry, ma’am. I completely forgot you were still on the phone.”

Caller: “Haha, that’s quite all right. That guy is kind of a d**k.”

(I set up the birthday party and then go on working. I’m closing tonight, too, so I have the distinct pleasure of having to check this father’s hand to make sure it’s his son. They finally decide to leave after a while. As they walk up to the door:)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, but I have to check your hands to make sure this is your son.”

(They show me their numbers and he is, in fact, this boy’s father.)

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(The father never said another word to me or made eye contact. What a great example of how to be a man he is setting for his son.)


This story is part of our Birthday Party Roundup!

Read the next Birthday Party Roundup story!

Read the Birthday Party Roundup!

In Need Of A Worldly EdUKation, Part 2

, , , , | Friendly | March 11, 2014

(I am a British tourist visiting New York City. I am waiting at a subway station in Queens, when a woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Excuse me; what trains do I need to get to [Place]?”

(As it turns out, I am very familiar with the subway system.)

Me: “Oh, you just need to take [trains and stations].”

Woman: “Gee. Thanks! Hey, you’re from England, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “Whereabouts?”

Me: “Oh, Folkestone in Kent. About an hour or so from London.”

Woman: “Do you know [Name]? She lives in Stoke-on-Trent!”

(Stoke-on-Trent is about 230 miles and four hours drive from Folkestone.)

Me: “No. I don’t, I’m afraid.”

Woman: “Oh, she’s only just moved there. You’ll probably meet her at the store or something! England’s such a small country. Say hi to her for me! My name’s [Her Name]!”

Thoughts Suspended

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2014

(I am in a reserve officer training class at a sheriff’s academy. Enrollment in this class is done through a community college, not the sheriff’s department. When it is time to do the firearms instruction, you have two choices: you can use your own firearm if it is one of the authorized service pistols, or you can borrow one from the academy. If you borrow one, you need a driver’s license for proof of identity in case something happens to the firearm.)

Student: “Well, I don’t have my license.”

Deputy #1: “Then we can’t loan you the pistol.”

Student: “But I need to do this range stuff to graduate, right?”

Deputy #1: “Yes. That is why we tell people to bring their license if they need to borrow a firearm. We cannot lend you one without it.”

Student: “I can’t bring one in. I don’t have a license right now.”

Deputy #2: “What? I saw you drive up here. What do you mean, you don’t have a license now?”

Student: “Well, it was suspended.”

Deputy Sergeant: “Did you just tell us you are driving on a suspended license?”

Student: “Yeah. It sucks.”

(Deputy #1 and #2 share a look.)

Deputy Sergeant: “So which car is yours?”

(The student points it out.)

Deputy Sergeant: “And you drove that here on a suspended license?”

Student: “Yeah. Like I said, it sucks.”

Deputy Sergeant: “Okay, well, let me see what I can do.”

(The deputy sergeant goes to the office, and comes back about 15 minutes later.)

Deputy Sergeant: “When you found out that your license was suspended, did they also inform you that it was for a failure to appear on your drunk driving case and that there was a warrant for your arrest?”

Student: “Uh, let me think… Yeah. There was something like that in the letter.”

Deputy Sergeant: “Well, that warrant is why you are under arrest.”

Student: “What!?”

(The rest of the class was amazed at the idiocy that this guy displayed. His mom came by later to get the car. She was not pleased with her son, and she had no idea he even had a drunk driving incident!)


Did you find this story using our Police roundup?

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to get back to the roundup!