Modern Technology Can Pass By In A Blur

, , , , , | Right | July 9, 2010

Customer: “I had a question about this one movie.”

Me: “Okay, what’s up?”

Customer: “How blurry is it?”

(I am surprised for a moment, but then I think maybe she is referring to movies in 3D; sometimes those look a little blurry.)

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Well, it says here that it is blurry and if it’s too bad I do not want to rent it.”

Me: “Oh, let me see it.”

Customer: “Do you have any other copies?”

Me: “Ma’am, this copy isn’t blurry. It is in Blu-Ray, the new format designed to replace DVD movies.”

Customer: “Oh, all right.”

Me: “Do you have a Blu-Ray player?”

Customer: “What is that?”

Me: “I’ll just grab a DVD copy of the movie for you.”


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Sins Of The Father, Part 2

, , , | Right | July 9, 2010

(My dad builds websites from home, but when’s he’s out I answer his office phone and take notes for him. I am a twenty-year-old female, and my father is a fifty-five-year-old male.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Father]’s office; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, I need to ask you a question about this design template.”

Me: “I’m sorry. My dad isn’t in right now but I can take a message.”

Customer: “Oh, good heavens! You know, you sound exactly like your father.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “Are you Christian?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, that must be it, then. All you heathens sound the same to me. Well, I’ll call back.” *hangs up*

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Wishy-Washy Analogies

, , , , , | Right | July 9, 2010

(I work for a place that sells towing systems.)

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if my car needs to be there when they install the mounting brackets for the tow-bar?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Since the mounting brackets are installed on your car, your car will need to be there.”

Caller: “Why? I don’t understand.”

Me: “Well, sir, the mounting brackets are permanently attached to your vehicle. In order to attach them to your vehicle, we will need your vehicle to be there.”

Caller: “I’m not sure if I follow.”

Me: “Well, sir, say you come to my house so I can wash your car, but you ride your bicycle. Since your car isn’t there, that means I can’t wash it.”

Caller: “Oh, I get it now… I think.”

Me: “Great, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “So, you all have to wash my car to do it. That’s why it has to be there!”


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Her Head’s Up In The Sky With Diamonds

, , , , | Right | July 8, 2010

(A customer about the age of thirty walks into the store.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for some recent Beatles records. Do you have any?”

Me: *assuming she means recent re-releases* “Hold on one second.”

(I find some and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Thank you so much! The Beatles are my favorite band! I would shoot myself if they ever broke up!”

Customer Behind Her: “Well, get your gun ready.”


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It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days

, , , , , , | Right | July 7, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Electronics Store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was wanting to buy one of those thingies that records stuff on a tape.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. What exactly were you looking to use this for?”

Customer: “I want to record myself singing and send it to my grandkids.”

Me: “Well, it sounds like you’d need a voice recorder for that.”

Customer: “Oh, then I just send them the tape?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, our company discontinued tapes. Almost everything gets recorded onto digital data, like memory cards and such.”

Customer: “What’s a memory card?”

(I provide a lengthy explanation of memory card.)

Customer: “So, then I just mail them the memory card instead of the tape?”

Me: “No, ma’am. You could simply e-mail them the file of the audio clip.”

Customer: “What’s e-mail?”

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