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When Stupid Questions Attack

, , , | Right | May 22, 2008

(While resetting a user’s password…)

Me: “Okay, the password needs to be at least seven characters long, has to have at least one upper case letter, one lower case letter, and one number.”

User: “What about an upper case number?”

Me: “…”

Just Wait ‘Till He Meets The Dwarves In The Urinals

, , , | Right | May 22, 2008

Man: “Hey! I put my card in the ATM machine over there and put in my numbers, but it won’t give me any money. Does that even make any sense?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, the ATM is owned by that bank. You’ll have to call them.”

Man: “Oh, you would say that!”

Me: “If you’d like, sir, I can try to give you cashback here at my register, but I cannot access your bank information.”

Man: “I mean, I go to my bank and I can get out money just fine, but here… it won’t even work. I mean, does that make any sense?”

Me: “Would you like me to call my manager for you, sir?”

Man: “Oh, you’d try to save your job, wouldn’t you!”

(And then it gets weird…)

Man: “Wait!” *points at ceiling* “There used to be windows there! You people boarded them up!”

Me: “WHAT?”

Man: “Yeah! YEAH! The guys on the computers! I bet you have them up there watching me and keeping me from getting my money!”

Me: *laughing* “Um, sir, there are no people living in our walls. Go to your bank, and have a nice day!”

Man: *grumbles and leaves, turning back to look at the ceiling every few steps*

(From that point on, my co-workers who witnessed this blame everything on the ‘people in the walls’.)

Thy Gluttony Knows No Bounds

, , | Right | May 19, 2008

Me: “Hi, did you need any help today?”

Customer: “Nope, I’m just looking.”

Me: “Alright, just tell me if you need anything.”

(The customer stops and looks at the rats.)

Customer: “DO PEOPLE EAT THOSE?”

Me: “N-no, no they don’t…”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Just wondering!”

Me: “…”

Check The Pot At The End Of The Rainbow

, , , | Right | May 18, 2008

(Customers have been calling in asking for their Economic Stimulus Tax Rebate since the third week in April, even though it wasn’t scheduled to start showing up until the first weekend in May.)

Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was wondering if my $600 rebate was in my account yet? My neighbor got his.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like it has not been deposited yet.”

Customer: “Why not? My neighbor got his already.”

Me: “I do apologize, but the IRS has not sent the deposit to your account yet.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir, but you can call the IRS at 1-866-*** ****, or visit their website. They can tell you when yours is scheduled to be deposited.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just put the money in my account?”

Me: “Because we don’t have it, sir.”

Customer: “Well, after it comes in, I’m changing banks!”

Me: *shakes head*

Pointless Tantrums

, , | Right | May 18, 2008

Server: “What can I get for you to drink today?”

Customer: “Diet Coke.”

Server: “Is Diet Pepsi okay?”

Customer: “No, I want Diet Coke.”

Server: “Well, we only carry Pepsi products.”

Customer: “Fine, then! I won’t drink anything!”

(Whatever floats your boat, lady. It doesn’t make any difference to me whether or not you drink something.)