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In Spock We Trust

, , , , | Right | January 4, 2010

Customer: “Why is Star Trek on the wall?”

Me: “It’s a new release, sir. Interested in renting it?”

Customer: “Son, Star Trek is a tool of the Devil. I demand that you remove it from your shelves!”

Me: “I can’t do that.”

Customer: “God forgive you for corrupting the youth of America!”

A Misunderstanding Of Pi

, , , , | Right | January 1, 2010

Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a large pepperoni pie and a bottle of [Soda] delivered to [address].”

Me: “Okay, your total is [total]. That’ll be about a half-hour. Is that all?”

Customer: “Oh, also, how much extra would it cost to have my pie be sixteen slices instead of eight? I’m really hungry tonight.”


This story is part of our Pizzas & Bad Customers roundup!

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Read the Pizzas & Bad Customers roundup!

They Don’t Know Jack

, , , , | Right | January 1, 2010

Customer: “This negative customer feedback uses someone’s name, so it should be removed.”

Me: *reading the comment* “Ma’am, the customer said, ‘Paying extra for shipping didn’t do jack.’ ‘Jack’ refers to a phrase, not a name.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve never heard that before. You say it’s a phrase, but to me it’s a name, and that’s personal information, and it should be removed.”

Me: “Well, is there someone in your organization named ‘Jack’?”

Customer: “No, there isn’t. I don’t know where she got that name from, but she’s up to something and you’re letting her get away with it!”


This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

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Want to read the roundup? Click here!

I Deign That Spain Stays Mainly In The Brain

, , , , , | Right | January 1, 2010

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello. You don’t sound American. Where are you from?”

Me: “Oh, I’m Spanish.”

Customer: “Oh, from Mexico.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m Spanish.”

Customer: “You’re from Puerto Rico?”

Me: “No, I’m Spanish. I’m from Spain.”

Customer: “Oh, do they still have that country?”


This story is part of our Spain-themed roundup!

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Read the Spain-themed roundup!

Rain Drops Keep Falling On My (Thick) Head

, , , , , | Right | December 31, 2009

(I am working the drive-thru. It is raining heavily.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Place]; how can I help you?”

(All I hear is the rain falling, so I repeat several times until the customer finally pulls around.)

Customer: “Did you get my order?”

Me: “No, I didn’t hear you say anything, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I didn’t want rain to get in my car. I wasn’t sure if you could hear me through my window.”


This story is part of the Drive-Thru roundup!

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Read the Drive-Thru roundup!