(I’m walking by a small corner store not far from where I live. I see someone get kicked out for not wearing shoes or socks, as it “breaks the health code.” This upsets me, as there is no health code violation for being barefoot absolutely anywhere. I talk to the person and bring them back in, as there is no sign forbidding it, and there is no health code entry for it. I take my shoes off, as well, to help defend the argument.)

Employee: “Didn’t I just tell you to leave?! And now you brought another one?! Get out of this store!”

Me: “Actually, I came to inform you that you are discriminating. There is no health code violation anywhere in all 50 states saying you can’t be barefoot in a store, and there is no sign stating that there is a dress code violation. I’d like to see your manager on behalf of [Person].”

(The manager comes out and we explain what happened.)

Manager: “I’m having trouble seeing the big deal here.”

Employee: “It’s simple! You can’t just walk around outside without shoes! Your feet get all dirty, and its bad!”

Manager: “That’s not true at all. I barely ever wear shoes outside of work, and the only reason I wear them here is that there could be sharp things on the floor, since you don’t do your job at keeping the floors clean!”

(The employee gets flustered, and started looking embarrassed.)

Manager: “As long as you guys promise not to hold us accountable for any foot-related injuries you may obtain, I’m fine with it.”

Employee: “God, you people are a sin!” *runs out of store*

Manager: “God, I hope he quits. I do not want to send him a severance check.”

My teacher for Intro to Bioscience Technologies has scheduled a field trip to Genentech for his two classes in December, which my class is very excited about. But on the week of the field trip, the teacher finds out there’s only space for 40 students. He decides to let the other class period go, and reschedules mine.

Fast forward two months. The field trip is finally happening. The morning of, I wake up and look outside to see several inches of snow and ice. School ends up being cancelled, and the field trip is again rescheduled.

A month later, it’s March, and the teacher looks up the weather forecast. The weather has been perfectly pleasant for months, so we’re not really worried, even though there’s a chance of snow on Friday.

Friday morning, I wake up and see… snow. Lots of it. I check the school website, and it’s not cancelled. I live in a rural area at a high elevation, so I often get snow when most students don’t, so I have to miss school… again… on the third rescheduling of the field trip I was looking forward to. The class goes without me.

I think the universe really didn’t want me to have that field trip.

(I work for a pizza place, and my boss is a HUGE flirt, but he never actually approaches girls he finds attractive. Instead, he tells me. In this instance, he’s talking to me about a girl I just interviewed, who was very nice, but just didn’t seem like a good fit.)

Boss: “Hey, [My Name]. You’re going to hire her, right?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t know. She didn’t really impress me. I think she might be too inexperienced.”

Boss: “I think you should. She’s hot!”

Me: “Um… [Boss], you’re engaged.”

Boss: “Hey, I’m allowed to appreciate!”

Me: “Okay, while I respect that you said, ‘appreciate,’ and not just, ‘I can look,’ I should probably let you know… she’s 16.”

Boss: *gets a deer-in-headlights look, as he is 27* “Uh… Yeah… Um…” *pauses* “This conversation never happened.”

(At the fast food restaurant where I work, our smoothie and frappe machine and ice cream machine both have to go down about once a week for cleaning. It never fails that as soon the machines go down, all people want is ice cream and drinks we can’t make. Most people are okay ordering something else, but some people get nasty about it, like this lady does.)

Me: *taking the order through my headset* “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: *in a fairly rude tone* “I want three ice cream sundaes with nuts.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we actually can’t do sundaes because our machine is down for cleaning. Can I get anything else for you?”

Customer: “Wow, really? All I wanted was ice cream. No, thanks.”

Me: “I’m really sorry about that. Have a nice day!”

(I expect this to be the end of it, but at the window where I’m handing out food, a car pulls up with their window open. Expecting this to be my next order, I smile and go to hand them their order.)

Customer: “No, not mine. I wanted ice cream.” *drives off*

(She stopped at the window JUST to tell me that. Really, lady?)

(I’m a special education teacher. I am reviewing letter sounds with a second grader. I am showing letters, and he is giving me words that start with that sound. I pull out a V.)

Boy: “Um… Oh, a vampire!”

Me: “That’s right.”

Boy: “Did you know that, um… they come from, um… that country that’s really far away? Across the ocean. It’s called, um… um… Oh, yeah! Syrup!”

(Normally, I can stifle my laughter when he says things like that. Thankfully, he likes making people laugh. I’m pretty sure he meant that they come from Europe.)